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Lovin' my Fam
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4,459 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Hi all- just wanna throw this out there- my Grama- who is only 82- very sharp mind- has a mass on her liver- they did a biopsy- didn't work- ( I find this insane) she is now refusing more tests- there is a meeting tomorrow with my Mom and her 3 other siblings with the Dr- I think cause he wants tohave them talk her into the biopsy again- since he is 95 % sure it is cancer-

I will respect any decision she makes- she is mentally sharp ....
I just want her to be comfy and happy-

she watched my Poppop die slowly in a nursing home and she has always felt burdened by that-
long story short he had a massive stroke 30 yrs ago- left him paralyzed and unable to speak-
when he had it- the Dr gave her the option to give him a surgery to save him- ( back then there was not the fast acting things after someone had a stroke like now) she has always regretted not letting him pass peacefully- like he would have wanted and I think that this is what is causing her to say she wants nothing done- no tests no chemo - no nothing... which I understand-
she is a happy woman with her books and fancy pjs- so I just want her to be happy and comfortable-

thanks all!
 
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Country Girl
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4,306 Posts
How did the biopsy not work??? I don't blame her for not wanting to do anything about the mass. I've watched so many friends and relatives die from cancer that went thru the chemo and radiation plus surgery and have thought MANY times that they died more from the "cure" than the cancer itself. I think I would forgo treatment also and just enjoy the rest of my life as I had it.
 

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Premium Member
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My Mama feels the same way, no treatment that will make her more miserable than just dying naturally. Will keep your Gramma in our prayers. Same for you!
 

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Premium Member
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25,245 Posts
Pop's mom and dad were diagnosed with cancer within a few months of each other. His pop when the surgery, chemo, radiation route and was pronounced "cured" only to pass within 6 months. He was miserable the entire time. His mom just sat on the test results and didn't tell anyone until her dh passed. She lived a few years happily until the cancer finally started to take it's toll. But she was still able to do things she wanted to do for another year after.

IMO, when you're that old you know life's journey is coming to an end. With a cancer diagnosis you have 2 options. You can spend the time living or you can spend the time fighting. Either way, you will eventually lose the battle. Each person must come to their end on their own terms.

In some cases filling the abdomen with the gas they use in laparoscopic surgery causes cancer cells to grow out of control. Is this the case? I can't answer. But I know I wouldn't want it done again (especially at my expense) after they failed to get a biopsy the first time.

Support your grandma no matter what she wants to do. It is her body and her journey. Allow her the dignity of finishing her journey her way.
 

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Lovin' my Fam
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4,459 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
Thank you all-
I am comfortable knowing she is sharp as a tack and knows what she wants-
will I be sad? Heck yes- but- I will be proud as I know she will be doing what she wants when the time comes too-
I will be updating as I know - since she has agreed to at least get the tests to see what she will be facing-
I am not sure what she will actually do - but that is totally up to her - that much I do know and I am okay with it as long as she is comfortable
 
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