Gonna fly and Im scared....

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by suzfromWi, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. suzfromWi

    suzfromWi Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Well Ive been trying to leave my safe world abit and grow, but now Im scared. My DD and I are to fly to Nashville from Milwaukee on the 27th of April. Were going to see her DD dance in Swan Lake. Ive never flown except a small sea plane when I was a child. I cant stop obsessing about it. I think about it all night long when Im trying to sleep. My logical mind knows its safer then driving but my weaker mind says HELPPPPPPPP....This is something I have to do for my growth and the pleasure of seeing GD dance again. But it,s also about being there with My oldest DD that still has issues with me. How can I get okay with this so I can sleep again? April is a long way off......... :help:
     
  2. moopups

    moopups In Remembrance

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    Flying is statistically safer than other forms of transportation, the only discomfort you could recieve is the ear pressure changes - cured by stretched jaw movement. Yes, you feel the angle changes once up into the air but such only last a small group of seconds.

    In a large aircraft, once it up and away is stable, smooth, and comfortable, the worst part of flying is the initial turn that is made at take off, the rest is very smooth. Even the landings are uneventful.
     

  3. AngieM2

    AngieM2 Big Front Porch advocate

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    Susie - can you justify driving, costs? Etc?

    Now I love flying, just don't care for airports anymore.

    What are you thinking of that bothers you about flying? Maybe if it's how they stay up, the turbulance that is sometimes felt, the closeness of the seats? Maybe we can help you figure out how to mentally address those issues.

    Angie
     
  4. Auric

    Auric Registered Doofus

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    Well, as someone who's flown quite a lot, the airports are the scariest part of the whole thing. Luckily General Mitchell is a small airport, with no 1/2 mile run from one end of the terminal to the other. Getting on the plane and sitting down is when I can finally relax. Just remeber the individuals piloting the craft have every bit of the same interest as you do in arriving alive. Remind yourself that they wouldn't take-off unless they knew how to bring 'er down safely.

    Oh, and try to forget that the airport calls the passenger boarding station "the terminal"!
     
  5. suzfromWi

    suzfromWi Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Its the fear of crashing, plain and simple. If it goes down its a huge metal missile and its all over but the cryin.....My DD knows airports so that doesnt scare me...I wish I still drank! No not really......
     
  6. DonnaKay

    DonnaKay Well-Known Member

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    suz,

    I have to fly often, if I want to see family. We are overseas with the Military so it's fly or don't see anyone. I still get a little nervous each time. This may sound over simplistic but my philosophy is this...when it's your time to go it's your time to go. If it's my time it's not going to matter if I'm on a plane over the Atlantic or if I'm eating a hot dog at a picnic. Personally I'd rather die doing something I love or reaching out to those I love than choke on a hot dog. So now when I'm afraid of something I just say...Well it's better than choking on a hot dog...

    donna
     
  7. newatthis

    newatthis Well-Known Member

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    My nephew-in-law (married my niece) and his dad our pilots and when I fly I just think that they are my pilots keeping me safe. (so far the 4 times I have flown they haven't been.)
    Do you have a head set you could take so you can listen to music and close your eyes and relax?
     
  8. suzfromWi

    suzfromWi Well-Known Member Supporter

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    yes, I thought of the headphone thing. I love music and it Does calm me....
     
  9. trixiwick

    trixiwick bunny slave

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    This is good. Also, don't know if you're a stitcher or anything similar, but I usually bring a cross-stitch piece on board with me, and it makes even long flights go by quickly (yes, you are allowed to carry on a SMALL scissors at this time).

    Keep in mind that pilots are very, very highly trained professionals, and that crashes are VERY rare.

    I disagree with the suggestion of avoiding the flight. Courage is a useful thing to cultivate, and it's not cultivated by avoidance of all that is scary.

    Good luck, and enjoy your trip and the dance performance!
     
  10. Pony

    Pony Well-Known Member Supporter

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    You can "what if" yourself till the cows come home. Truth is, you really have no control over what happens, in the air or on the ground.

