I'm struggling issues of guilt because I do not want to be a full time babysitter for my grand kids. I know a lot of grandmothers that don't seem to mind and that makes me feel even more guilty about not wanting to. Its really hard to put family issues in one post and get to the heart of matters but I'm going to try, first i want to say I love my son and his wife and I love my grand daughters I don't want to give the impression I don't, that being said, even though we love somebody we sometimes don't like the way their attitude They both decided that she wanted to start working, of course they both have the right to make that choice in their lives, she starting job hunting and landed a job... now all of this is well and good, but.. they also decided that I was going to babysit without even asking me how I felt about it. Dil came to my house all excited telling me about her new job and talking about how I wouldn't have to watch the kids all day most days ( my son doesn't go in to work early most days) I first reaction was just stopping washing dishes and just kind of staring at her and saying this is the first Iv heard about any of this, she acted shocked and said, really? well your son was suppose to tell you.. then went on to say how happy she was and how she really needed this and some other stuff that I'm not sure about because to tell you the truth a was still a bit stunned and wasn't listening at this point.. so there I was having to make a snap decision that would really change my life.. and wondering why if she had been hunting a job for weeks she didn't even bother to ask how I felt about the whole thing. This is not a doll that I'm not close with I have known her since she was in the first grade, when she and my son has problems she comes to me before her own mother so why all of the sudden would she not talk to me about getting a job? I guess to some would think I'm being selfish but we just now are really getting into raising some animals I'm still raising my own 12 yo daughter, I run our painting company and make candles and bath products when I can and I would really like to get to a point in my life that I can do things I want while I'm still able to enjoy them and don't want to be tied down with a 2 and 3 yo. when I tried to tell them both this what i got from both of them was she really needs to be happy and this will make her happy, my answer was, well when your a parent sometimes its not about your happiness so why cant you wait till the kids start school to pursue what will make you happy, Iv been waiting 26 years to get to this point and I want to enjoy farming, making candles and bath stuff and enjoying what we worked our whole married life for, you both have only been raising a family for 3 years you might as well pace yourself. So please give me your honest opinions about keeping grand kids. Am I being selfish here?