How rude!!!

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by vonettrich, Jan 17, 2007.

  1. vonettrich

    vonettrich Well-Known Member

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    I started a new job three weeks ago. My husband baked 2 apple/cherry/almond strudels to take to the office to share with my new co-workers. I encouraged everyone to come to my office for some strudel and all my co-workers stopped by. Later in the afternoon, the head of the legal section came in and said, "I heard you have strudel in here." I said, "Yes, I do, please help yourself." Then he said, "When I heard there was strudel, I thought of goose-stepping stormtroopers." There were several people in my office and they looked shocked at the comment. I handed the boss a plate with a piece of strudel and said, "Have I ever mentioned that my mother-in-law was a Holocaust survivor? She was the one who taught my husband how to make this strudel. I hope you enjoy it." The boss laughed it off and left with his strudel. What an idiot.
     
  2. sisterpine

    sisterpine Goshen Farm Supporter

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    ok i am missing something here or perhaps you are over sensitive. my grandparents are also holocaust survivor and i am not finding anything horrid with what he said. many folks relate goose stepping to the german army because that is what they did. also the german army is/was not the same thing as the nazi army. My grandfather fought with the german army but then when hitler did his thing he was put in treblinka. just my own opinion of course, sis
     

  3. SunsetSonata

    SunsetSonata Broken Dreamer Supporter

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    WOW if I hear there's strudel for the taking I think yummy, may I have some? Weird that anyone would think of goosesteppers!

    Bet your boss has a history of making off-the-wall comments, and you have just been initiated! Pity him for being socially awkward, I doubt he meant to be offensive.
     
  4. hoofinitnorth

    hoofinitnorth Well-Known Member

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    I see your point but my first thought relative to his comment as you described it was of The Sound of Music.
     
  5. gccrook

    gccrook Well-Known Member

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    Everybody today is oversensitive about something. This is the reason that some of us don't want to talk to anyone any more. Everyone just assumes that everyone else knows about their sensitivity, and somehow we're supposed to never say anything that someone somewhere might find the least little bit offensive, so we just say nothing. Everybody in this country needs to lighten up a bunch and quit letting people's words get them all in a bunch.
     
  6. kitty32_z8

    kitty32_z8 Well-Known Member

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    Ok. Call me stupid. I have never heeard that term 'saying'. What does it mean?
    Maybe at another time you could let him know when you 2 are alone that you maybe didnt understand by what he meant and could he explain. He could have 'meant' something harmless and not known 'what' he said due to lack of social skills. I am one that has been known for opening my mouth meaning one thing and saying another. Luckily that has subsided with age and CLOSE observation of my mouth!
     
  7. Jillis

    Jillis Well-Known Member

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    The man is socially inept. He may have thought of goose-stepping stormtroopers, but to say so was rude, IMO.

    I wouldn't take it to heart, but I would put this guy on my "take with a grain of salt, consider the source" list. Expect him to say offensive things, but don't take offense.

    That was a very off-the-wall thing to say.

    When I hear the word "strudel" I think of delicious pastry.
     
  8. vonettrich

    vonettrich Well-Known Member

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    People might merely associate goose-stepping with the German army because "thats what they did," but Stormtroopers?? Pure Nazi. And no, I don't think I was being too sensitive when I was offended by the remark. My MIL, who passed away two years ago, survived the Holocaust and spent the rest of her life dealing with nightmares from her experiences with those "goose-stepping stormtroopers." No-one in her town in upstate New York even knew she was Jewish because she was afraid to tell anyone. She always said that you never knew when the world would go crazy again and people like her would be carted away. I used to try to tell her something like that would never happen in the US, but she would say, "And that's what we thought in Vienna, such a cultured, civilized city...."
     
  9. MorrisonCorner

    MorrisonCorner Mansfield, VT for 200 yrs

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    I'm going to come down on the side of vonettrich here... I think the remark was... inappropriate. That said, could it be that the man is Jewish himself and overly sensitive to "german" things because of his upbringing?