    Life is an adventure. My attitude is that you may as well take advantage of the adventure every opportunity you get.

    Or you can stay home and miss out on the opportunity to see your GD dance.

    As for the issues with your eldest daughter, you have lots of time between now and April to practice how you will act around her, decide how you will respond to her if her "issues" crop up, things like that. A chat with a pastor who is good with people or a counselor could help you sort out your concerns over an encounter with your daughter.

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    Good luck!

    Pony!
     
  11. Becca65

    Becca65 Well-Known Member

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    I understand your nervousness, I'm flying next month to Florida.. I always get nervous during take off.. hate that feeling!! my doc gave me some xanax if i need it, i'm hoping i don't.. Once i'm in the air i'm fine, just takeoff I can't stand, maybe some music or crossword puzzles.. this will be the first time my DD5 will be on a airplane so i plan on bringing alot of stuff to keep her busy as well.
     
  12. Cabin Fever

    Cabin Fever Life NRA Member since 1976 Supporter

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    I haven’t read the other responses, but statistically flying is safer than driving by a long shot. With that said, I know how you feel. I’ve flown a lot over the years and you’d think that I’d be comfortable with it. Well, I’m not. I still feel some fear every time I board a plane…but I bite the bullet and do it anyways. Suz, you are one of my favorite people at this forum…right up there at the top…and I’ll beat the crud out of any airlines that would allow something to happen to you! So, don’t worry, everything will be okay. You’re tough…you can do this! When you’re in Nashville say “Hi!” to Dolly and Reba for me….okay?
     
  13. fantasymaker

    fantasymaker Well-Known Member

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    For some people it helps to take a seat near the emergancy exits for mental relief,since they are near the middle of the plane the ride is a bit better there ,Another thing to make it easyer is to take a seat just ahead of the wing if looking at it move makes you queasy ,or just behind it if seeing it is still there gives you comfort.
     
  14. MarleneS

    MarleneS Well-Known Member

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    You could try arguing with yourself about fear outweighing facts instead of replaying the possiblity of a plane crash over and over in your head everynight. You could have a debate about why is it even knowing the facts about it being more likely to have an accident in an automobile then an airplane - you are able to ride regularly in an autombile -- the answer to that one is the only difference is your thought process :)

    Or you could think about how you are likely going to feel if you choose either option over another. If you choose to let your fears control you won't you regret disappointing your daughter and your granddaughter? Won't you be unhappy with having choosen fear over the great opportunity you start building a happy relationship with your daughter? Won't you forever feel bad about the memory? Or if you choose to accept that yes you are afraid, yes it's going to be difficult but you're going to do it not only for yourself but for your daughter and your granddaughter, and how wonderful that memory is going to be each and everytime you have it of having taken the opportunity to see your granddaughter on stage. And how she likely give her effort just a little bit more because she had her grandmother in the audience.

    Just think of the person you are going to be when you return home and have learned what a brave and couragous person you can now be proud of being :)

    Hugs
    marlene
     
  15. crafty2002

    crafty2002 Well-Known Member

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    I guess I can see where people are scared to fly but it makes no sense to me really.
    I can't find it now, but the odds of being killed in a car crash within 10 miles of your own home is something like 3,000 times higher than dieing in an aircraft crash.
    There is on average 171 people killed in auto crashes each day in the U.S.
    It is by far safer for you to fly to Nashville from Milwaukee than it is to drive.
    I forget the odds on this, but you are far more likely to be killed in an auto accident or by a robber on the way to or from the airport than a crash.
    Try to beat this in your brain that you know without a boubt that this is by far the saftesst way to see your GD dance.
    As for me, I love to fly. That's why I joined the Army, so I could jump out of airplane, yeh, yeh I know and the only thing God meant to fly was birds and fools, but it doesn't seem he wanted out on roads either if that is the case.

