How to be good neighbors.

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by tsdave, Aug 4, 2006.

  1. tsdave

    tsdave Grand Marshal

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    After the last few "my neighbors are evil, and i am good for fighting them" threads, for some reason revolving around dogs, I decided to post what i think makes for good neighbors. What i do for my neighbors, and what i want them to do for me.

    What makes good neighbors:
    Quietness, unobtrusiveness, calmness. I like people who keep their animals quiet, their cars quiet, keep unnecessary outdoor lights off, their radios and turned down (as in i dont want to know what your listening to or hear your bass thumping).

    What i do for my neighbors:
    I dont shoot their dogs when they are on my property or bothering me, i just think about it. I keep my animals as quiet as possible. I dont blow grass on their lawn. I pick up trash close to their property.

    What i expect my neighbors to do for me:
    Notify me when my animals are out, or bothering them for some reason. It doesnt happen often.

    Other than that i dont really care to know my neighbors. The best neighbors are ones you have lived by 20 years and dont know their names or how many kids they have.

    The best of neighbors are the ones that never stopped by to say hello, they just blend in to the country it self. Maybe a rattle here, a clank there, or a mower from time to time, just to let me know they still live there, thats all the communication i need.

    With just the understanding that if i hear someone yelling for help i will call 911 and come see what up, and that they would do the same for me.
     
  2. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I have to diasgree to part of your post, about the best neighbors being the ones you don't know. I would like to know my neighbors and what kind of people they are. Who knows some day you might just need them. I also keep my dogs quiet. The only time they bark is when some one comes up our driveway. Some time our neighbor's dog (puppy) comes over here. But most of the time one of their boys are right behind her trying to catch her.

    Our next door neighbor seems to be really nice. They have only lived there about a year. Our neighbors around the circle, some are good people others are not so good.

    We have never had any problems yet with any of our neighbors. We have lived here 9 years.
     

  3. amwitched

    amwitched Well-Known Member

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    Good post tsdave!!! I like to think that I am that kind of neighbor. I love to walk on my land and hear the wildlife and nature talking around me.

    I am a someone who is always there if someone needs help or just wants to talk, but I usually do not seek out the company of others. I don't just walk into someone's yard unannounced.

    They will call me if they need some eggs and I will call them if I need to get rid of some zucchini and beans.
     
  4. triana1326

    triana1326 Dances in moonlight

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    I like to have neighbors that I can count on and vice versa. We're always doing little things for each other - like she watches our psycho kitty when we have to travel somewhere and we mow her lawn, put in a new AC unit, and pick her up stuff when we go to the store that she may need. She shares her tomatoes and shows me new embroidery stitches. I show her how to program her VCR (darn thing is really complex!) We'd like to have neighbors like that when we move back north, but it's not a deal breaker if we don't...
     
  5. EasyDay

    EasyDay Gimme a YAAAAY!

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    I agree that it's best to know your neighbors. And our neighbors are our best friends. I don't mean just one family of neighbors... I mean all of us here on Bliss Mountain.
    Sure, we trade skills and tools, but we also all hang out on the weekends, sharing food and laughs, share game from lucky hunting days, extra veggies from our gardens, etc.

    It's one for all and all for one here on our mountain.

    Can you tell I just LOVE where I live? :D


    Edited to add: No, we aren't a commune! Sounded like that, didn't it? We don't have any obligation to anyone. We just all enjoy sharing with one another.
     
  6. AngieM2

    AngieM2 Big Front Porch advocate

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    I live in a small mobile home park, and the neighbor lady in front of me and I look out for each other.

    She loves to work on yards outside, and mow about every 3 days. I don't have a mower, but only have a very small patch of grass that needs mowing - she does my mowing. That way it matches her's and she likes doing it.

    Then when any of her immediate family need a pair of pants hemmed, or something sewing done - she brings it to me and I get it done for her, cause that's what I like.

    We keep an eye on each other's homes when the other is away - sorta neighborhood watch.

