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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
For those of us who have children grown and out of the house (far away) or childless (second marriages and such) I read an article, I believe on bankrate.com that suggested looking into becoming foster parents when you are in you seventevies to have a helper at the homestead and all the while bringing up a self-sufficient youth. I am not personally there yet, only in my 40-s but thinkning too.... The kids, the way I see it are not interested in helping, just interested in taking whatever they can take, and 30 something years later, there would be no options for me to have a good company in my homestead. Sorry, I don't have any experience with fostering, good or bad, but open at all discussion. It seems to me that if I adopt a foster child, It should work both ways - me providing a child a family and a child helping me with the chores. This is just speculating at this point. Please offer both good and bad opinions. Thank you.
 

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Foster parent in their 70's? No thank you, that would be really unfair to the kids and I know of very few 70 year olds that could keep up with a youth, especially if its a troubled one - and many foster kids are.
 

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I don't quite understand you post, but if you are saying you read something that recommended fostering in your seventies in order to have a companion/farmhand. There are much easier ways to go about it without near the responsibility. My wife and I have two foster children on a homestead (check out on the weblink below) and it is a blast, but it is a 24 hour job as well. You would probably do better paying some neighborhood kid to do chores for you then sending them home when you are done with them. I used to do chores for many elderly neighbors who I think really just wanted somebody to hang out for a while. That being said there are more foster children than there are families to take them so I strongly suggest that anyone who has the inclination to do something like that look into it. Our dealings with DSS have been nothing but professional and I do believe that an empty nester in ther late 50's, or 60's could handle many of these children if they are willing and reasonably healthy.
 

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My guess is that the bankrate.com author does not have a clue on raising foster children.

Many foster kids bring along, quite a bit of baggage and not in suitcases. Some of it quite severe. Mental,physical, sexual abuse, plus dealing on some level, with the real "parents", including CPS and the legal system.

There will be more time required dealing with their issues, than whether the sheep get watered.

The amount of energy required to raise foster kids can be astounding and the people who tackle the task, are truely saints.

For folks in their seventies, I would suggest a hired hand.


Besides, who wants 90 year parents, at their high school graduation? ;)
 

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For those of us who have children grown and out of the house (far away) or childless (second marriages and such) I read an article, I believe on bankrate.com that suggested looking into becoming foster parents when you are in you seventevies to have a helper at the homestead and all the while bringing up a self-sufficient youth. I am not personally there yet, only in my 40-s but thinkning too.... The kids, the way I see it are not interested in helping, just interested in taking whatever they can take, and 30 something years later, there would be no options for me to have a good company in my homestead. Sorry, I don't have any experience with fostering, good or bad, but open at all discussion. It seems to me that if I adopt a foster child, It should work both ways - me providing a child a family and a child helping me with the chores. This is just speculating at this point. Please offer both good and bad opinions. Thank you.
Please tell me you are not serious!!!

Taking in foster children is not about getting help for yourself, but providing a stable and loving environment for the child.

This is no longer the 1930's, where orphans are expected to work themselves to death in order to provide themselves a meager meal an some rags as clothes.

Many of the foster children in today's system have been ripped out of homes, often in the middle of the night, and have seen horrors that a normal person cannot imagine.

I have two aunts that take in foster children. I could tell you stories about what these pitiful children have lived through that would make your head spin.

I would be shocked out of my mind if any state or social service agency would place a child with someone if they heard them say that. And probably more shocked if they placed kids with folks in their 70's. Remember, these kids need stability and often several years of continued placement.
 

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There are clearly stated restrictions about what you can expect from foster children about work. These are set forth by the state.

You can expect them to clean their room and help out with normal chores, but they are not slave labor.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Goodness, I was not thinking of any "slave" labor, but a give and take relationship where an aging person provides love and shelter to a child and and a child provides help in a homestead. When I was a child (some 40 years ago) I was not paid for chores, that was an expeced assignment that you do. Now, we have to pay our kids to clean their bedrooms. Is that right? No wonder, the kids have no idea what an independant living costs. Our oldest just moved out and rented a $700/month apartment so that he could congregate with his girlfrliend (in sin, may I addd)... Well, guess what, the company he's contracting for is laying off the contractors. So, what happens to that lease?
 

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I think when they are saying fostering at the age of 70 ,, you may have read it wrong ,,,, are you sure it didnt say to be in foster care ,,, I know a lot of 70 and 80 year olds that are in foster homes ... thats were older need some care but not as much as they would get in a nurseing home ... and may not bee suited for asisted liveing .... some older even have someone live in there home and help them in exchange for rent ... if they dont need 24 7 care ..... now days theres a lot of ways to stay out of nursing homes ...
til its realy needed
tom
 

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For those of us who have children grown and out of the house (far away) or childless (second marriages and such) I read an article, I believe on bankrate.com that suggested looking into becoming foster parents when you are in you seventevies to have a helper at the homestead and all the while bringing up a self-sufficient youth.
My aunt and uncle are in their 70s and have foster kids for years. They now just do respite for other families. Raising childre is HARD work. Quadruple the work it took to raise your first family since these kids tend to need extra help. You're likely to have to deal with a lot of behavior issues with foster children. They've not had a stable upbringing and many have endured years of abuse. I want less work when I'm in my 70s, not more.

By the way, I have four adopted siblings. My siblings were all 15 months and younger when adopted. Even they had baggage. One sister was obviously abused. One brother has fetal alcohol and will never be independent. This is not work for the retired. It's a job and a difficult one at that.


 

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as a 51 yr old grandma who has adopted her 4 grand children after they havingbeen in states custody..I can assure you,,,,the work load you takeo n is much more then any work return you will get. I love these children..they are my grands, But..after a bad upraising by my daughter and then several years being bounced..and yes taken out in the middle of the night, my grand children have been a handful . 1 diagnosed with add/adhd 2 with adjustment disorders, of 4 kids..3 came to me in pampers..we are talking a 4 yr old a 6 yr old and a 9 year old. Only 1 of 4 doesnt wet the bed. WE are now down to one and occasionally 2 that still do after 2 years. Dealing with DCS is a pain in the butt..plan on meetings and meetings and surprise visits and etc etc etc.
Plan on calls from the school only weekly if you are lucky that they are in trouble..again.
My grand daughter got thrown out of daycare with in 2 weeks of coming to my house. They felt she was a danger. She had already gone thru an alternative day care..this is a daycare for violent children...she was 5.
I could go on and on and on. We are talking about children I lOVE.If I hadnt loved them..I would have preferred to do farm chores and leave all this other stuff to someone else.
If you are thinking cheap labor..think agaon./ It is not a trade off...and you need to be like so prepared for that.
 
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