Good Neighbor 3 kids Husband left her!!!

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by old timer, Apr 12, 2005.

  1. old timer

    old timer Active Member

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    I don't know where else to post this... my neighbors husband has left her...they have 3 kids and she is now 19 weeks pregnant. She has no idea what she can do to survive. My wife and I have helped as much as we can but feeding her and the three kids is really hard on us and our 5 kids. If there is anyone out there in this wonderful forum that would like to help her plese PM me and I will give you her address. She does work and her kids stay with a neighbor... but she is breaking even with daycay and gas money..and what she makes. Her Husband left her at Christmas for his boss's wife and now he has been fired (so she has no insurance for the new baby) but now has a place with the boss's wife and does'nt help with his own kids or the bills...
    If there is any way that you can help her and the kids please PM me and I will get right back to you....
    Thanks,
    Greg
     
  2. stormwalker

    stormwalker Well-Known Member

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    Where are you? Right off the top of my head, I'm thinking -She needs to talk to social services and a lawyer. Is she in a position to trade board for childcare?Where is her family?
    Could you expand on your description of her situation?
     

  3. BamaSuzy

    BamaSuzy Well-Known Member

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    If there is a crisis pregnancy center in or near your town they might help her because of the baby on the way....

    The low-life husband needs to be forced to pay child support as well and often children's services or somebody like that will provide a lawyer for free, but that is usually a time-consuming process and they probably wouldn't do it because she WORKS....gee....that's the way a lot of governmental programs work...

    The best bet might be to also check on some faith-based programs in your area who might can help...

    And one of the main things you and your wife can do is be a true friend and not a crutch for her....let her know that things are hard now but SHE CAN MAKE IT! I was left a single parent with two small children (who are now grown and gone---my current husband married US after he found us eating spaghetti with Ketchup one night).....and she can make it on her own but it will be hard....

    Just provide her with lots of moral support and encouragement as she goes through this...wish I had money to send to her as well!
     
  4. Madame

    Madame Well-Known Member Supporter

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    1) Lawyer - divorce and child support
    2) Social services (in some places they'll pay daycare for working poor)
    3) Get her a copy of the Complete Tightwad Gazette - excellent ideas for barely scraping by)
    4) Any food banks in your area?
    5) Any churches that would be willing to give her support?
    6) Food stamps

    I'd help her if I could, but I'm not being rehired next year and am hunting for a job, so I have to be a pennypincher right now.
     
  5. She needs to immediately go to the county department of human services. They will immediately give her food stamps and will help pay her bills as well as help her sue her ex husband for child support. Providing she divorces him immediately.
     
  6. decamper

    decamper Well-Known Member

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    Have her check on a food program called WIC; a women, infant and children's program. She can get on it when pregnant and it will cover her, and children under, I think - three years old.
     
  7. cwgrl23

    cwgrl23 Chief Vegtable Grower :) Supporter

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    The WIC in my state covers children up to 5 years old. It was a God send when I was pregnate! With the cost of a gallon of milk these days, each check ended up saving my family $8-11 dollars!
     
  8. cwgrl23

    cwgrl23 Chief Vegtable Grower :) Supporter

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    The WIC in my state covers children up to 5 years old. It was a God send when I was pregnate! With the cost of a gallon of milk these days, each check ended up saving my family $8-11 dollars

    With WIC you can actually make more money and still qualify that you can with Food Stamps.
     
