Homesteading Forum banner

1 - 20 of 41 Posts

·
Head Muderator
Joined
·
1,857 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Every dang trip to or from town, I am forced to stare at a whacked out neighbors Flaming Pink Flamingo collection. We're not talking about an insubstantial flock of Flamingo's either, there are scads of the critters scattered around their place.

I am assaulted even in winter, when the blasted things should have flown to warmer climes. No matter how deep the snow gets, you can still see brightly colored Pink Flamingo necks or their upturned butts, erupting from the snow.

For years now, I've dreamed of making a midnight raid for the purpose of Flamingo napping the entire flippin' flock. I think the only thing that holds me back is wondering how to get rid of all of them. The barn isn't big enough to hold them. I've considered burying them but even if I rented the biggest excavator I can find, I think it would take too long to bury them all without getting caught and judging from the rocks that work their way to the surface of the field each year, I'd be in constant fear that all that pink evidence of my dastardly deed would come back to the surface to haunt me.

To date, their only redeeming value has been as a descriptor in directions to my humble abode. "When you get to the Pink Flamingos, just stay on the gravel road another six miles 'til you get to my place".

Homesteaders have a reputation for being resourceful, so I'm asking, no, begging for advice. Their latest acquisition is a blow up model about six feet tall. I couldn't imagine where they would even come up with such a thing until I started looking around with the help of google.

I'll bet you've always wondered just what a SIX FOOT FLAMING PINK FLAMINGO looks like.

Now you know why I must find a resourceful way to rid my neighborhood of these creatures.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
592 Posts
now Bare....

here in texas.. you arent considered a real redneck unless you have a pair of pink flamingos in your yard...

my own pair are right outside my front door, next to the yard chairs and the potting bench (made from plastic crates, you have to have them too).

but, i do feel your pain, my husband, HATES pink flamingos. When we first started dating, my bathroom was done completely in pink flamingos. Shower curtain, flamingos embroidered on the hand towels, painted on the hamper and the trash can, etc... Well when things got serious, I was told if I wanted him to move in, the flamingos had to go. So, i retired them away to the goodwill and changed the decor in the bathroom to his favorite light houses.

I am allowed the two in the yard, because he understands the redneck need in me as well, as I have a couple of glass ones he has bought me over the years that are allowed to grace the BACK of the white aluminum christmas tree.

giggling

Lynn in Texas
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
23 Posts
On the assumption he's only doing it 'cause nobody else is, I would say try telling him you want to start your own collection. Then it won't be unique and hopefully having the "oldest" ones won't have any charm for him. Or.....convince him that flamingos carved out of ice are "cool" no pun intended.
 

·
Offgridkindaguy
Joined
·
792 Posts
Hey Bare..
You need to watch the Billyray Cryus video "Burning Down the Trailer Court" and get some ideas on how to clean-up the neighborhood.. :cool:
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
7,154 Posts
Bare, I had a pink and black shirt about 50 years ago that was the purtiest thing I ever saw. "I'm color blind"...
If you would take a spray can of black paint and give them buzzards a zebra paint job, you will be thrilled every time you drive by and view your own personal handiwork. Be careful they don't see you smirking too much.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,435 Posts
Well now.......I guess you just have to be thankful that they aren't running a meth lab ~or~ doing 'devil worship' in the front yard ~or~ hosting huge raves ~or~ .........any way you get the picture-if 'tacky' is the worst thing you can say about your neighbors these days, then count yourself as lucky. :D
 

·
Head Muderator
Joined
·
1,857 Posts
Discussion Starter #7
Now there's a thought! Maybe I could get a few like minded folks together and form a temporary coven of Witches Who Worship Flaming Pink Flamingos. We could meet once a month on the dark of the moon to chant and circle the property. May even be able to use the cover to 'air sacrifice' the big blow up one at least.

Obviously I've been going about this the wrong way in trying to think of ways I could get rid of the things, which I am certain would just be replaced. What I need to do is convince the owners to get rid of them because they have become objects of worship and Witch magnet!

::bare, busily sharpening his machete::
 

·
SW Virginia Gourd Farmer!
Joined
·
570 Posts
Oh cool, thanks for the link, I can add those to my flamingo collection!

I love pink flamingos - gee maybe that's why my neighbors are selling. :eek:

Actually I collect yard art in general. I have an 8ft inflatible pumkin in the yard now and will add the 6 ft turkey soon for thanksgiving. I have been eyeing the 10 ft snoman in Walmart. :yeeha:

I had a family of wrought iron pink flamingos in Denver before I moved but sold them, I regret that now.