    And the other day she was cooking up good garden stuff she'd just gotten from her family..... and she brought me a huge plate and two or three sides of fresh veggies. Can't beat that!

    She's one of the reason's I haev to find just the right place before I'd consider moving.

    (Also, we don't mind each other's business, or get in each others way.)

    Angie
     
  7. All country

    All country Well-Known Member

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    Indiana
    I think we have different ideas about what good neighbors are. We consider anybody in a 3-4 mile radius a neighbor. We are fortunate to have great neighbors.

    We know our neighbors. We have been here for 18 years. They have watched our children grow.

    We have difficulty growing sweet corn here. We live on a bit of a hill and it will get blown down every time. Yet, we have not had to buy corn in years. A neighbor plants an acre in it. Every year he will stop by with his little truck and ask if we'd like a little. Every year we end up with enough to feed our family for a year. Often with enough to share with others. The same family also keeps our goats in hay over the winter. Say they have to much of it. They refuse to take anything for any of it saying "what are neighbors for?"

    Another neighbor was driving by and saw DH & oldest Son working on the roof. Next thing we knew he was right there working beside them. He knew they had never done it before and he had. Now we have a fine new roof. Then he brought several bags of shelled English walnuts from his trees. He also wouldn't take anything for any of it.

    The neighbors across the road have a nice fenced pasture. We don't have a pasture, but we do have milk goats. We asked them about renting their pasture. They said "Sure you can keep the goats over here, but you can't pay anything for it, shoot they'll help keep the weeds down." He will also refill water buckets when he notices the goats have knocked them over and we're not home.

    Another neighbor knew we would be willing to raise some pigs for our & our families freezers. He had a some that a customer didn't pick up. He gave us a call and let us have 5- 100/120 # pigs for $80. Said it saved him a trip to the sale barn, then let us use his trailer to get them home!


    Another neighbor saw we were working on getting rid of some scrap metal. He brought his cutting torch down for DH & DS to use. Won't take anything for it either. Said we won't use enough of anything to worry about it.


    The kind of neighbors we are:

    Oldest Son helps the first neighbor around the farm. They're starting to experience more aches and pains and DS told them they don't need to be lifting those heavy bags of hog feed anymore. Now they just stop by and pick him up before going to the grain elevator and will call if they have some heavier work that needs done. We now insist on helping them bale hay. Our daughters help them with the spring cleaning around their home. We keep an eye on each others properties.

    I bake goodies and take them to our neighbors. Fresh milled whole wheat bread is a favorite, second only to pecan rolls. We share our excess with them. We have extra eggs or milk they can have it. One neighbor loves when we butcher rabbits and I make sausage links.

    When one neighbor went thru a difficult divorce and we saw her ex husband heading her way, we picked up the phone to warn her. Then drove right over to make sure she was OK.

    When a neighbors new puppy wandered off, we spent 2 days helping look for it.

    Our neighbors also hunt and put up their own meat. We just bought a walk in cooler, professional meat saw, grinder, wrapping tables, and have a meat cuber and slicer.(got a great deal on it) Our neighbors are welcome to use it.

    We knew another neighbor did wood working. We had a 6' hard maple log that was too pretty to just cut & burn. We gave it to him. He made us a beautiful pepper mill.

    Even with all of this we are not on each others doorsteps all the time. We often go weeks without visiting. We all like our privacy, but are there for each other when there is a need. We are all on very friendly terms.
     
  8. Qwispea

    Qwispea Well-Known Member

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    What a refreshing 'neighbor' thread this is ..a wonderful welcome change of pace from some of the 'neighbor' threads we had been seeing.

    I really like tsdave's attitude! But not just tsdave ..as I also admire the responses from everybody else so far too!
    Like all of you ..I am very fortunate. I have 4 very good neighbors within a mile of me. We are always looking out for each other ..but as Angie said ..we don't "meddle" into each other's affairs or get in each other's way. We will help each other when we feel welcome or when we see the need ..but we don't intrude.
    We will go out of our way ..within reason ..in order not to offend our neighbors. (We'll keep noise levels down at inappropriate times ..we keep our properties, buildings, homes in good repair so as to maintain property values. It is indeed a blessing to have good neighbors. Sometimes ..in order to have good neighbors ..it takes being a good neighbor.

