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This is what happens when I am nervous because I am forced to participate in social engagements: It ain't pretty!

After close to twenty years with the same company, two years ago they closed and dh had to go out into the "union" looking for work. He finally got on with a new company this spring. The time has arrived for the big Christmas party. For the last three weeks I have been fretting over my dh's company Christmas part. I put of rsvping until the last minute. Researched and stressed over the term, "dressy casual" on the invitation so I knew what to wear. Neither of us wants to go but he feels like we need to and wants to make a nice impression. We are both uncomfortable in new surroundings, and we won't know any of the people. Dh knows a few of the guys on his job but that is it. He knows none of the office yet, has met the owner briefly twice, etc. He has made a good impression with his skill and work ethic, of course. Well, tonight is the night I have been dreading and dh will be home soon, so what do I do when under pressure??? I cut, well actually I WHACKED over six inches off my hair and dyed it "spiced tea auburn" aka RED with some hair stuff my sister gave me a year ago (atleast it will go away after 28 washings), next I plugged in the curling iron I had stored in the closet for a few years and proceeded to make myself look little "Little Annie"! ack! Well, I can guarantee we will make an impression anyway.
 

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how the party turned out. I hate to go to them too, especially work related!!! What did your husband say about your hair???? good Luck.
 

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This is what happens when I am nervous because I am forced to participate in social engagements: It ain't pretty! I cut, well actually I WHACKED over six inches off my hair and dyed it "spiced tea auburn" aka RED with some hair stuff my sister gave me a year ago (atleast it will go away after 28 washings), next I plugged in the curling iron I had stored in the closet for a few years and proceeded to make myself look little "Little Annie"! ack! Well, I can guarantee we will make an impression anyway.
(1) OWN it..it's your look. (2) Tell them you wanted to try something different, and haven't had it long enough to settle into it (which is VERY true). (3) Think about what you would do if you'd gotten it cut and styled at a salon...I had them rewhack my hair one time 3x in one week. I went from waist length to ear length to GOOD LORD let your hair grow!. All the time, I was saying "I did it 'cause I wanted to", and it wasn't so bad.

Let us know how it goes? Good luck!
 

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Yes I agree with TWO, you never know if you go into the party thinking I'm going to have a good time and not let anything bother me, it will turn out to be a good night, it's all in the talking yourself into it, I know i have to do that from time to time.
 

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I've found that, for some strange reason, if you drink enough at the company Christmas party you can't remember what happened.

Unfortunately, everyone else does.
 

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I hope you have a good time. We avoid work parties like the plague. Actually, we avoid all parties. Neither of us enjoys being with large groups.
 

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I am facing the same situation with having to attend hubby's work Christmas party and his Firmen friends christmas party too. Acckkk!
 

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Oh, can I relate on parties... BUT I haven't 'thrown' myself into the 'fire' like you did--I usually try very hard to disappear!!! I never know what to talk about, who to talk to, when to approach others... I just hate them.. My dh hates parties but after he gets there he can talk to anyone about anything and end up not wanting to ever leave...

I will tell you what my over confident, charming, always the life of the party children tell me... 'Mom, wear something bright, 'way out there'--try the newest hair style, the highest heels or something to make them say 'WOW', then strut your stuff...The next day everyone will be looking for that same look!!"

So, start strutting!!! Have fun.
 

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Been there, done that... last year, actually, was a new work situation for Dh and I cautiously prepared. I went and did NOT drink (so I could remember what everyone else did... ha). I chose understated, and felt, frankly a bit like a mouse at the dog and pony show... BUT, those folks gave away all KINDS of fun doorprizes, large screen tv's, major appliances, gift certificates for hundreds of dollars, vacations... I'm telling you, spared NO expense.

So THIS year, I have a new outfit that glams it up a bit, while still being 'me' and I'm really looking forward to it~!

I found enough folks who were very warm and genuine, and shared giggled in the line in the girls room, just like in high school. The only 'weirdo' part is that DH and I don't dance (we're the only people who went to a dance class for couples and for 'graduation had to dance with the teachers!!!) and there was an 'everybody up on the dance floor' number.... so awkward... but we survived.

Good luck! and we wanta hear the details!

dawn
 

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last year was the first year we haven't had to "do" the big Christmas party. It was SO nice! I can deal with crowds when I have to but its the small talk with totally clueless silver spoons that literally makes me choke. And the fact that dh is proud that I can skin and butcher a deer and tells EVERYONE doesn't help. Because then I had all these women who faint at the sight of blood and won't even touch meat without gloves asking me a zillion times how in the world I can stand to do things like that! Course it was kinda fun watching their faces get white and them guzzle their drinks really fast when I told them certain parts like doing a biology lesson with the kids.
 

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When it comes to party conversation, there is only one rule I need to know.

Talk about what the other person is interested in. That is what is really most important to them.

If they are shy or nervous, it will calm them and maybe get them to open up a bit more. If they are too boastful or obnoxious, move on after a few minutes. If they are a conversationalist themselves, they will gladly let you talk about your stuff.

It's really does not have to be that difficult. The classic timeless conversation book, "How to win friends and influence people", spells it all aout in great detail.

Every shy person, or anyone who want to improve their conversation skills, should own (and read regularly) a copy of this great self-help book.
 

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most people are more interested in themselves than they are with you
I've been shy most of my life, but somewhere along the way I decided to talk to people anyway.

Most people like to talk about themselves, where they're from, if they have kids, do they like the weather, what do they think about the food. If you show some interest in them people will generally warm up to you.

Don't know if this is an exact quote, but I heard somewhere, "If we knew how little people are thinking about us, we wouldn't worry about what they're thinking about us"!

You go home from somewhere and cringe about some supposed foux pas (SP?) you committed, but no one else cares. They've already moved on to what's going on in their lives.

Stef
 

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I can sympathize. Last week I somehow got roped into attending a wedding. Seriously I don't know exactly how it happened but one minute I'm watching TV and agreeing with "something" just so I can continue watching cartoons in peace and when the commercial comes on I find out I just agreed to attend a wedding next month. Guess that will teach me to pay attention instead of just nodding and going "uh huh...absolutely...yes....you're exactly right...what did she say...uh huh...yeah....how did you feel about it....yeah...uh huh...".

The worst part is that I got roped into dragging to one of the infernal things just a year or two ago and now I have to attend another. Oh and of course it is a big elaborate multi tens of thousand dollar extravaganza.

keerap.

Nothing good can come out if this. Nothing.
 

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I finally talked myself into going to the big Christmas party our hospital puts on every year and even found a great dress for it...and this year they changed the venue from swanky hotel to covention center at the fairgrounds. I don't have any idea what the dress code is going to be for the new site, and don't want to show up overdressed...I'll probably just stay home.
 

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I get it. I'm an INTJ as well.

It isn't that we worry about what others think. Cher once made an interesting comment about this when asked what she thought of her own 'risque reputation':
"I answer to 2 entities," she said, "One is God , the other is myself. As long as I admit the truth to God, it's irrelevant what others think they know."

It is that we do not enjoy crowds of new people or strangers. (Totally different matter though with the friends/family comfort zone.) We do not get our energy/motivation from socializing. Quite to the contrary, socializing is often very draining to us. LOL...we also most often think too deeply for all that continuous empty party banter. Keeping up a lot of endless chatter is difficult for me. :)

Usually we can have a good time at a party once we get over the initial dread of going.

Hope it goes well and you enjoy it afterall, LamiPub. Oh...and Congrats! on the new hair. Sounds fab!
 
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