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I have been separated from my wife for more than a year now, and we finally agreed to divorce. She has a number of mental illnesses, and I tried to stick around and be there for her, but she is just too far gone now. Her bipolar disorder is out of control, even on meds. To be honest, my life was a living hell for the last year and I actually felt a bit of relief when she asked me to divorce her. Maybe I am old fashioned but I believe one should do whatever it takes to make a marriage work and stand by their wife even through the worst of times. But that is hard to do when she doesn't want to stand next to me...

So now that we have agreed to part ways amicably, I find myself wondering how the heck do I start over? I have been married the majority of my life so haven't been involved in the dating scene for a long time. I am not a young man any longer and finding a woman that shares my same dreams seems difficult. We had plans to start a homestead and live a more simple stress free life and be self-sufficient. Now that she is out of the picture, I still want to pursue that dream. My retirement is coming in a few months, and I am not even sure how to meet another woman. I am not looking to date anyone just yet, I am not interested in doing that until my divorce is final. Just a matter of principle.

But I like to plan ahead and if anyone can offer advice, I would be very appreciative. It doesn't look like these single boards are very active, and I am really unsure of internet dating sites. I am not a sociable person, I don't get out much since I am an introvert, so meeting new people is not my strong point. And besides, I have yet to meet anyone that shares my interests in homesteading. When I mention picking wild mushrooms or being self-sufficient, I get looked at like I am an odd-ball. Maybe I am an odd-ball. Surely there is an odd-ball woman out there for me. Just not bipolar odd-ball, I had my fill of that.
 

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Many single folks who live in my area do like soldiers have done when stationed in a new stateside base and attend the local church service and activities to meet other singles.
 

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But that involves being around a bunch of people and socializing! I was hoping that my dream girl would just show up at my door one day without me having to go looking. But I guess this is reality and it doesn't work that way. Man, I am already getting stressed out and apprehensive about looking and I am not even looking yet.
 

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Don't look. Work on a friendship with another guy that can drag you out with him on outings. You can check out senior centers without really being a part of the center. Talk to people in the fresh produce or pet food aisles.

I met my husband when he came to my house to fix something I messed up. He's gone now but that chance meeting at a time that I was enjoying my singleness was serendipity.
 

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I think its kind of like fishing. Tired, hot, and ready to call it a day. Just one more toss over in that very unlikely spot before you go......Then it gets interesting and hard to hold on to the reel.

:)

Unfortunately no useful idea from this corner.
 

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I have been separated from my wife for more than a year now, and we finally agreed to divorce. She has a number of mental illnesses, and I tried to stick around and be there for her, but she is just too far gone now. Her bipolar disorder is out of control, even on meds. To be honest, my life was a living hell for the last year and I actually felt a bit of relief when she asked me to divorce her. Maybe I am old fashioned but I believe one should do whatever it takes to make a marriage work and stand by their wife even through the worst of times. But that is hard to do when she doesn't want to stand next to me...

So now that we have agreed to part ways amicably, I find myself wondering how the heck do I start over? I have been married the majority of my life so haven't been involved in the dating scene for a long time. I am not a young man any longer and finding a woman that shares my same dreams seems difficult. We had plans to start a homestead and live a more simple stress free life and be self-sufficient. Now that she is out of the picture, I still want to pursue that dream. My retirement is coming in a few months, and I am not even sure how to meet another woman. I am not looking to date anyone just yet, I am not interested in doing that until my divorce is final. Just a matter of principle.