    Either way, I'd consider myself informed that this person blurts out inappropriate things rather thoughtlessly.
     
  10. the mama

    the mama loves all critters Supporter

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    Stormtroopers make me think of Star Wars. You know those guys in white plastic armor. My family is from Hungry and I lost a cousin to the camps. I would not have taken offense.
     
  11. JJ Grandits

    JJ Grandits Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean. My Grandmother was Austrian and when she made strudel people would make comments about Mozart. Really toasted my cookies.
     
  12. DAVID In Wisconsin

    DAVID In Wisconsin Well-Known Member

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    I wish that my biggest problem in life was being offended by something someone else said............
     
  13. ceresone

    ceresone Well-Known Member Supporter

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    She saw her MIL haunted every day of her life by the horrors she went thru, never spending a dream-free, secure day the rest of her life--somethings the rest of us cant imagine-no- i dont think she was being too sensitive.
     
  14. sullen

    sullen Question Answerer

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    I am sure he is beating himself up over saying that more than you could imagine. Watch him not look you in the eye for a month.
     
  15. MarleneS

    MarleneS Well-Known Member

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    You know how personal/racial/national/political slurs are perpetuated? By people saying them, and the worst response they ever get is someone looking uncomfortable.

    I think vonettrich handled it well. In all likelihood, the guy is not comfortable meeting new people, and he was just trying to break the ice by sharing what hearing about the pastry made him think. But Vonettrich was not wrong in letting him know that it always reminded her and her family about a very special person.

    If someone says something in your presents that offends you let them know, in a kind thoughtful manner. Do not cause a scene, and do not embrasser the offender - after all that is also offensive :)

    Hugs
    marlene
     
  16. hisenthlay

    hisenthlay a.k.a. hyzenthlay

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    vonettrich--I know what you mean, and I think the comment was inappropriate, and that your reply was on point, but I also wondered whether the guy was Jewish. I have a German last name, and I took German in college, and I frequently have Jewish friends giving me a hard time about things like that. Or if I say something like, "I'd like to visit Austria sometime," they wrinkle their nose and say, "oh, I'd never want to go there, it would just remind me of Nazis. I guess it would be ok for you, since you're German." Ok, I get it, I do have great sympathy for them, and they're some of my oldest and dearest friends, but I feel like it comes up a bit too often. None of my family was even in Germany or Austria in WWII--my granddad fought for the US. I guess it's still just a really raw thing, and maybe he thought with your last name that you were a non-Jewish German. Even so, he really didn't need to bring it up as you were kindly offering him some of your homemade dessert. It was inapproriate, but whether it was rude or just a bit daft, I couldn't say.
     
  17. Maura

    Maura Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I think you handled it very well. You put him in his place, then offered him dessert. I'm sure he was just trying to break the ice, as others said, but he doesn't quite know how to do it. Give him a free pass on this one.
     
  18. Auric

    Auric Registered Doofus

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    Gott sei dank dass du nicht ein SturmTrupper bist, nicht war?!
    Egal ob man Jude, Deutsche, or etwas anders ist, ich finde sein commentar als einfach kommisch.

    Luckily you're not a storm trooper, right?! I don't think it matters if you're jewish, german, or whatever, his comment was simply strange.
     
  19. FiddleKat

    FiddleKat Mother,Artist, Author Supporter

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    I think the Holocaust is still a very sensitive subject to some people. Just as many other things are.

    I agree with, um whoever said it, that your boss probably is just socially awkward and sometimes people say things without really thinking before they say it so it comes out sounding like something that wasn't thought about.
     
  20. Sharon in NY

    Sharon in NY Well-Known Member

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    Ok, yes, the Holocaust is a sensitive subject, but - *freakin strudel* reminds him of stormtroopers? Pastry. I think the comment was a. inappropriate (imagine "when I think of watermelon I think of overseers with whips.") and b. really, really stupid.

    I think you handled it well. The guy is an idiot. Would you consider posting the recipe for the evil strudel :)

    Sharon