Goin Nuts With Stress ?'s Alternative housing?Cheap Meal ideas?

Have you considered using your computer and internet service to make some extra money? Do you use coupons? Email me at 2ravenlost@excite.com and I'll point you in the right direction if you are interested.

 

Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the bodies basic desire to choke the living crap out of someone who definitely deserves it. Stress

I kind of know what you are going through. I had to pay child support also plus pay back child support for 10 years which made it even worse. Then on top of that my wife wouldn't work cause she felt it was her duty to stay at home and be a housewife in which she felt is what God intended for all wives. So for a few years until I got caught up on the back child support we had to live on half of my bring home pay. Which was garnished automatically whether I wanted to pay it or not. But to be truthfull I didn't mind paying it so long as I knew my child was receiving some of it for clothing, toys, and spending money in her pocket. However when you know your childs mom is driving something brand new, going to the casino on weekends, and smoking tons of cigarettes. It does make a person mad at just what there money is being spent on.

Enough said about me! Be very careful cause you could possibly make it even worse. If they are not now taking up to 50 percent of his bring home pay then after you deal with them the new term may be the whole 50 percent. I had a co-worker who was paying about 35 percent of his check to child support but after taking his exwife back to court and loosing to her he ended up paying half of his check to her. So in my point of veiw you maybe better off looking for other ways to make extra money. It will have to be you that makes the extra money so they can't touch it. If your dh gets a second job then he will be required to pay child support out of it too. I know you stated you had severe health problems so maybe you could go to the Department of Human service and tell them what kind of bind you are in and maybe they can help you. You may qualify for food stamps. You do not have to be totally jobless to qualify for assistance.

 

Hi there Willow, when it rains it pours doesn't it? We also live on one income plus my sons' disability checks and sometimes it really hits the fan. Being a stay at home mom, I use coupons for everything possible and if I don't have the coupons with me, I redeem them through the mail (if it is good enough to offset the cost of a stamp) often times one company will allow you to redeem several coupons on different receipts in one envelope (like Camel for cigarettes) basically if it goes to the same address it's fine. For a few bucks for gas I recycle our cans which here in WA isn't that great of a return but Oregon is wonderful at 5 cents a can (that alone has helped fund several trips to OR to see family just by crossing the border into OR and recycling there) There is a plethera of help as an adult if you get disability through social security--anything from reduced electrical costs (has to be in your name) to food stamps, reduced cost or free health care--lots of paperwork to find out for your state but well worth the extra help. We often shop at discount grocery stores that buy the excess from other stores, rarely the same brands twice but often higher quality brands for less than half the regular cost--they tend to tally up how much it would have cost at a regular store vs. their cost and we usually save the same amount we spend, plus some Dollar Stores here carry shampoos and such in decent sized containers for a dollar a piece. As for recipes on a budget, we use a lot of pastas, anything from egg noodles, to macaroni style noodles, I usually buy bulk sauce mixes like cheese sauce or gravy mix and add a little sausage or ground beef. We have breakfast for dinner alot pancakes with berries mixed in or just a little vanilla for flavor with eggs ( we have chickens so eggs are plentiful) and sausage. If you don't already cook from scratch--that can save you lots of money there too, it's amazing how far a bag of flour can go.......Speaking of that one of the things I do regularly since when I cook, I cook bigger than we need and then freeze the extra--makes for interesting mix and match evenings for dinner. Any good pie crust mix is great when you have a little of this and a little of that, just throw it in a pie crust and it's a "whatever pot pie" (my guys aren't wild about leftovers so on occasion I have to transform the leftovers into something "new" lol) Let's see ......know anyone with a garden? Most often you can bargain your way into their extra veggies by offering to help them harvest. Around here we have orchards everywhere and most often just by asking the owner if you can buy some fruit, equally offer to pick your own, commonly here a 40lb box of any type apple goes for $15 about the same for pears etc but that's alot of apples you can freeze or can or even trade. They are usually just so damn happy you offer to pay vs. stealing them in the middle of the night you get great deals. Well it's bout time for me to get some sleep, hope we've been some help to you, and don't worry about complaining, if you didn't we wouldn't be able to yap your ear off like we know it all Good luck and let us know how it goes!

