How would you handle this? Uncontrolled kid/dining ...

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by Cygnet, Nov 29, 2006.

  1. Cygnet

    Cygnet Well-Known Member Supporter

    Sep 13, 2004
    Middle of nowhere along the Rim, Arizona
    Local pizza parlor -- so I pretty much expect kids to run wild. Kid friendly place. Normal kid behavior doesn't bother me. But I was pretty much at a loss on how to handle a situation today.

    Mom, dad, three small children -- infant in a carrier, and two little girls that were about two and three. The toddlers were running loose, COMPLETELY unsupervised, with no comment or input from mom or dad on their behavior. (Mom and dad seemed to be enthralled with the new baby.) Mom could see them (and did glance up occasionally, and once told the kids to leave her purse alone) but did NOTHING to control their behavior.

    The younger toddler --

    1. Ran up to me and started patting at me and grabbed my badge for my workplace off my belt. (No comment from mom, though she was watching.) She also tried to get into MY purse, which the mom witnessed -- I thought it was strange that the mom would stop the kid from getting in HER purse, but not say something when the kid went for mine.

    2. Pulled the chair back at our table, and cried when I blocked her from joining us at our meal. I had to physically pick her up and move her away from the chair. (If she'd gotten up in the chair her next move would have been to grab for the scalding hot pizza. Small table.;) Again, no comment from mom, even when the kid started fussing and crying at me because I picked her up, and I shot the mother a dirty look and pointed at the kid and then the pizza from across the room. (I thought that message should have been clear -- your kid is trying to get my pizza, come GET her!)

    3. Grabbed food off my plate -- a chicken wing bone that I'd been eating on -- when I was looking at the other kid. AGAIN, no comment from mom. At this point, I asked a restaurant employee to perform some "kid patrol" and the employee rolled her eyes and did nothing.

    This child also ran behind the counter and tried to grab things behind the counter -- Mom yelled at her to "get out of there" and was completely ignored by the kid. She also DID manage to grab a knife off someone else's table.

    Grrr. The place is kid-friendly and has high chairs with seatbelts; I was very sorely tempted to pick one up, carry it over to the parents, and suggest they use it.

    (And again, I don't mind kids being kids -- but yeesh. THe parents said nothing even when they SAW misbehavior.)
  2. Lisa in WA

    Lisa in WA Well-Known Member Supporter

    Oct 11, 2004
    Yow. I don't know what it is with some parents. Last summer we were hauling a pony to camp with my daughter and stopped for lunch at a Subway, parking the truck and (new) horse trailer where we could see it. Midway thru lunch we saw 2 boys (around 13 or so) running up to the back of the trailer and jumping off the rear door with both feet. With the horse inside. My husband went running outside and yelled at them both to stop and stay away from the horse trailer. Unbelievably, the father was sitting inside his truck watching the little monsters and he said nothing. When my husband came back inside the boys mother who had been waiting in line (and knew what her boys were doing) lit into my husband and told him he should show more respect for her boys and shouldn't have yelled at them. Unbelievable.

  3. Beltane

    Beltane Enjoying Four Seasons

    Nov 26, 2005
    Beautiful Milton, New Hampshire
    Oh my...and I thought Wal-Mart was bad! Um...I don't have children so I may be waaaatyyyy out of place...but that would have never happened in the home I grew up in! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. :rolleyes:
  4. cc

    cc Well-Known Member Supporter

    Jun 3, 2006
    It is bad when it is complete strangers but I feel that way about my step grandchildren (don't have any of my own) They are all getting a book on manners for Christmas. I guess I'm a mean grandmother!
  5. Wendy

    Wendy Well-Known Member

    May 9, 2002
    SE Indiana
    I would have said something to the parents. If they get mad, too bad. I really try not to take it out on teh kids because they are only acting the way they have been taught to act. It's the parent's fault & if it happens again, take the kid back to their table & tell them to keep their kid with them.
  6. townmouse

    townmouse Well-Known Member

    Oct 14, 2003
    Oh, I'd be mad.

    In the first place, we go out soooo rarely that I would be annoyed our treat was ruined.

