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Discussion Starter #1
So I have a question for you other wives out there do you ever feel that sometimes your only job in life is to keep everyone else happy ? and all you do is cook and clean and take care of your family and they take you for granted beacuse of it ? well that is how i am feeling lately and I needed to vent and you ladies are wonderful on this thread sometimes it would be so nice to say hey family I am not just amom house keeper I need to be loved and cherished also and feel like a woman not jsut like a slave lol this is how i feel lately about my husband I love him alot but dang it men can be dence at times to womens needs Ok I am done and feel alittle better getting that off my chest lol :rolleyes:
 

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Yes, I think everyone has felt like that from time to time! It usually happens when I am coming down with something, am run down and just out of it /or am already sick OR expecting. When the kids were in school and I was working full time + , it happened more often because I was being pulled in a 100 ways and on the go ALL the time.

I found that doing something JUST for me exercise, walk, hot bath, trip to the salon, etc. helps. Hope you feel loved and comfort soon..Queen Bee
 

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I do feel I spend a lot of time cooking, cleaning and doing homeschool with the kids and running around after them. That being said though, I love my job 95% of the time.

I have learned to speak up and just say, "hey look guys I'm just one person you need to help me out here." This is to the kids more than my husband because he's already working 9 hours a day and commuting 2 hours.

The kids help with cooking, laundry and chores. The oldest, 11, is the best help. I do make the 7 and 3 year old help out though. I am not their servant, they need to pitch in or they can do it themselves.

If I need time to do me things I just tell DH. Earlier this year I went away with a friend for 3 days and DH stayed home with the kids. I have a girls day out once in a while when I feel the need.
 

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Oh Creeklady I think we all feel like this from time to time. Our pastor is doing a marriage series and one of the things he said the other week was "Husbands- your wives are not your mothers...don't treat them as such". I just reminded my DH just last night....I'm not your mother!!

I don't hold out much hope for having my DH appreciate all the work I do around here but I am raising my 2 sons to treat their wives with respect and do their fair share around the house.

At 4 and 6 my sons clear the table for every meal and put the dishes in the dishwasher. They must put their clothes away and I am working on having them make their beds and pick up after themselves. They come out and work with me in the garden (they don't care much for this one......yet). They also open and hold open a door for me weather at home or at the store.

With God's help they will be GREAT husbands.....I hope my future daughter-in-laws appreciate what I am doing for them!!
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Dont get me wrong I LOVE my family I really do I cherish my husband and my children and having two kids with disorders adhd and add is hard and astep daughter with learning disabilities makes it even harder when husband is of the old school that is he loves the kids but tends to be the drill sargent and I am the buffer and say hey look they are just kids and they need love and understanding not a drill sargent he was raised this way by his parents and I am trying to show him there are other more effective ways to be aparent and just beacause you were raised this way does not mean you have to raise your kids this way lots of nights I take abook and head to the bathroom for anice long hot bath and forget about everything :) but me and it works great till I here at the door mom..mom .... mom ugggg!!!!! I tell them I am having a me time go ask your dad lol I think I need a sound proof bathroom lol
 

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Yes, we all have "down" days where we're not on top of our game and feeling a bit resentful. Doesn't everyone, no matter what their job might be?

As another poster said, get out and take some time for yourself and do something for you -- it will help. An honest, frank discussion with your spouse can help, too. Sometimes our menfolk get so wrapped up in the act of providing for us that they forget that we need more than a roof over our heads and food on the table. Cherishing *HIM* can help remind him to cherish *YOU*.
 

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Yep, same here.. I think everyone feels that way from time to time.. I've been working a few more hours lately, yesterday I said to DD16 I need to go to work soon, so i need you to do the dishes, vaccum, and change laundry loads.. It was sooo nice to come home last night and have everything done. Theres no reason the kids can't help you.
My sister has called me crying about this same thing , and feeling taken advantage of.. I mean really crying. It's not a good feeling at all.
 

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Absolutely I feel that way sometimes and I think all women do.

I know that men feel the same way sometimes, too, because they end up fixing everything and as soon as one thing is repaired two other things break. That's a thankless job, too.

See if you can take a day off, just for you. Spend it with a good friend (or older daughter if you have one old enough). Ask that somehow the meals and dishes take care of themselves and that the house is at least picked up. Maybe this would be a good thing to ask for as a birthday gift or Mother's Day or similar.
 

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We've all had our moments when we feel under appreciated, be it husband, children, parents, and/or employers. I guess that makes it pretty normal. The advise for time just for you and getting out with your girlfrieds is also helpful - just try not to spend the time with the girlfriends bashing your husbands because that might feel good for the moment, and it's it does feel good to feel you are not alone, but it's not something that will actually help your marriage.

You did mention that you and your husband are not on the same page when it comes to child rearing and discipline - now that can get old and fustrating in a hurry. Especially if it turns into a power trip - and you have a nonconfrontational personality. Time and effort invested into negotiating a plan you can both be happy with in that area would be worthy. Perhaps your minister could offer you some help?

Hope you feel better soon.

Marlene
 

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Honestly? Not really. Men and children do require careful training, and homes require expert management.

Once those habits are in place, there is no more rewarding, no more influential, and no more important job in the world.
 
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