 

Sorry, surely you knew about the child support before you married him. Would you really want to be married to a man who would abandon a 4 yr old daughter? If you can't manage on what is left after the child support comes out, think of how hard it is for his child and her mother to manage on what they are getting. Having been a child who had to go to work at 16 because the court ordered child support was never paid; I have a little bit of a problem with people who complain about paying it.

 

Some churches have very good outreach programs to help those in a similar situation. Ask around and then perhaps join that church.

Is there a farmers' market in your area? If so talk to some of the vendors and just basically tell them you don't have much money and could you possibly help them load and clean up in exchange for paying a little bit for any produce they would otherwise have to dispose of because it won't keep until the next market day.

If you are not familiar with them, check out day-old bread outlets. Bread is still fresh enough to eat and would certainly do for toast.

As noted, check out salvage groceries. At one time they were a great bargain, but with Wal-Mart and Dollar Stores driving down prices of the low-end items, they are not as great now. For example, last one I stopped at had canned produce at 3/$1.00. Same price as in the local Dollar General. However, if you can find one which also sells health and beauty aids you can really save some money on those.

Be creative. A $.50 can of sardines and some mayo can make 2-3 sandwiches. A rolled/boneless ham will be sometimes be on sale for less than $2.50 a pound. You can get a bunch of sandwiches out of a six-pound ham.

E-mail me at scharabo@aol.com and request a free e:book copy of my book, "How to Earn Extra Money in the Country". There may be things in there you can do even in a city apartment.

I know it takes a bit of capital, but some people use eBay as in income source in that they look for items which are not properly presented, buy them and then resell them on eBay. For example, run an eBay search on dimond. I deal in tools so look for such things as vise spelled as vice, adjustable as adjustible and farrier spelled as ferrier. I have bought tool lots and then reoffered them singly and made decent money on it even after I paid shipping to me and the eBay/PayPal costs. I bought a small anvil for $34.00 delivered, drilled five holes in it, put two shop-made tools with it and resold it for $132.50. I can buy small kindling mauls from a wholesaler for $3.75 and cut off the cutting end, which I make into a hot cut hardy and sell it for usually $15.00. I weld a small plate on what was left of the head and sell it (with handle) for usually $20. Thus, with a bit of work I have turned a $3.75 item into $35, out of which I'll net about $25. Someone gave me four leaf springs off two old trucks. I cut the springs into 2" sections, welding on a base and hardy shank and sell them for $7.49. Let's see, six section to the foot of spring x $7.49 equals a gross of almost $45.00, of which I'll net out about $40.00. However, I should point out here is I have a fairly long background in the items I deal with so I have a pretty good idea of what I can resell something for before I purchase.

I don't make a killing on anything, but my basic guidelines is to not do something I am not reasonable sure I can double my money on. The 100% allows for some mistakes and still gives a nice return. A little often enough adds up. For example, you start with $1.00 and do something to double it to $2.00 in a day. Your return on investment is 100% in one day. Now say you do that every day with that original $1.00 for a year. That is a return of $365 on a $1.00 investment.

My point is if you are creative in your thinking, and do some homework, you can make money other than by working for someone.

Ken Scharabok

 

I agree with Cyngbaeld. This is a responsibility your husband MUST live up to.

Do you have a local coop where you are? I do a majority of food shopping through a local coop, and buy in bulk --- it makes a huge difference in the grocery bills.

I don't use coupons --- I have enough problems with paper without bringing more into the house --- but I do stock up whenever stuff is on sale. I just got a great deal on pumpkin, for example --- and fortunately, I love pumpkin custard, pumpkin soup, pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, whatever. I have an entire pantry and small freezer full of stuff I got on sale --- and I eat very, very well. I look around and I have *very* good brown rice I got on sale --- garlic, on sale again --- organic peanut butter and local honey, once again sale items, buckwheat, good teas, coffee, etc., all on sale. I grow all my herbs and spices, except cinnamon and black pepper. For meat, I use mostly chicken --- free range antibiotic free and grain fed --- I get the packs of chicken quarters which are VERY cheap, and I use every bit of that chicken. I keep the bones in the freezer to make stock.