    I would also be so upset for those kids. The parents are not caring about the other diners, they are also not caring about their children :( That little child could have been burned, hurt, scared, stolen...

    When you are a mama you are supposed to look up now and then. Those children need protected from their own impulses, and taught how to be part of polite society. Anything short of that is parental neglect.

    The parents would have got an earful, and if that didn't work I like Rose's idea of making the management care.
  7. frogmammy

    frogmammy Well-Known Member Supporter

    Dec 8, 2004
    Wise words from a fellow I worked with, when one of these type kids was around..."Lady, either train IT, or put a collar and leash on IT".

    Funny how non-caring parents object...when you call their child "IT". 'Course, it seems to solve the problem, too.

  8. Laura

    Laura Well-Known Member

    May 10, 2002
    If you stand up and loudly proclaim, "I will spank you butt if come over here and annoy me again!" The parents will keep Little Darling away from you, because they will do anything to prevent appropriate discipline from happening to their offspring.

    It really does work.
  9. DocM

    DocM Well-Known Member

    Oct 18, 2006
    NW OR
    Spanking is never appropriate punishment. Proclaiming that you're going to beat a stranger's child probably would though.

    There's two sides to every story.
  10. jen74145

    jen74145 Well-Known Member Supporter

    Oct 30, 2006
    Northern California
    Wow... kid couldv'e been seriously injured there.
    Gotta wonder what is wrong with people... and pity those poor kids...
  11. dhaley

    dhaley Rebel Chick

    Oct 16, 2006
    I have told uncaring parents that if they didn't deal with their child, I would! I am a mother of 4, and my children have been taught to act better than that. When a child is left unattended their is so much that can go wrong. Sometimes it seems that parents need to be taught that lesson. It is sad that the child will probably have to get hurt or abducted before the parent learns though.
    So, while some people will find me rude, I see my interjection as a way of helping protect the child.
  12. james dilley

    james dilley Well-Known Member Supporter

    Mar 21, 2004
    deep south texas
    I would have asked to speak to A manager. And then gave said person A earfull. And the parents would NOT have been happy.With me I garentee that. I would ask them if they expect their kids to have A 5th birthday, The way they are acting. In other words control the rug rats or you might lose them.
  13. DonnaKay

    DonnaKay Well-Known Member

    Jul 23, 2006
    And people wonder why society is going downhill so fast. It seems to get worse with each generation. It used to really drive me nuts when you would see a kid doing something like swinging a stick around in a crowd of people or jumping on someone else's furniture and the Mom would say, "Honey don't do that....mommy doesn't want you to get hurt" never any mention that the child might hurt someone else or that they were being disrespectful of other people's property. That "you are the center of the universe" parenting has led to a new bunch of parents that believe they are still the center of the universe and can't even show real concern for their own children.

    Sorry you had your evening ruined.

  14. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

    May 2, 2005
    SW Missouri near Branson (Cape Fair)
    Oh you'll think I'm a meany for saying this, but I would have very surrupticiously bent over and gotten just a finger full of her hair wrapped around my finger (assuming her hair was long enough), and whispered to her as I gave it a good hard yank to get away from our table. Usually, children will react well to pain and will depart. Your goal is not to injure the child, simply punctuate the point that you want them gone. Occasionally you can "accidentally" whack a kid that is standing too close to the table by standing up quickly and pretending you didn't see them or didn't realize they were so close.

    Of course if you were REALLY BRAVE you could just saunter over to the parents and say.... "pardon me, it seems your baboons have slipped their leashes". LOL I love that line.

    Anyway. You should have taken it up with management and complained loudly and possibly even LEFT (without paying) if the manager would not assist you in handling the situation.

    Better luck next time.

  15. comfortablynumb

    comfortablynumb Well-Known Member

    Nov 18, 2003
    Dysfunction Junction, SW PA
    the best insult....

    stand up, walk out, and tell the wiatress "they are picking up the check over there"

    since mommy isnt paying you any mind....

    you ruin my mean with rug rats, you pay for my food with kid fingers all over it.
  16. Laura

    Laura Well-Known Member

    May 10, 2002
    Whether spanking is ever an appropriate correction is highly debatable and not the scope of this thread, nor would I ever lay a hand on a stranger's child. I never said "beat" either. Spanking and beating are NOT the same thing.