    From the sounds of everyone here in this thread so far ..I would love to have everyone here for a neighbor ..you all sound absolutely terrific. Everyone here so far seems to practice what it takes to be a good neighbor.
     
  9. Shygal

    Shygal Unreality star Supporter

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    I hope that when I find my homestead, that I have neighbors like EasyDay and All Country do, and that Im the type of neighbor that people say such nice things about. :)
     
  10. tsdave

    tsdave Grand Marshal

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    About half of the 14 nearest houses are relation of some sort, and i count them as relatives not neighbors. On the relative side, we do things for each other. Borrow this, help with that. I had decent help building my house, after i helped build theirs. They mow my fields, i let them run cattle on them. etc. Some of the relatives and neighbors are good friends though.

    All the neighbors except the closest ones wave. Now thats fine communication. Silent but effective.
     
  11. Shadow

    Shadow Well-Known Member

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    We have been here 20 years and have great neighbors all around. No one lets their dogs bark and its not because we are close to eachother house. We live on 120 acres south of us neighbor has over 800 acres. All the places here are on several acres. If there is a fire, ambulance people respond. Do what ever they can to help. When we had a tornado everyone pitched in to help when one of the neighbors had no insurance and was 70 and was talking strange and playing with guns a neighbor called the sheriff and was told closest unit was thirty miles away, and 20 minutes the neighbor called me since I was experenced and we handled the problem. When strangers are in the area and around houses neighbors will just ask what they want and if needed they will be asked to leave, it happened a couple of times. We all watdhj out for each other. The older ones know if they are ill somone will be there. Have seen people set for days 24 hours , bringing the family food and seeing they have what they need while a loved one is passing. Yes you could move in and not get involved but that would be your loss a big one.
     
  12. PyroDon

    PyroDon Well-Known Member

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    A good nieghbor offer to help without being asked.
    A good nieghbor doesnt try to tell you what you can or cant do on your own property.
    If your going to have a BBQ or party its common curtisy to inform or invite the neighbors .
    I pesonally do three large fireworks displays at my home every year. I always inform the neighbors and invite them. we always are sure to be done before 10PM this is just being curtious . (now for those about to scream about how fireworks scare animals, the loudest firework make is 100 time qieter than a single bolt of lightning. I have had deer in the same field we were doing our display in while the display was being fired. Our horse as well as the neighbor horses ignore them completely. )
    A good neighbor will ask before crossing your property (this works both ways)
     
  13. suburbanite

    suburbanite Well-Known Member

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    My little suburban neighborhood for years was one where people didn't know their neighbor's names. When I started gardening I wound up with excess produce at certain times, so I'd knock on doors until someone was home, introduce myself, and ask them if they could help me by taking my garden surplus, which was too much for me to eat but too little to justify a canning project. After doing this for most of this year, and picking up bits and pieces of non-private kinds of events (so and so had tools taken from the back of his truck in his driveway, be careful. Did you see that thus and them got a new tabby-and-white kitten?), suddenly people are starting to talk to each other.

    That said, I have a long friendship with my neighbor on one side and we help each other when need be. The neighbor on the other side is a problem--their toys, noise, and pets spill out onto the street and everyone else's properties--but I won't blight this thread with it.
     
  14. deberosa

    deberosa SW Virginia Gourd Farmer!

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    I've been on my place for 3 years now. This spring I had a yard and plant sale and met many of my neighbors for the first time. I started an e-mail list of those who wanted to stay in touch and sell some produce and plants that way. One day I was stopping home for an errand and one neighbor stopped by. She was interested in a Banty but they were all out foraging. We walked by my collection of maple trees in pots that another neighbor gave me. She liked them so I gave her two of them. She mentioned she had guineas and I told her I would buy some from her if they hatched any out. She left with a load of maple trees.