But I like to plan ahead and if anyone can offer advice, I would be very appreciative. It doesn't look like these single boards are very active, and I am really unsure of internet dating sites. I am not a sociable person, I don't get out much since I am an introvert, so meeting new people is not my strong point. And besides, I have yet to meet anyone that shares my interests in homesteading. When I mention picking wild mushrooms or being self-sufficient, I get looked at like I am an odd-ball. Maybe I am an odd-ball. Surely there is an odd-ball woman out there for me. Just not bipolar odd-ball, I had my fill of that.
Number one. Wait until you have your Place where you will be living. A lot of city women will say Oh i love to live in the country. After they get married they will want you to sell and move into the city. When you move to your new place in the country start doing the things you enjoy doing. Hunting, Fishing, Raising Pigs etc. When you are settled then you can start looking for a lady. Church, Dance, Movies, travel, etc. Do what you enjoy most. Pick a lady that likes to do what you do.
When i first started looking when young my wife said i love to fish and she would go fishing with me all the time. After we were married no more fishing for her. She said i hate fishing :) Anyway she loved to travel and visit her kinfolks and movies. So it did work out after the 1st child came there was no way but to stay married. :) She was a school teacher till we got married. I talked her into staying home and taking care of the kids we had and to do the housework and cooking. She did not know how to cook so i helped with that until she learned to be a very good cook. After all the kids were grown and in college she went back to teaching at the college. Worked out great.
If you just want to stay home and not go anywhere thats ok also. There are a lot of women that prefer staying home most of the time. Going on-line is not a good way to find a mate.
 

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Going on-line is not a good way to find a mate.

+++
Maybe not for most people.. Coincidentally, Sweetie and I were known to one another from another homesteading forum for 10 years or so while we were both single again. We started communicating about some common interests and it progressed from there.. ..

Never say never, but it is wise to be EXTRA cautious..
 

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Since you've apparently been married for a long time...don't try to find someone. First find yourself, know what you alone like because that has changed over the years. You've had people sharing your life. Go it yourself for a bit, let yourself develop into what YOU like. May take a few weeks, months, or years, but it's worth it.

And to cheer yourself up, remember...the older you get, the more single women will be vying for your attention!

Mon
 

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Since you've apparently been married for a long time...don't try to find someone. First find yourself, know what you alone like because that has changed over the years. You've had people sharing your life. Go it yourself for a bit, let yourself develop into what YOU like. May take a few weeks, months, or years, but it's worth it.
Yep. I am learning this, myself. I spent so many years trying to fashion myself into what my ex wanted me to be that I completely lost sight of who I am! It takes a while to learn how to like yourself in your own skin.

And to cheer yourself up, remember...the older you get, the more single women will be vying for your attention!

Mon
:oops::unsure::LOL:
 

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But that involves being around a bunch of people and socializing! I was hoping that my dream girl would just show up at my door one day without me having to go looking.
Mail order brides! If you have the money, you pretty much have your pick of the lot.
 

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Those in the know say "no" to dating for at least one year....You need to know your new self, to become comfortable with yourself and become self reliant.
To even entertain the thought of dating, right after a divorce, even after a long separation, smacks of being needy. Do you really need someone to complete yourself?
 

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I do get it. Being that I have been married for most of my life and suddenly found myself alone for the past year, I guess I am feeling needy. That's why I asked for advice and I am glad I did. From what I have read, from more than one person, I need to work on me first. I will go ahead with my plans and do my own thing and not worry about having a woman in my life right now. Thank you everyone for your input.
 

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Something else you might consider, even when older folks are looking more for companionship than romance; ignoring divorce rates for a moment, young couples tend to blend easier as they don't have the history and the experiences, nor the knowledge yet. Once both males and females have hit their 30s, they have a routine and habits established. They know more about their likes and their dislikes.
If a single or widowed person understands that going in, it can lessen some of the frustration with trying to a suitable partner and identifying those who might not be ready or willing for a caring, sharing partnership.
 

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What everyone said about taking time for you is spot on. I was single for 20 years before I met my second husband. Even refused to marry him for five years until I was certain I could give up my autonomy. We got 30 years together in the end. Heck, you might find you'd rather keep your independence in the end. I know I will be.

I was in the garage working on something listening to the radio when an advertisement came on about a sort of shindig thing. That is another decent way to meet people, going to the different events that happen. Whether it's farm day or pioneer day or arts day. They are so much more laid back and strangers start talking to strangers just because.
 