Whenever I see cheap gas, I fill the car. I commute a long ways, and I estimate, thanks to doing this, my gasoline bills will run less than $100/mo --- which is extraordinary, considering the cost of gas and how far I have to commute.

I do car maintenance a bit at a time. This is a new trick I've learned, as I almost broke down a few months ago and almost finally took my car in to have everything done at one time. They wanted $600.

:no: No way! Most of that cost was labor, too.

So, what I can't do myself, I've taken the car in to have done one thing at a time. I now have all new belts, transmission flushed and primed up, nice brakes on the front, and some other things I can't remember for around $225. :yeeha: Those labor costs will eat you up.

A lot of it is common sense, too --- turn thermostat up in summer, down in winter, don't do laundry on hot days, hang out the stuff that can dry on its own, be very kind to your shoes and never buy a new video or DVD, unless it's seriously on sale.

Turn that cable and satellite TV off, too. That's $30-40 or more a month.

 

www.kurtsaxon.com

read his survival foods section, espeacially the part on cooking with a thermos.

While not the most tasty of things to start out trying to save dollars on, brown rice is actully one food i do request my wife we keep in stock for eating at least once a week. add some canned milk and some rasins and it is quite a nice dessert treat.

Thermos cooking will also make a good lunch to take to work as a stew, add some potatoes, ground beef, carrots chunks, a couple other veggies and it cooks over night and at lunch it is still hot, and very tasty.

Cornbread and bean soup, not on top of everyones meal list, but one that does not set a persons budget on its posterior end, done in a crock pot takes the fuss out of having to cook in a hot kitchen for very long, once bean soup is mastered, adding variations can be interesting, and chile isnt far behind.

You dont have to starve to make eating on $30 a week stretch out, just prepare a little differently in your head, and make the choice to start as much from scratch. A stainless steel thermos will cost about $25 if you dont already have one new at the dreaded wally world, and ive seen the smaller crock pots for just over $10 in the same store......

Scratch cooking need not be made stressful, and if you do it right a raost in the crock pot today can be sliced for lunchmeat for a few days, and far less cost than prepared luncheon meats from the store. Even if you still buy bread from the store it makes a better tasting meal at work cause its is homemade some what. Plus you really dont have to convert all to oncet, just plan a little ahead, I understand $30 isnt much, but look at it this way, it is $120 for a month for as i understand it 2 people. Ive lived in a situation where we had $145 for 3 people for a month due to a car accident and no income except what food stamps my girlfriend was already recieving before that happened a few years ago..... a few years later, my wife and i have 3 kids, and recently i was cut back in my pay, job was refigured to $20.00 per hour billable, and sometimes we have $50 a week for victuals, and sometime we have $100.00 we can spend.... I have a couple rigs that need bad attention, so stress is nothing that i cannot understand. Stress is easy to control for some, and for others it eats them increasingly daily..... because those who control the situation allow it to be so....... sing the blues, get over the the problem for the moment change it if you can if you cannot at the moment do not dwell upon it....things will change, life is to short to worry over trivial matters such as gold and silver.....

May YHVH bless you and enrich your life, we hold you in our prayers.

William

 

Blueduk is absolutely right about the crockpot. I just gave my old one to charity and replaced it with a new one for $7.99.

:yeeha:

Crockpot cooking rocks! :yeeha:

If you can find one on sale, also try a George Foreman Lean Mean Roasting Machine. It will cook anything in almost no time --- and save on electricity.

More $$$ saving hints: ALWAYS PAY BILLS ON TIME! That $1-2-3 late fee adds up. If you think about it, if the late fee is $2 per bill and you pay separate electric, gas and water bills, that's $6/mo or over $60 a year. For you, that's two weeks groceries.

