[MorrisonCorner]

Tis the season, and everyone has one...

My favorite (uncomfirmed) is the guy in northern VT who hit his brother in law with a load of buckshot in his butt. His brother in law was up in a tree stand, wearing Johnson Woolen Mills red plaid britches and a red plaid shirt, but... "he looked like a raccoon."

BIL apparently recovered with no ill effects, but can you imagine the phone call to your sister? "Un.. Sue? Yea, well.. we're at the hospital..."

 

[Cabin Fever]

When the USSR disbanded a guy in Siberia was looking for ways to make his own money. So what he did was open up a hunter's camp in the Url Mountains. A rich German hunter heard about the camp He had always wanted to hunt Siberian bear.....but couldn't because of USSR restrictions. he contacted the owner of the hunting camp and inquired about hunting bear. Desparate for money, the owner of the camp guaranteed the german hunter that he would definitly bag a bear!

The day approached when the German hunter would arrive at the Siberian hunting camp. The owner was getting nervous on accounta he hadn't seen a bear in those parts for many years. But, as luck would have it, a circus was in town. The circus had an old bear for sale. The hunting camp owner bought the bear and kept it in a cage hidden in the woods awaiting the day for the arrival of the German hunter.

The day of the hunt came. The Siberian guide set the German hunter up in a tree stand that was next to a forest trail. He told the hunter than a bear always traveled down the trail. As he left the hunter in the tree stand, the guide dropped crumbs of cake along the trail.

He then let the circus bear out of his cage. The hungary bear followed the crumbs of cake down the trail toward german hunter. About that time, a peasant woman on a bicycle, came riding down the trail. She saw the bear, freaked out, dropped her bike and ran away. Being a circus bear, the bear was not a stranger to a bicycle. The bear got on the bike and started peddling down the forest trail toward the German hunter. When the shocked hunter saw the bear riding a darn bicycle, he........

 

[Cornhusker]

Oh come on Cab, you can't leave us hanging.................. :worship:

 

[Landlocked Lill]

no kidding, howabout the "rest of the story"!!!

 

[r.h. in okla.]

:haha: :haha: :haha: I'm rolling on the floor on that one. :haha: Good one C.F.


One of my favorites is when I was a kid my Uncle took me hunting with him. We got out of the pickup and he said to me "You walk in that direction and circle around and I'll walk this direction and circle around and we'll meet at the point of this big ridge. Well I took off walking and made my circle but I never did see my Uncle. So I completed the circle back to the pickup where we began. As I got to the pickup my Uncle was walking down inside the ditch by the dirt road looking for deer signs and stomping them out as he walked along. When he got to the pickup he asked me where I was cause he didn't find me at the point. Well we started discussing where we traveled and trying to find out where we missed each other. While we was doing this we was bent over next to the truck and drawing maps in the dirt. While we were busy drawing in the dirt and planning our next drive, deer were crossing the road on the other side of the pickup without us even knowing it. When we finished our planning and deciding where to walk next my uncle started walking down the ditch again and noticed fresh new deer prints in the mud and some were on top of his foot prints. I guess we were just a couple of goofies. Some of those deer probably still talk about the same story also.

 

[poppy]

A couple rednecks were out hunting, when one accidentally shot the other. In a panic, he called 911 and said, " Help and hurry, I just shot my hunting buddy and I think I killed him. What should I do?" In an effort to calm him down, the 911 operator said, " Calm down sir, it will be alright. First, lets make sure he is really dead". There was silence, then she heard a gunshot. The guy came back on the phone and said, " Okay, now what".

 

[GeorgeK]

Does a guy looking for his dog count?
the winter before last, we had a big ice storm, the roads were covered, the trees, everything. All the businesses were closed, and nobody else was going into work so I figured I might as well stay home and butcher a pig. I put on some old military camo's , strapped on my sticking knife (An arkansas toothpick with a one foot blade) I had one among several pigs that never could be fenced and stayed in the front yard. So I tossed some corn on the ground, in the fresh snow and ice, and shot and stuck it. After it had bled out, I dragged it through the snow around the back of the house, where the back step was a nice height for butchering. Then I heard a car coming down the drive, so I walked around the front and this guy got out of his car and proceeded to tell me how the ice on the trees was so beautiful, he stopped his car to look at it, and his dog jumped out the door and he was looking for him. Then as he finished that sentence he saw the 5 feet round blood stain in the snow and the bloody footprints going around the house. Then he looked at the big knife at my side, my frumpy appearance and the beard sticking out of the scarf, and started to walk backwards toward his car. I realized of course he thought I'd killed his dog and tried to assure him, the blood wasn't his dog, and if he wanted, he could come around the back of the house to see it was just a pig. That seemed to not be assuring to him and he started walking faster, until the other pigs that were outside the fence thought perhaps he had some corn, and they surrounded him. I tried to explain to him that he needed worry, Those pigs had never eaten anyone. I don't think he believed me, since he dove into his car and sped off too fast for road conditions. I wonder if he ever found his dog?