    As DonnaKay said, you are not going to die until it's your time, and when it is your time, you are gone. Even if it's a hotdog that gets you, but you aren't going anywhere until that time comes.
    The Good Lord has been with me many times when I should have been gone and most of them I ended up broken up somewhat, but I walked away from all but two.
    Make it a fun thing. Learn too love it.
    My wife used to be like you until I finally got her up one time. :hobbyhors
    Now about 2 or 3 times a year we get hooked up with someone at the airport and they will take us up for a half hour (that is what we always agree on but most of the time we stay up longer for the same money) for about 100 bucks. I think we went 150 one time for an hour but that was with me taking off. I still haven't landed one yet, We just fly around the town and stay within 20-30 maybe 40 miles from the airport. Most of the time the owner lets me fly it also.
    It is fun.
    I even flew a C-130 going to Ark., I believe it was, when I was in the Army. I didn't say that did I?? LOL.
    The pilot let the co-pilot get out of the seat and me set down because I was up there asking questions and he asked me if I wanted to give it a try. Helllll Yesssss.
    I love it. Try to look forward to it instead dreading it. You'll be up there where it looks like you good just walk out the door onto God clouds and bounce around on them. Beautiful site if you will try to look at it like that and leave the fear at home.
     
  16. via media

    via media Tub-thumper

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    DonnaKay said it best!

    You could be safe at home, missing your daughter dancing, and get clunked on the head by a falling limb while checking your mail.

    If it's not your time, nothing will kill you. We've all heard stories about people getting run over by trains or falling of their roof into a fire or something and they walked away without a scratch.

    It's really great that your daughter is important enough that you are willing to face your fear. It may be a trip with memories she will cherish for the rest of her life. You can do it! :dance:

    /VM
     
  17. frogmammy

    frogmammy Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I know what the problem is. If you're driving somewhere and the car quits, you get out and walk...same if you're on a train or bus. If you're on a boat and it quits, you get out and swim. If you're on an airplane and IT quits, what do you do? Walking won't help, swiming won't help, and you don't have your OWN wings!

    I'm scared of heights and scared of flying...but I dated a pilot and fly when I have to...which fortunately isn't often!

    You'll probably have about 3 hours airtime (actually in the air) won't you? That's not too long to put up with something. The time between takeoff and landing is kinda boring...and actually, takeoff and landing doesn't take long at all...if you're busy talking you'll miss some, if not all, of it.

    And best of all, you are going to feel so much better once you get there!!!! Just imagine how you feel after a two day car trip! Yuck!

    Like many things, anticipation is MUCH worse than the actual thing/event you're worried about!

    Mon
     
  18. Nan

    Nan Well-Known Member

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    Don't forget the dramomine...it helps with air sickness! I get a bit queazy from motion sickness...ok...I get a LOT queazy from motion sickness...and dramomine helps tremendously. THEN...that is one thing you don't have to worry about...ooopsying in the little bag...which...btw...I haven't seen on a plane in a while! LOL!

    I get nervous flying too...but I would get a whole lot MORE bummed if I had to stay home and miss something! I hate to miss things worse than I hate to fly! You'll be fine! Maybe write your daughter a sweet letter or call her up and break the ice over the phone...April IS a long time and plenty of time to make ammends before you go! If it is something that you have both done...make the effort to appologize first...then the monkey is off your back and you will feel lighter about the whole thing. Life is too short to worry about "things" that come between loved ones!
     
  19. Jeff54321

    Jeff54321 Well-Known Member

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    If the flight is 3 months away and you are completely stressed out now, you might want to reconsider flying.
     
  20. suzfromWi

    suzfromWi Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Cabin fever, thank you for those kind words. I sure appreciate them. if I see Dolly or reba Ill tell them you say hey....Do they go to ballet? Well maybe Ill have time to go to a club.... And to everyone else I thank you too. I AM going regardless of the fear. It is just one more thing I hAVE to accomplish before the old dead dog bites me.... :angel: My DD and I see each other often even though she lives In Illinois. They come up, we go down. The problem is more with the past then whats happening now. We do love each other, she just holds some old grudges. It will be okay and we have been talking about it.