If you have plants or a garden --- I keep buckets under my window air conditioning units, and use the water for my plants. It may not be much, but like the late fees, it all adds up. I figure I save about $4-5 a month at least on water doing this.

Start exchanging regular lightbulbs for energy efficient. The energy efficient compact flourescents are pricey, so do it maybe one-two at a time. You WILL see an immediate difference in your electric bill. !

I take my own coffee to work with me. At a minimum (given I'm a caffeine addict), I figure I'm saving $2 a day doing this.

Every little thing you do to save money adds up. But remember to be smart about where you cut costs. It's better to spend $50 on your car NOW if you think there might be a problem than lose the whole engine a few months down the line. Just like it's better to buy good brown rice in bulk and spend a few extra cents than save a few pennies on white rice --- the brown rice is better for you, has more nutrients and will fill everyone up better.

 

Well, the FIRST thing that you do is to make your apartment into something that you can be comfortable in

No, the First thing you should do is get rid of the apartment, and start living rent-free as a property caretaker! Think of all the money wasted on rent, when you can be living in and taking care of someone else's home, and saving all that rent money. I have found many of my caretaking assignments thru the Caretaker Gazette.

 

The caretaker idea is actually not a bad thought. Depending on how close to the country you are, you also might offer to caretake small farms so the owners can get a vacation. I know I pay $50 per day to have someone come in twice a day and feed and water the animals and check on the house - that way I can get down to Ca and visit my family for Christmas and know the critters are ok. That was last year's price, it'll probably be more this year. Check with a feed store about putting up a flyer - feed stores in my area have whole blackboards offering all sorts of things.

For grocery bill stretching, beans and rice! Beans are cheap, high protein, low fat, and tasty! Add rice and you have a complete protein and a cheap easy way to stretch the beans out for several days. When most of the beans are eaten and your down to broth, bake a couple potatoes, pour the broth over them for flavoring, and you have another dinner. There are entire cookbooks devoted to cooking beans, and every recipe I've tried has been good. Corn bread is easy to make from scratch - its tasty and filling. Any cornbread left over can be crumbled, heated up with milk and honey and you have a really great breakfast. Buy meat in the largest quantities you can and freeze it. Try to use the meat sparingly as more of a flavoring and you'll still get the protein your body needs and you'll save on the most expensive ingredient in most recipes.

 

I won't lecture you on needing to pay child support. It is often way overdone and it is true there is absolutely no acountability the recipient can spend the money on booze and cigarettes or a new lover and the courts could care less. I personally think support laws encourage divorces now.Talk about govenment micro managing citizens lives it should never be governments place to interfere in peoples lives to that extent. You are fortunate when the ex spouse does not work as that only makes it go up more. To live cheap cut the cable eat beans rice and cornmeal start growing some food even with health problems you may be able to garden some areas offer community garden plots to apartment livers and a few trays of greens can provide a salad a day sprout some alfalfa that is super cheap. If fishing liscenses are not too high you can fish for some food around here at 18 dollars a year it is cheaper to buy the fish. get rid of any cell phones cancel any magazines buy nothing at the grocer for over a dollar a pound. bake your own bread and cake. buy flour and yeast from the warehouse store. If either of you smoke start buying bulk tobaco and filter tubes for 8 dollars a carton instead of 30 or plant tobacco. if you drink beer brew it for about 1/2 what it costs to buy. It is true your wage would be the best to improve or enhance since if he takes an extra job it will just go to more support. maybe you could find work for yourself or your spouse involving non cash compensation like a discount at a grocer reduced or no cost rent like working at a storage locker with an apt provided etc. Children were not meant to be suplimental income to unethical mothers yet in many cases that is what it has come to. A lot of women now consider the children to be sources of income becoming private welfare bums. the phsycological damge to children is monumental and entirely created by an effort to make things right. If the children were just tought in school the potential consequinces of having children to your future a lot of this foolishness would stop.Also if children were not considered to automaticly go to the women it would help if women had a 50/50 chance of loosing their children and having to pay support you would cut 75% of all divorce overnight.

