When I was in university, the department secretary used to badger me about "When are you going to have kids??" I finally shut her up by telling her I had four every spring and liked them best barbecued.
Been near to or on the land since 1966. No kids other than goat kids!
I think that those of us who never were able to have kids have unique situations. Do you?
I'm learning from my dh how to be a "part time farm wife" as he calls me!! LOL!! Years ago, before I met him, he was a "live off the land" kind of guy. Built a dome, was a beekeeper, was a vegetarian etc. Even got his degree in Ag Engineering. So, I'm slowly learning this process from him.
I was a city girl (NY/NJ area) but now live like no one would believe back east! Chicken farmer, dog/cat/hen owner. Living by the saying, "Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without". Even make handcrafted soap. PLUS a full time job in the city. (which I wish I did not need)
Well, gosh, you struck a nerve there. Even my bride thinks I'm 100% looney tunes about living on the farm. My bride was the farm veterinarian and manager of a 1200 sow breeding farm when I found her in the Philippines. She raised 14,000 pigs a year. Now she doesn't even want to see one and will barely eat them.
Wish I could turn her into a "part time farm wife", but she got a taste for the big ****ty and its all over for me about that issue. But she still has a LOT of trouble trying to pry me off of this homestead. I made clear to her that the homestead was VERY important to me, but for no reason I can figure she loves me anyway.
Me, I'm more or less retired. When I feel the urge (pretty rare any more) I go back to jamming windows (licensed contractor working in retrofit window installation.) But I like to talk to my trees and watch the sun come up and the moons phases. And go fishing when I can. And kill bears every chance I can!
My bride is a lot younger and still has great fantasies about "getting rich" at some point. I gave up on that a very long time ago. I'm more in tune with use it up. And figure out another cheaper way to do whatever. Been dirt poor and had times when the cash seemed endless, mostly just do what I have to to stay on the farm.
Yes, I've noticed women like that "quality time" but I've never figured it out exactly. Mostly it seems to mean do it my way and don't be a jerk, dear.
I brought my four school aged children "back-to-the-land" in the early 90's to get them out of the city and let them absorb country knowledge and gain first hand wisdom. As soon as I got my RN degree in my early 30's (I was divorced), I bought the part of the family farm that my cousin inherited and had put up for sale. I was terrified that someone else would get it before I could and that would be awefyl. Well, I bought it afterall and we left Houston for our adventure. We lived in the broken down old farm house with no a/c (Texas) and no heat but the fireplace (cozy in Texas except for a couple of bad nights...the house was not exactly air tight). We pulled water out of the shallow well with a bucket until we got electicity and got milk goats and poultry and on and on. We were living as much off the land as possible. I became disabled when I was 40 with a brain injury. The kids are all grown and gone now, college, graduated, new jobs, married...so we are alone now on the homestead. I am still here full-time. For 8 years now. I am not allowed to hold down a "real" job or drive a car. (remember, I lived in Houston for 20 years), and now I am really a crazy ol' woman in the woods. Most of our food is coming from the homestead. Periodically. It comes in waves. But back to the subject....without kids, it is different. There was joy in teaching things to the kids that I had learned on this very farm from my grandparents. But now, it is nice to have a calm and peaceful existence, finally, with just myself and my man.....and all the creatures out here. We intend to stay here till we die.
I had both of my kids after age 40 (me, not the kids!) and have always had a homestead state of mind. I can't think of a better way to raise a family, but I have already told them to forget any plans for a retirement home. I plan to enjoy the 20 acres with or without them and will only leave with a toe tag.
We moved when my children were already in their teens and it sometimes feels like I have no children. Neither has liked this new life style as much as the suburban one they left. They have however learned new things and new ways and I have learned a great deal of tolerance for them as individuals.
In my next life however, I am going straight to homesteading, homebirthing, and homeschooling right after adulthood.
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