The best thing about pink flamingos is getting on other peoples' nerves. :D

In Denver there was a company with a business in which you could pay to have someone "flamingoed". For a fee they would take their hundreds of Flamingos and set them up in the target yard in the middle of the night so when the person stepped out the front door in the morning all they saw was a sea of flamingos. :haha:
 

·
SW Virginia Gourd Farmer!
Joined
·
570 Posts
Do flamingo kites count? I have a huge flamingo kite hanging in my tree too. :haha:

Somebody stole my concrete white lions though. :(
 

·
SW Virginia Gourd Farmer!
Joined
·
570 Posts
havellostmywings said:
now Bare....

here in texas.. you arent considered a real redneck unless you have a pair of pink flamingos in your yard...

my own pair are right outside my front door, next to the yard chairs and the potting bench (made from plastic crates, you have to have them too).

but, i do feel your pain, my husband, HATES pink flamingos. When we first started dating, my bathroom was done completely in pink flamingos. Shower curtain, flamingos embroidered on the hand towels, painted on the hamper and the trash can, etc... Well when things got serious, I was told if I wanted him to move in, the flamingos had to go. So, i retired them away to the goodwill and changed the decor in the bathroom to his favorite light houses.

I am allowed the two in the yard, because he understands the redneck need in me as well, as I have a couple of glass ones he has bought me over the years that are allowed to grace the BACK of the white aluminum christmas tree.

giggling

Lynn in Texas
Oh no, if a guy tells me it my flamingos or him. I know what my answer will be already! Guess that's why I am on the singletree site. :haha:
 

·
Head Muderator
Joined
·
1,857 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
deberosa said:
In Denver there was a company with a business in which you could pay to have someone "flamingoed". For a fee they would take their hundreds of Flamingos and set them up in the target yard in the middle of the night so when the person stepped out the front door in the morning all they saw was a sea of flamingos. :haha:
I believe we have the operative words right here. Target yard...yeah!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
46 Posts
coalroadcabin said:
Well now.......I guess you just have to be thankful that they aren't running a meth lab ~or~ doing 'devil worship' in the front yard ~or~ hosting huge raves ~or~ .........any way you get the picture-if 'tacky' is the worst thing you can say about your neighbors these days, then count yourself as lucky. :D
I live in town (working on getting out), so I almost have to agree. I have a little salvage lot (and it's rumored to also be a meth lab) that I can't help seeing from my kitchen window. Down the road I have a porta-potty company, farther down, a firehouse (good thing I sleep sound).

I can't let my kids run around here much, but there is one little girl in the neighborhood I let my daughters play with. Her dad wears a really ugly anklet, but seems like a nice enough guy. My church is right across the street from my front door. It has a blue neon cross in the window that is lit at night as well as a caution yellow "God Working" sign. Since I put a fence up and got dogs, I haven't had any windows shot out, bikes or vehicles stolen, well . . . except for one of the dogs when she was a cute little puppy. We got her back when she ran away from the dog-nappers and a nice lady saw the tattoo in her ear and got ahold of me. I don't think she'll get stolen again, she's bigger now.

But OTOH, I'm with you on the flamingos.

Heather
 

·
Head Muderator
Joined
·
1,857 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
It's odd that starting this thread has dredged up memories that I had completely forgotten over the years and may be the start of my Flamingo hate.

When my grandparents moved from the family homestead to town in their elder years, they lived in a small house which was rumored to have begun life as an old railroad boxcar. Their material wealth was pretty non-existant.

When I stayed with them, I'd bed down on the couch which happened to have a large mirror over it with Pink Flamingos painted on the surface! My grandmother LOVED that mirror and polished it frequently. It may have been her proudest posession.

It's doubtless that going to bed and rising, directly underneath those brightly colored birds is the starting fluid for my burning hatred of all things pink.

If you read about a crazy man in Idaho going to prison for Pink Flamingo Abuse, just remember that my sweet old grandmother is to blame.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
519 Posts
If you read about a crazy man in Idaho going to prison for Pink Flamingo Abuse, just remember that my sweet old grandmother is to blame.

__________________
LMAO
What's the bag limit on those puppies and how do they taste. I always wanted to go west to hunt.
 

·
Head Muderator
Joined
·
1,857 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
Since I don't see any reference to them in the hunting regulations, I am forced to conclude that they are considered a nuisance species, thus are limitless. Don't even have a Federal Stamp, so I guess it's open season all year around.

Far as how they taste, I couldn't tell you...probably like chicken...rubber chicken.

Tell ya what Chas, if you take care of my population first, I'll put you up on my place for free and we can have a Flamingo Roast every night you return with your limit.
 

·
Head Muderator
Joined
·
1,857 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
Heck, I'll go one better. Send me your mailing address and I'll send you expenses to take a short trip down to Virginia to take care of coalroadcabin...that's just wrong.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
949 Posts
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: ROFL!!!


This has got to be the funniest thing I've read in a month!!! And the picture from coalroadcabin just about made me wet my chair!!!!

My sister moved to Florida about 20 years ago from Illinois and she absolutely HATES those pink flamingos. I need to send this whole exchange to her!! LOL!!!

Thanks to all of you!!!

H'bird :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
 
1 - 20 of 41 Posts
Top