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Fictionprison,

The main thing about attending a church or just talking with friends you would normally visit in person in the real world is to let them know you are now available but not desperarate and avoid internet dating sites or "mail order brides" because if you do possibly find a interested woman, you could possibly get a date with a gal with a handle bar mustache expecting you to pay the cost of mustache wax. LOL

The best way to pursue a date is to simply socialize as best you can while as others have said , as you do your thing and get your lifestyle together.

If along the way a dating opportunity presents itself take a chance.

If a dating potential presents itself and you notice an Adam's Apple, keep in mind that over the past few years gender identification and attitudes have changed and in many cases become more ambiguous and you will have to consider that and how it fits your preferences .

The one thing I learned is that when dating , my best dates seemed to show up when those in my pack knew I was available and steered me towards some when I wasn't actually actively hunting for a date.

When 35 years after my first GF's parents split us up and my parents liked the split and pushed me to my college years and career, she heard from one of my friends who lived beside her after she had moved back to the area here where we grew up after her third marriage ended that after two marriages, I was single again also and she called me.

We have been dating ever since and I have my little place here in the country and she has her folks old place in the town 8 miles away and we are one of the "two homes / one relationship sector" and it works for us.

Sometimes she spends the night here and sometimes I spend the night at her place and sometimes we spend a few hours together before one of us goes home and we both care for our dogs in our own homes and private space.

Like I said, when she called me I wasn't looking and when we started dating again, she wasn't interested in marriage and with both of our attitudes, although both of us nearing our 60s, our senior years steady dating suits us both.

As has been said, find yourself but also let those you know you are available and see what comes along. Most of all keep yourself safe in this now topsy turvy world we find ourselves in.
 

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I have been separated from my wife for more than a year now, and we finally agreed to divorce. She has a number of mental illnesses, and I tried to stick around and be there for her, but she is just too far gone now. Her bipolar disorder is out of control, even on meds. To be honest, my life was a living hell for the last year and I actually felt a bit of relief when she asked me to divorce her. Maybe I am old fashioned but I believe one should do whatever it takes to make a marriage work and stand by their wife even through the worst of times. But that is hard to do when she doesn't want to stand next to me...

So now that we have agreed to part ways amicably, I find myself wondering how the heck do I start over? I have been married the majority of my life so haven't been involved in the dating scene for a long time. I am not a young man any longer and finding a woman that shares my same dreams seems difficult. We had plans to start a homestead and live a more simple stress free life and be self-sufficient. Now that she is out of the picture, I still want to pursue that dream. My retirement is coming in a few months, and I am not even sure how to meet another woman. I am not looking to date anyone just yet, I am not interested in doing that until my divorce is final. Just a matter of principle.

But I like to plan ahead and if anyone can offer advice, I would be very appreciative. It doesn't look like these single boards are very active, and I am really unsure of internet dating sites. I am not a sociable person, I don't get out much since I am an introvert, so meeting new people is not my strong point. And besides, I have yet to meet anyone that shares my interests in homesteading. When I mention picking wild mushrooms or being self-sufficient, I get looked at like I am an odd-ball. Maybe I am an odd-ball. Surely there is an odd-ball woman out there for me. Just not bipolar odd-ball, I had my fill of that.
You had me at "I pick mushrooms". LOL!!

Seriously. I don't know. I think the youngsters do some kind of internet dating websites. I'm steadfastly against the idea so I just kind of try to not worry about it. Been divorced for 6 years and haven't really found anything I would consider worthwhile yet.
 

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not much to tell right now . we were all standing in line keeping our distance but once a newfoundlander opens their mouth another one knows immediately even with a mask.

we had lots to talk about. he gave me his no. and i gave him mine when we found out we were both single. he has a bubble and i have a bubble but not the same bubble. ns is the most strict province i believe. we have no cases now as far as i know ~Georgia
 
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