    Last night I came home from work and she was there again. This time with a box with 6 hours old guinea chicks! Mentioned she sure would like some produce so while she ran an errand I fixed up a collection of greens, basil, green beans, carrots, spagetti squash, summer squash and several bunches of herbs for her.

    The neighbor that gave me the tree gave me a pile of posts, we cut them to 10 ft sections - several dozen of them because they were clearing an area at their place. I will be giving them some cedar tree starts when the rains come in the fall. They also are enjoying fresh eggs and produce.

    This is the kind of neighbors that I enjoy. Had different ones before, this is a true blessing.
     
  15. seedspreader

    seedspreader AFKA ZealYouthGuy

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    I would take you and mtman as neighbors anyday... I figure as hard as that fellow works he's going to get everything done around you're place pretty soon and will be dying to do SOMETHING and I always have plenty to do.

    Have you updated your site recently???
     
  16. Jaclynne

    Jaclynne Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I have always had good neighbors. Where I am now, we have the sweetest neighbor ever. I help feed her cows in winter, hubby does tractor work for her. I take her extra food when I'm cooking, and try to check on her weekly and more if I don't see her out. She's 90 yrs old and loves to fish and garden, so she brings me fish and garden stuff, and shares herbal rememdies with me. (Says her Mama was an herb woman and doctors used to send patients to their house.)
    When I married hubby 3 yrs ago and moved here,(he'd been here 10 yrs) he had 5 huge, scarey dogs, he let run loose. I'm sure they harrassed the neighbor's cows and probably the neighbors too. In six months I had them pared down to 2 dogs and they are in the fenced yard. He just did not see them as a problem and the neighbor liked him so well, she wouldn't come out and say, although she said it to me.
     
  17. Peacock

    Peacock writing some wrongs Supporter

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    I'd like to think we're good neighbors - the kind that might appease all of you. Our dogs are fenced in and we bring them in when they start yapping for no reason. We make the kids shut up if it's late and they're in an area that might disturb someone. We keep our property tidy. We try to find the balance between being nosy and keeping an eye out for something unusual that might mean trouble.

    Aside from two rather strange children, our neighbors seem pretty good. One sold us a brand new bed he'd been storing for $50 - we really needed it. On the other side, he brought our trash cans in without being asked when we went on a two-day trip. Across the street, our neighbor offered to lend me some sewing supplies when I mentioned I'd taken up quilting. The neighbor two houses down (that's quite a ways down the road) brought a dog she'd found roaming to see if it was ours before turning it in the shelter folks. (It wasn't.)

    I've found the people around my area to be a little "cold" and standoffish sometimes, but darned if they don't come through when it counts.
     
  18. ponyboy123

    ponyboy123 Well-Known Member

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    Well up here in Nova Scotia, we maritimers are known for our hospitality. I like to treat my neighbors like family, sept for one guy down the road, we just don't get along. I feel that what comes around goes around, you reap what you sow. Neighbors are what make up our community and makes a great place to live. Sure you can't get along with everybody all the time, but you do your best. I give what I have to offer wether it be time, extra veggies, meat, eggs tools and it has come back to me 10 fold.
     
  19. EasyDay

    EasyDay Gimme a YAAAAY!

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    Thanks, ZYG, for the kind words!
    DH works harder than he should, but he sure gets things done! And if you were our neighbors, you can bet he'd lend a hand. I think we'd make great neighbors because of our common beliefs.

    Nope, haven't updated the site recently. Please understand that I'm not as hyperactive as mtman, and I'm the "webmaster" in the house. He reminds me almost daily that I need to get hopping on that. Thanks to your added pressure, guess I'd better get hopping soon! :p
     
  20. punkrockpilot

    punkrockpilot Well-Known Member

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    I wish my neighbors in the ozarks were nicer, they ignored us for the first 9 months or so after we moved in, one day they were in a jam and gladly accepted my help - they went right back to ignoring us the next day - I guess it could be alot worse than just being ignored. I think they found out we were from new orleans - meaning they cannot call us yankees so they have nothing else to say to us.