Every dang trip to or from town, I am forced to stare at a whacked out neighbors Flaming Pink Flamingo collection. We're not talking about an insubstantial flock of Flamingo's either, there are scads of the critters scattered around their place. I am assaulted even in winter, when the blasted things should have flown to warmer climes. No matter how deep the snow gets, you can still see brightly colored Pink Flamingo necks or their upturned butts, erupting from the snow. For years now, I've dreamed of making a midnight raid for the purpose of Flamingo napping the entire flippin' flock. I think the only thing that holds me back is wondering how to get rid of all of them. The barn isn't big enough to hold them. I've considered burying them but even if I rented the biggest excavator I can find, I think it would take too long to bury them all without getting caught and judging from the rocks that work their way to the surface of the field each year, I'd be in constant fear that all that pink evidence of my dastardly deed would come back to the surface to haunt me. To date, their only redeeming value has been as a descriptor in directions to my humble abode. "When you get to the Pink Flamingos, just stay on the gravel road another six miles 'til you get to my place". Homesteaders have a reputation for being resourceful, so I'm asking, no, begging for advice. Their latest acquisition is a blow up model about six feet tall. I couldn't imagine where they would even come up with such a thing until I started looking around with the help of google. I'll bet you've always wondered just what a SIX FOOT FLAMING PINK FLAMINGO looks like. Now you know why I must find a resourceful way to rid my neighborhood of these creatures.