    The loud threat though usually works because those thoughtless parents don't know if you will spank Precious or not. If the out-of-control child approaches again, start growling like a grizzly bear. If the child keeps advancing, wait until it is within arms reach, jump up, flail your arms and roar like a lion and scare the snot out of the brat.

    If you wish to be more discreet, simply get in the kid's face the first time he gets in your space and tries to touch something, slam your hand on the table and tell him if he comes back you will break his fingers. Oh, traumatizing? Tough noogies. It's a tough world with dangerous consequences. The sooner that's learned the easier life a kid will have. Hungry strangers with PMS can be dangerous.

    I have absolutely no tolerance for these parents and their kids. Who I'd like to beat is T. Berry Brazleton and his ilk, so-called "Parenting Experts," who convinced millions of young mothers the proper method to raise children is to "ignore the bad behavior." Now how on God's green earth does ignoring something result in correction? According to these pinataheads, at some magical point, the kid stops acting badly, shows self control and concern for others besides themselves. Like all fairytales, it's not reality. I haven't seen it happen yet!

    Without corrective discipline in the younger years, you can expect your teenager and adult child to have the maturity and self-control of a two year old. If they ever do seek counseling for their problems, they will be mad at you for neglecting their needs. If you are a parent who buys into the "ignore your child's bad behavior," remember this, only you have unconditional love for your child. The world does not. The rest of us in polite society have conditions on our relationships. We don't like out-of-control people. We don't like self-centered, manipulating, lying, thieving, whiney, tantrum throwing, snit-fitting people. We tend to throw them in jail. The not-so-polite segments of society throw those kind of people under trains and off bridges when they are done using and abusing them.

  17. seedspreader

    seedspreader AFKA ZealYouthGuy

    Oct 18, 2004
    NW Pa./NY Border.
    BWAHAHAHA. You must be from California or something.
  18. gilberte

    gilberte Well-Known Member Supporter

    Sep 25, 2004
    I would have left and made sure management knew why. If I had already paid for the pizza I would have demanded my money back, if I hadn't I wouldn't pay.
  19. SFM in KY

    SFM in KY Well-Known Member Supporter

    May 11, 2002
    A very good friend works part time in a Hallmark store and just recently had a run-in with one of these.

    Mother is shopping, arm full of "goodies", child is having a temper tantrum, yelling and hitting at mother.

    My friend goes over to the customer to offer to take her items to the cash registered for her (hoping to avoid dropped/broken items) and boy child whirls around and raises an arm at her.

    Friend has raised one boy and had a number of foster children (all of whom are mostly very respectable, hardworking young people now). She said all she had to do is glare through her glasses and down her nose, lower her voice and say, in a very doom-filled voice: "Touching ME would be a VERY BAD IDEA!" and he decided to believe her.

    My mother was a grade school teacher most of her life. I don't believe she ever "spanked" any child, even when physical punishment was not considered a felony within the system ... but I never, ever saw a child that didn't instantly become civilized when she turned on the "professional glare" ...

    I'm sorry you had to deal with this though, and sorry that either the parents or the management did not do so.

    I will not tolerate this kind of disturbance. I have, more than once, requested to be moved to another section of a restaurant where I will NOT be disturbed by someone's unruly children (if the restaurant is big enough) ... and at least once I stood up ... announced to the waitress/manager in a very loud, penetrating tone that "My DOGS are better trained that those children and I refuse to eat in a place that will allow children to behave like that and will not allow me to bring my dogs in!" ... and marched out without paying.

    And my dogs WERE better trained ... they both had obediance titles and one was a working police dog ... who would definitely NOT have tolerated the behavior of the children!
  20. asher

    asher Well-Known Member

    Feb 26, 2006
    Western NC
    Wow, between this and your other post on "rocking" a kid who was really hate kids, don't you? Just wow.

    To the OP: I would be apalled to see kids acting like that and if they were my kids, I wouldn't have stayed long enough for that to happen. (Then again, mine know eating out is a rare treat and if they want it to happen again in the future, they need to sit at the table and do what we came eat.)

    I, personally, would have complained to the manager as well.