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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hard to believe my daughters little friend lies so much and she's only 7 yrs old.. Yesterday I told my daughter i don't want her to be her to be friends with her anymore.It's just been escalating and thats enough kind of thing..
Yesteray she lied to my daughter classmates saying the reason she went home sick was because she threw up in her shoes, then she calls the house and tells my daughter her mom wants to talk to me, I get on the phone and i can tell right away it's the little girl, and she says Hi this is Brens mom and i said "what"?? She said it again, I said yeah right Bren stop playing games i'm not stupid, i'm tired of your little games it needs to stop.
Well then today she tells my daughter her mom doesn't want her playing with my daughter anymore, turned the whole thing around..
Anyone ever have problems with kids like this before? The hard thing is she's in my daughters class and hard to get away from..
Theres been other lies but i guess this broke the camels back kinda thing.
 

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IMO, not a good idea to tell your dd not to be friends with her. Tell dd that friend lies and some day all her lying will catch up to her and if dd is hanging around with her she will get caught up in it and get in trouble too. No lies there, it will happen some day. But the point being that telling dd she shouldn't be friends with someone she wants to be friends with will most likely backfire.

I can understand your frustration with the friend. I had friends like that, didn't take too long before I realized they weren't really friends at all. Give your dd extra love and support and tell her again that some people tell "stories" to get attention and she doesn't need to do such things to get attention from you. You need to give your daughter the skills to handle liars now so she can recognize them and deal with them later.
 

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most kids tell stories at that age. they are only seven..i wouldnt worry about it too much.
now if its something BIG..then i would worry, but this is innocent stuff.

now my 9 year old son has a friend in the neighborhood who will steal stuff from neighbors..then bring it to MY house saying "my mommy wanted me to give you this".

i caught on to that. I just simply told him "thank you, but you need to take it with you when you leave".
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I've explained to my daughter that these lies she's telling might be small now, but when she gets older they are going to big lies and get into alot more trouble..
Even the Mom knows theres a problem but she doesn't know what to do about it.. IMO she's the one that let it get out of control, the girl calls here to see if my daughter can play if we don't answer the phone she constantly keeps calling, if it isn't the home phone she's calling the cell phone, theres no discipline there and you can tell..
Once she called at 10am in the morning wanting my daughter to play, I said sure we go over there the mom doesn't even know she called us..
My oldest had friends like that also, and she was able to weed through them and she has great friends now..
I don't like to be lied to, thats my big thing.. and she seems to think it's ok, or doesn't get what she's doing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
most kids tell stories at that age. they are only seven..i wouldnt worry about it too much.
now if its something BIG..then i would worry, but this is innocent stuff.

now my 9 year old son has a friend in the neighborhood who will steal stuff from neighbors..then bring it to MY house saying "my mommy wanted me to give you this".

i caught on to that. I just simply told him "thank you, but you need to take it with you when you leave".
I see what your saying, but these aren't small lies.. These are big lies, once she lied to me about this cell phone she had and said this guy kept calling her on it and he was saying things to her , but she didn't know who he was.. So i asked her mom about it and she oh and giggles a little and says that cell phone doesn't work..
The mom knows theres a problem, the teacher knows theres a problem.. The moms that i talk to know theres something not right there..
Sure kids tell little fibs once in awhile, and i can catch my daughter when she does and I call her on it, but this is something different.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
The mom doesn't know what to do about it? Has she ever heard of parenting and counseling?
I know and the moms a substitute teacher.. She's a single mom nothing wrong with that there are alot of single moms that do great with there kids, but i just think she dropped the discipline thing somewhere along the line.
The girl is really smart and reads really well.. just thing going on.. Maybe she'll outgrow it?
 

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. . . . . . the girl calls here to see if my daughter can play if we don't answer the phone she constantly keeps calling, if it isn't the home phone she's calling the cell phone, theres no discipline there and you can tell..
Once she called at 10am in the morning wanting my daughter to play, I said sure we go over there the mom doesn't even know she called us..
I'd say you might want to plan a visit over to the neighbors. Meet with the mother, tell her what is going on, you do not approve of it, etc. Meet with the girl, call her on why she called the other day pretending to be her mother, etc.

Explain to her, that you do not lie, and you do not approve of liars. Ask her if she knows the difference between a lie and the truth. And then explain to her, that if her lying continues, your daughter will not be permitted to play with her.

As for her calling your house, and continue to call, I would invest in an answering machine and start screening all calls. If she calls, ignore her. As for giving your cell phone number out to her, I'd change cell phone numbers and not let them know what your new number is.

As for your daughter, explain to her that some people lie just to get attention, and you will not tolerate it.
 