  9. Ozarkquilter46

    Ozarkquilter46 Well-Known Member

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    back when I was young with two babies I left my husband. Long story but the butt of it was he was a mean drunk. I left everything behind went to my folks house with the babies and our clothes. He said if I left I was going to get nothing!! He was in the military and I knew I could bet the spouse part of his pay but that it would take time to fight it in court. I went to the welfare office because my folks couldn't afford to put us up. I just went in to make a apointment but got to see someone that day. She said do you know how much he makes and I did because it was deposted in our checking account every two weeks. I told her she did somthing on the computer and said you are aloud 640 a month from him. We will cut you a check today and we will bill him. I was shocked. I told her I would rather call and tell him first and give him the chance to send it and she said if he dosn't, then just let us know. I called my husband and told them what they said and he was very very mad!! I knew he couldn't afford to send me that with what he had in bills. I didn't want to take him to the cleaners I just wanted my babies to eat. Anyway He started sending me the part of his check that he got if you are married. We were seperated for about 6 months and he said he cleaned up his act and we went back but he hadn't. His drinking landed him restricted to the barricks and he was found bound gaged and hung by the neck and was dead. I never did find out what happened but the military is very good at covering up what they don't want anyone to know. They listed it a suaside. No one can do that with there hands tied behind there back with a belt. The chaplin told me some of the details he said because what was going on wasn't right but said he would never admit to telling me. Oh did I get off track. Sorry that happened so long ago. Tell your friend to hang on there is help out there but she has to be strong and go find it.
     
  10. tallpines

    tallpines Well-Known Member

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    Because "old timer" placed this story on several different forums and because he is a relatively NEW poster-----and it seems to imply a request for cash----I guess I approach this request with CAUTION.
     
  11. caballoviejo

    caballoviejo Well-Known Member

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    I've been the friend of both the man and woman of several couples that eventually separated or got divorced. Even with the inside view you NEVER really know what's really going on. The guy here has no voice and no one knows what has transpired. Advice such as sue the guy, etc. can be worse than no advice at all.
     
  12. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    I don't recall anyone advising sueing?

    Unless you mean child support?
     
  13. marvella

    marvella Well-Known Member

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    that is so untrue. no one forces a woman to divorce her husband. she's plenty smart enough to do it herself.
     
  14. marvella

    marvella Well-Known Member

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    yeah, this stuff seems to run through here in cycles. where do they get the idea that this board is a place to solicit donations?
     
  15. hollym

    hollym Well-Known Member

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    When I was left with three kids and a five month old baby and no job, I opened a home day care. It was hard work, but it did good things for me. I didn't have to wean my youngest, I got to stay with kids that were shell shocked and really needed me, I was able to lift my head up and be proud that yes I COULD take care of my family, and it forced me to at least pretend to be cheerful all day long.

    The Attorney General in Texas will enforce child support and it doesn't cost money, although I've heard that it can take a while. I've also been told that they way don't mess around. You might tell your neighbor to check up on that.

    hollym
     
  16. OrganicGuy

    OrganicGuy Active Member

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    she can go apply for welfare but if its anything like California it doesent matter if shes pregnant and homeless they will make you wait close to 30 days before any food stamps are relinquished. I am not in a position to help, but will pray that it works out for her.
     
  17. old timer

    old timer Active Member

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    I am getting just what I wanted... advice and guidence from people who have been through what she is going through.......

    So to think that is not fair to me or her... Like I said...I didn't know where to post this........
     
  18. MaKettle

    MaKettle Well-Known Member

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    I agree. It does sound like a solicitation. Bad. Had a friend who finally got fed up and threw hubby out. Discovered there was but 50 cents in her purse. She had no car, 3 little kids, a cat, the house, and the big yard. It does take a good month to get on food stamps, etc., esp if you are new to the system. She got help through family, friends, and church. Food stamps do not provide funds for cat food, kitty litter, or toilet paper. She spaded up the back yard and had a garden, baby sat for the neighbors to barter goods, discovered the library, learned to stand up for herself, lost 40 pounds, and found she was eligible for a grant through the local commumity college. An absolutely horrible way to acquire self-sufficiency and independence, but some people can do it. So, as the previous posts suggest, get into the system and get all the help possible, and help with planning what to do and how to do it.
     
  19. caballoviejo

    caballoviejo Well-Known Member

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    I mean involving the legal system. I count 4 or five that suggested getting the courts involved or getting a lawyer.
     
  20. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    Yes. Most people think of lawyers when they think of child support.

    *If* he is not paying child support, he needs to be. It would be better if he just pays it, of course, but I did not get the impression that that was happening.

    If he *IS* paying it, then of course there is no need for a lawyer unless she is in the proocess of divorcing him. I have not heard that he has done anything wrong other than having an affair with his boss's wife, and that is not a matter for the law.