 

Why don't you get a hold on yourself! You're 28 years old, so you weren't born yesterday. You knew that your husband had a child when you married him, so don't blame him for your whiny feelings. If he wants to take care of his child, more power to him. He'll be the winner in the end. Don't you realize how much you're hurting him by begrudging his child? If you keep it up you'll be sitting by yourself again. ONLY $30. a week for groceries for 2 people? That sounds like enough to me. Just learn to juggle things around a bit. Don't you know that there are many people with a lot less money than you? They probably don't like it, but they don't go around whining and talking about it all the time. As for your disability---so many able bodied people are trying their hardest to get on Social Security disability, that it makes one think think that 99% of our population is disabled. Do you know how it was before there was such a thing as disability? People worked, disabled or able. I don't feel sorry for you. You have a good husband, who is a good father, while you sit back and whine.

 

I hate to say it, but if you are willing to get out and volunteer a few days a week, there is a job for you somewhere.

It might simply be a part-time job. Maybe you could get on at a movie theater where no lifting is required or some other minimum wage job that could take the edge off the paycheck crunch. Even 1 or two days a week, earning $30 take home would make a difference.

You don't say why you are seeking disability, but life is long and there are many of years ahead of you to be labelled "disabled" so young. You're new here, but you may have noticed we are the "dig your heels in, tackle that challenge" kind of group.

 

Willowwisp

For food ideas, beans, beans and more beans. That becomes your base. Think about the Olive Garden restaurant with their Pasta Y Figlioli soup and bread sticks-----the soup is basically beans and pasta and tomatoes with some onions and spices added. Red beans and Rice is a classic ethnic food. Think about different chilis. I sometimes make a White chili with a little chicken and navy beans for a change. I make a bean soup with black beans and red beans and canned tomatoes and corn. Then I add onions, some chili powder and a small amount of meat if I have it such as chicken or ham. Cornbread is cheap and easy. Oatmeal is cheap and easy and can be used to make an assortment of muffins and cookies.

If you are a country girl at heart, then start thinking as a strong country woman, even if you are disabled. Learn to bake bread! If you don't have a patio where you can container garden, then find windowsills where you can grow herbs. Find a farmers market in your city and start buying fresh veggies and fruits and learn to can or dry food. Many a pioneer woman was probably disabled, but learned to still do what was necessary for food, clothing and shelter. Learn to quilt. You might be able to earn some money selling handmade quilts or pastries. My Granny used to make beautiful crazy quilts from scrap fabrics that people donated to her and she sold them for money. She didn't have a sewing machine---only a needle and thread. She could make a quilt a week and back in the 60's sold each one for $300 and had a list of people waiting for one. Think outside the box!!!! Unless you are a total invalid, you can sit in a chair and make a quilt.

Since your hubby has a child, you obviously are able to care for her some. You might consider having a small daycare situation yourself. There is many a woman out there that has supported herself and her children with a home daycare------one I knew was disabled!

 

I just had to add this about my Granny. Every night she put a pot of beans on to soak. Morning came and she put those beans to cooking. Then she made a big pan of biscuits from scratch and a pan of gravy. Papaw had chickens and there were eggs too if wanted. By lunch, there was beans and biscuits. During the summer, there was fresh veggies from the garden such as onions, tomatoes and okra. During the winter, there was fried potatoes. By dinner the biscuits were gone and she made a pan of cornbread. On Sunday, Papaw killed a chicken and she would fry it, reserving some of the meat and bones to make dumplings for a change of menu. This was the menu. I can never remember there being anything else except at holidays.

 

You are absolutely right - I take the advice given on this board carries a little more weight than anywhere else. At least here, you know that most of the posters are a "been there, done that" sort and are mostly speaking from experience. I love to read the advice and I think - "This is what God intended - help those who help themselves" - everyone enhances my joy at the way they have overcome obstacles and still have room for love and human appreciation.