How to be a good neighbor?

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by luckysranch, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. luckysranch

    luckysranch Well-Known Member

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    Help - I have got myself into a "too nice neighbor" situation. We own a very private 200 acres and my neighbor has the surrounding 1500 acres. He came up to our house (in his hunting clothes) asking to use our driveway next to our house as a parking place while he hunts on his property next door. This way he won't have to walk so far on his own property??!! Anyway, I (being way too naive) said OK because I thought he meant just that night - not the whole season and I wanted to make a "nice, neighborly" gesture. (I guess I am a wimp)

    Now, my husband is yelling at me because we have no privacy with him parked in front of our house every morning and night. The neighbor has been nice to us and I don't want to start a fight, but I do feel that I have lost my privacy. Frankly, I don't know why if he has so much land that he needs to use ours too.

    Should I just talk to him and explain our feelings? My husband wants to put a lock and chain across our driveway and the gate between our properties.
     
  2. moopups

    moopups In Remembrance

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    Hunting season lasts a short time, neighbor relations last much longer...
     

  3. Gercarson

    Gercarson Well-Known Member Supporter

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    This is a "benign" situation. You have given your permission and this neighbor did ask if he could use the driveway. You did not ask further questions. If you can engage him in a friendly conversation you may bring up the fact that you didn't realize that he was asking for "carte blanche" permission, but that you thought he was asking for the one time. Then his reaction should tell you how to proceed. Otherwise, I'd have to say you must abide by your "good neighbor's" word and live with this. How does this invade your privacy?
     
  4. luckysranch

    luckysranch Well-Known Member

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    Well, our house is 1/2 mile off the county dirt road. It took us 3 years to find a place with no close houses. This neighbor lives about 3 miles down the county road. I don't want to sound weird, but we just prefer being "alone" on our property. We are not hermits, but we really treasure our privacy at home. We love living in the "middle of nowhere" with nobody around. I think others on this board can relate.
     
  5. CoachVince

    CoachVince Member

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    Depending on your property, it may be an option to add a small gravel turn-off that would be convenient for your neighbor, but out of sight from your main house. Of course, if the spot is in public view, it may be inviting to others as well. Unfortunately, it probably comes down to deciding whose feelings you are more concerned with.
     
  6. rickd203

    rickd203 Well-Known Member

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    Explain to him that you didn't discuss this with your husband before giving your approval. Your husband likes his privacy and is upset with you for allowing his privacy to be disturbed. Since your neighbor seems to need access to this part of his property often, it would make more sense for him to make a road on his own property. You could say that your husband wants to put a chain across the driveway but that you consider that to be a very unfriendly way to send a message. At least this way he knows that if he doesn't park on his own property, he will soon find a chain across your driveway.
     
  7. moonwolf

    moonwolf Well-Known Member

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    The only other thing to consider is what would happen if your neighbor parking on your driveway and something damaged his vehicle and liability about that. You might just bring up that point for your neighbor to consider.
    Otherwise, it's difficult to retract permission to park one you gave permission, unless you explained the terms of 'how often', etc?
     
  8. MarleneS

    MarleneS Well-Known Member

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    Ditto on the advise to just tell your neigbor the truth -- you and your husband really love your privacy and that you thought his parking was going to be one time thing. If you can't get up the nerve to do that -- write him a note and leave it on his windshield.

    If words fail you -- make a copy of this thread and leave that one his windshield.

    Put a chain across your driveway and you'll likely make an enemy for life.

    Hugs
    Marlene
     
  9. Rick

    Rick Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I like the idea of a gravel turn around. I would advise against leaving a note on the car- you should just let him know how you feel, unless you can set up a turn around.


     
  10. fordy

    fordy Well-Known Member

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    .........This , IS the best advise you've received TOO your question . Just remember , there will be Times , in the Furure , that you and your DH are going to need a favor\help from a friendly Neighbor . An ounce of Kindness that you extend to your neighbor , can result in a TON of help from him when you're in a real Bind . Tell your shortsided DH to just "get over" his problem and focus on life's challenges . fordy... :)
     
  11. thebeav

    thebeav Well-Known Member

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    If it were me, I'd meet him out there in the morning with a gun. Go hunting and make a new friend.
     
  12. gilberte

    gilberte Well-Known Member Supporter

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    The man was courteous enough to ask your permission and you gave it. Doesn't sound like he is abusing it by littering, coming too early and making a racket, extending the permission to others, etc. Be a good neighbor and grit your teeth for the remainder of the hunting season. You and your husband might even meet him when he comes out of the woods and invite him in for coffee. BE NEIGHBORLY! It is more likely to pay off in the end :)
     
  13. Mike in Ohio

    Mike in Ohio Well-Known Member

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    I didn't notice how long your drive is. Is there a spot he could pull off to the side where you still have your privacy and he still has access? Discuss it with him. Sounds like he did the right thing by asking.

    Mike
     
  14. woodspirit

    woodspirit Well-Known Member

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    If he's wearing camo then you won't even see him.
    My advice is get a new husband.
     
  15. Paranoid

    Paranoid Homebrewed Happiness

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    thebeav has it right, get your gun and go make a friend.
     
  16. misanthrope747

    misanthrope747 Member

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    If his car is there, how is that hurting your privacy? It doesn't seem that he is sitting in it and watching your house. He could just as easily park along side the public road in front of your property or just next to it and you'd still be out your privacy as much as your are now. Letting him park there is the neighborly thing to do.

    m747
     
  17. sisterpine

    sisterpine Goshen Farm Supporter

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    i agree that having a car parked on your property with your permission while the driver is off hunting on his own property and not sitting there on the hood with binocs staring in your windows is not a privacy problem. personally i would tell my husband to quit whining cause hunting season is a brief couple/few weeks this fall and then he will be all alone again just as he likes. good neighbors are SO hard to come buy that they should be treasured and nurtured a bit!
     
  18. Ross

    Ross Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    I think you did the right thing to allow him to park but if its causing trouble in your house tell him for goodness sake and I expect he'll do the right thing too. I do truely think that to have a good neighbor you must be a good neighbor so get your husband to read these and give it a little more thought.
     
  19. Mike in Ohio

    Mike in Ohio Well-Known Member

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    I think folks are making a big leap in assuming that the neighbor is only hunting deer during gun season. If he bow hunts, primitive hunts, hunts Turkey or upland game, traps, etc, he might be there quite a bit. Some animals in Ohio are pretty much open year round (Coyote or woodchucks for example).

    I think what luckysranch is saying is that it isn't the car being parked there but the not knowing when the neighbor will be around. If he is parking by their house I can understand that.

    The best thing is to have a friendly discussion with the neighbor. With 200 acres surrounded by 1500 acres I'm sure there's a way to accomodate privacy as well as the nieghbor...at least for the time being. If luckysranch and her husband have given it a try and explain to the neighbor that it really disturbs their privacy then I would hope he would understand and respect their feelings.

    As usual, just my 2 cents.

    Mike
     
  20. 3girls

    3girls Well-Known Member

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    Before doing anything, read the many threads about bad neighbors. I don't think you have much of a problem.