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I had a friend like that in grade school. She lied a LOT and the one time she came to my house to play she swipped a My Little Pony and a Strawberry Shortcake (does that date me or what!?). She told her mom I gave them to her and my mom said no and demanded her mom give them back. I was allowed to play at her house, but not she at mine. Fast forward a couple years, my dad has an affair with her mom while he's remodeling her house, they then get married and the girl, who by 7th grade I totally hate, is now my step-sister and she lied to all my friends that I had diseases and was spreading lies about them, so I had no friends. It was bad enough I transferred to a new school in 8th grade and had lots of "issues" by then. By the time I was 19, she found out I was watching my dad and her mom's house when they were in Mexico and she was so mad it was me and not her she called the cops and said we were having an underage party and had alcohol & pot, so my girlfriend got back from a snack run to find 3 squad cars at the house talking to our boyfriends and another guy friend, the cops laughed at the situation, apologized and left. I haven't seen her in 14 years and I'd still like to punch her. I'm still thankfull to this day the cops didn't go down in the basement where we had all the beer stashed! No pot tho.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Yes Michael good advice thanks.. The reason she has the cell number is because we gave it to her mom once when my daughter was over there playing it's programmed into her cell phone, the girl get ahold of the phone and calls whoever..
Once she even called my DH's work phone to see if my daughter could play, DH was not happy and told her not to call it again!! It's out of control.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I had a friend like that in grade school. She lied a LOT and the one time she came to my house to play she swipped a My Little Pony and a Strawberry Shortcake (does that date me or what!?). She told her mom I gave them to her and my mom said no and demanded her mom give them back. I was allowed to play at her house, but not she at mine. Fast forward a couple years, my dad has an affair with her mom while he's remodeling her house, they then get married and the girl, who by 7th grade I totally hate, is now my step-sister and she lied to all my friends that I had diseases and was spreading lies about them, so I had no friends. It was bad enough I transferred to a new school in 8th grade and had lots of "issues" by then. By the time I was 19, she found out I was watching my dad and her mom's house when they were in Mexico and she was so mad it was me and not her she called the cops and said we were having an underage party and had alcohol & pot, so my girlfriend got back from a snack run to find 3 squad cars at the house talking to our boyfriends and another guy friend, the cops laughed at the situation, apologized and left. I haven't seen her in 14 years and I'd still like to punch her. I'm still thankfull to this day the cops didn't go down in the basement where we had all the beer stashed! No pot tho.

Aww thats horrible.. See her lies spun out of control sounds like a bad experience all way around :(
 

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I can only guess that Casey Anthony's lies started at an early age. I'm also guessing that her parents either thought it was cute, ignored her lying, or didn't address the lying and issue punishment. Yes, I believe whatever punishment is necessary to stop it. It's easier to deal with at an earlier age than when she's grown. Look at the Anthonys today.
 

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I have (had?) a neice like that. When she was old enough to talk she started lieing. She is now in her late 50's and no one knows if she is dead or alive. She started with the lies, then it escalated to stealing then forgery and drugs. She's been in prison a couple times and no tellin how many times in jail. Now she's been missing since 2003 or 2004. None of her family knows where she is. Even her two sons don't know where she is or how to find her.

I agree the girl needs heavy duty counseling.
 

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I agree with Michael and I'd go one step farther with the girl.

I'd tell her that she is a liar and you don't like liars and she cannot call your house or visit or anything else.

It might be a wake up call for the child.
 

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The little girl's home is not a peaceful, nurturing home. There is something going on. Other adults taking her to task for her lies is not helping the situation. It sounds like she is lacking love, security and attention.
 

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this does not solve a lot of the problems but I was reminded of what I did when my dd's friend told whoppers. I started referring to her as lucy (used her real name) the liar. I would say, you mean Lucy the liar said that? I always reinforced the fact that the kid told lies and could not be believed.

Side note, this kid turned out to be ok. A little independent, but not really her fault.
 

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The trouble with little kids telling lies is then they grow up and still lie because they have gotten away with it. My dd's husband and in-laws would rather lie than tell the truth even if it is a small lie. That was the way they were brought up.
 

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We ran into a problem with one of the little neighbor boys. He told some of the other boys in the neighborhood that my DH pulled down his pants and put his finger where it shouldn't be. I was flabbergasted! I immediately called the boys mom. Come to find out, he had been sexually molested by some teenage boys in their last neighborhood and hasn't been right in the head since that time. Fortunately, she made her son tell the truth to the other kids and there has been no problems since then.
 

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You know, this is a great learning experience for you own DD, to instill the desire for telling the truth, maybe even tell that story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. (not saying your own DD lies, it is something you obviously feel strongly about, just saying you can use this all as a life's lesson, you know?)
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Becca, Yes we've talked about Boy that cried wolf and she kinda understand the concept. It has gotten to the point when the girl isn't lying I still don't believe her because she's lied to me so much, isnt that sad?
I've tried alot, thinking well i will give her another chance, but that never works out.
 
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