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I have gone beyond the point of compromise, I think. Got a plaque on the mantel, says,"Mi casa es Mi casa". When I think of getting into a relationship, I think about the ones I have been in, and, that is all it takes. Would like one, not willing to lose what I have managed to keep.
LOL I just have to laugh because this is EXACTLY what I do! Someone asks me out and I think, "hey, maybe......"
Then that still, soft voice whispers, "remember when.......?" And I'm like oh yeah, never mind....馃槀
 

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I realize most of these posts are from 2 months ago, but I'm throwing in on the subject anyway.
I got divorced in 2019. I left in March and scooted on into the wilds of the Missouri Ozarks to get away from ALL men for a time. Well wouldn't ya know it? A single man lived down the road! Being what my young adult children call "thirsty", he and I began a friendship that turned into a relationship. Come to find out being needy is a horrible way to find a partner and a mate. Turns out he was married. The wife was back up North. They were separated..... yada yada yada....tale as old as time.
I gave up my cabin and land to go in on a bigger piece of land with him so we could blend our homesteads. He supposedly gave up his place as well. About 4 months in, I get hurt at work. I had the full time pay for everything job and he had a handyman job. So he realizes he's gonna have to get a real job to pay for everything I was paying for. 2 1/2 months later I find out several things.....1. he's got another woman or two. 2. he hasn't been paying the land payment cuz it was in my name. and 3. he never gave up his place, just let me think he did.
So now I'm sitting in a travel trailer in the West Texas heat trying to start all over again. I'll be 51 next month so I've got time, but I haven't even looked cross eyed at a man in months and months. I run into men at the grocery store, the hardware store, walmart (when I absolutely have to go there) and the truck stop gas stations. There are more men here than I can shake a stick at! Oilfield and all... I did meet a man that I thought I might go out with and gave him my number. But then I remember what it was like last time and thought twice. He calls and texts me, but he's getting no milk out of this cow.
Moral of this long and probably boring story is Don't pick the first one outta the gate! Live your life and in the living if you come across one that's living the same way and is HONEST, give friendship a chance. Friends are great about helping out and being there for ya. They also like to pick mushrooms, if you meet the right friend!
Once you know you can be friends, work well together, and pick mushrooms, then maybe you can take it on inside and see if it translates to something else. Otherwise, just be happy being single. There's no one around to tell you what to do, when to do it, or how to do it. It's absolutely liberating! (although now I'm at a point where I would probably give someone a shot at friendship. I could use some help pounding these T posts!) LOL
You know.... not so very long ago I had an interesting experience with a guy I was interested in. He isn't really local but doesn't live all that far away. Like totally in driving/day trip distance. He asked me, and I started kinda seeing him for awhile. Anyway... he never wanted me coming to his house, or meeting his kids, never was into sharing his personal life with me, it was kind of strange. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for about a year, but I just couldn't get past the red flags there. Few months back I caught him in a lie over something completely stupid that shouldn't have mattered and decided then and there he had used up all of his benefit of the doubt. I don't know what he was hiding, and I don't care, but I didn't want anything to do with a weird situation like that.

Thank you for sharing your story with us, and for reaffirming for me that I made the right decision to forget about that guy.
 

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At least you were smart. Mine was throwing up all kinds of red flags and I charged right at 'em like a bull at a bullfight! LOL
I may be a hard learner, but I wont make that particular mistake again.
Good for you though. If they lie about the little things...well you never know what else they're hiding. And always, always, always trust your gut!
 

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At least you were smart. Mine was throwing up all kinds of red flags and I charged right at 'em like a bull at a bullfight! LOL
I may be a hard learner, but I wont make that particular mistake again.
Good for you though. If they lie about the little things...well you never know what else they're hiding. And always, always, always trust your gut!
I really feel like he was hiding something and it was a feeling I couldn't shake. I don't think I would have ever been able to truly trust the guy if it came down to it. Granted, I probably wouldn't be able to trust most other people anyway.

I'm grateful you got out of your situation before it became any worse, though!
 

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I've been burned so many times I cant count. It's hard to find a way to trust again, especially these days. But I've learned 2 very important things. 1.Trust your gut (which you did so well done!) And 2.Dont get bitter.
Just because I made the mistake of picking every loser that came my way doesnt mean there weren't some good ones I didnt even notice....lol
I do love hearing from women and men who trusted their instincts and either got out or went all the way in. Have never heard of it turning out bad either way when they did!
 

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at least you have a good attitude about it all. some people would give up altogether .you'll do fine. my first husband told me not to ever give up my land. at least i would always have that to come back to and i still have it.

i've never lost out though . in my travels with men i've only acquired more.(that doesn't sound quite right but you know what i mean) i've been lucky that way. my friends not so much. i lost a good friend to suicide for practically the same as happened to you. all the best, ~Georgia
 

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at least you have a good attitude about it all. some people would give up altogether .you'll do fine. my first husband told me not to ever give up my land. at least i would always have that to come back to and i still have it.

i've never lost out though . in my travels with men i've only acquired more.(that doesn't sound quite right but you know what i mean) i've been lucky that way. my friends not so much. i lost a good friend to suicide for practically the same as happened to you. all the best, ~Georgia
Georgia,
I'm so sorry about your friend. That makes my heart sad.
I guess I've never given up because I have my daughter. My 4 sons are grown and gone, but my daughter is high functioning special needs. She'll always be with me and really has no where else to go. She's kept me going.
And she has physically saved my life not once, but twice when an ex got extremely violent.
If I didnt know any better, I'd think she was my guardian angel.
 

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I have a widow lady friend at church that started meeting a man friend for lunch at a halfway location. They live 90 miles apart and neither like to drive at night. One of her friends she was visiting with at a wedding introduced them. They talk on the phone for hours several times a week. Well he had a friend that was going to direct him to her home and she invited me to go and have brunch with them.

Now we are planning our third lunch date. We have so much fun talking and enjoying a meal together. My friend is around 75 and her man friend is 86. I am 71 and my man friend is 75. Because of the holidays and covid we don't meet that often but it gives us something to look forward to. We also text and talk on the phone.
 

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I have a widow lady friend at church that started meeting a man friend for lunch at a halfway location. They live 90 miles apart and neither like to drive at night. One of her friends she was visiting with at a wedding introduced them. They talk on the phone for hours several times a week. Well he had a friend that was going to direct him to her home and she invited me to go and have brunch with them.

Now we are planning our third lunch date. We have so much fun talking and enjoying a meal together. My friend is around 75 and her man friend is 86. I am 71 and my man friend is 75. Because of the holidays and covid we don't meet that often but it gives us something to look forward to. We also text and talk on the phone.
That's great! And sounds like a lot of fun!
 

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Posted 12/7/20 12:15 AM CST

The longest distance dating I did was a distance of about 750 miles with a woman who was our prime contractor contact . When we took it to the next level, when she came to my plant, she stayed at my apartment and when I had to go to her plant, I stayed at her apartment . For the most part of 2 to 3 years we were both at one or the other facility together but working on multiple contracts with only one that we were both assigned to. As we weren't together all the time at work and home so it worked.

Sometimes she flew on her employer's dime as we moved back and forth and sometimes she rode with me as I always drove to have my own truck and preferred driving for 12 hours instead of the hassles of flying commercial.

It worked until I was sent on a 15 month out of country on site support TDY and she said it was too long for her to wait for me to be rotated home.
 
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