Family Feuds...

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by texican, Dec 22, 2006.

  1. texican

    texican Well-Known Member

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    Anyone else sitting cross-eyed in the middle of a family feud?

    I've had a low grade feud with several bad relatives, and all the good relatives have differing grades of feuding with the same bad apples.

    Recently one relative got hit hard by the Bad Apples... had a pen full of wild hogs let loose, around 1500$. Bad apples(BA)! Two weeks after this Bad Apples made a point of cussing out the Good Apple(GA). Good Apple decided to pull the cattleguards out because the gates were being left open, and put in a massive gate, with a huge lock...so BA couldn't let their starving horses in to eat GA's hay.

    Crazy loon BA threatened the GA in front of the sheriffs deputy.

    Wednesday afternoon, BA burnt down GA's hay pile...~200 rolls... I was able to get 18 rolls out, some still on fire, before my GA relatives could get there with the fire department and tractors to try and salvage more...

    This hay represents about 50% of my GA's feed assets... These folks make 100% of their income from farming and ranching... they're looking at having to sell most of their herd now... had already sold off a large part because of the drought...

    Now, GA's means of financial survival is being threatened... Things are getting interesting hereabouts...

    anyone else have any good feuds they know about?
     
  2. Chas in Me

    Chas in Me Well-Known Member

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    Doesn't sound like a good situation to me. Better keep your head down or th BA might start on you next.
     

  3. big rockpile

    big rockpile If I need a Shelter

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    Sounds like sneaky Childs play.With my Family it comes to Cane Hooks through the windows of Pickups,some Knife work,and a little Gun play throwed in.

    And with all this nobody has been killed yet. :shrug:

    big rockpile
     
  4. omnicat

    omnicat Well-Known Member

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    With my Family it comes to Cane Hooks through the windows of Pickups,some Knife work,and a little Gun play throwed in.

    Ye Gads. Destruction, Violence...I was expecting to post about my sister who's not the most emotionally grounded...but it'll look like a tea party with presents compared to that stuff...
     
  5. big rockpile

    big rockpile If I need a Shelter

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    Yea one of them came by my place wanting to know if he could borrow a Pistol.I thought best I didn't loan it to him.

    big rockpile
     
  6. Canucklehead

    Canucklehead Active Member

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    My FIL has tried to drive a wedge between my wife and I since before we were married. He does not like me since I am not Christian and I refused to convert and raise my children in his tradition.

    Even after we were married (10 years) and had two kids he brought "good" Christian boys around when I was not there, thinking my wife would "see the way" or some such garbage.

    I've given him as many chances as I can but he always seems to dig in - after I get angry he calms down a bit but then inch by inch starts with subtle insults until after a few months he is nearly "calling me out". I've cut him out. It is sad but I had no choice - it was getting to the point of him or me. One can only take so much before very bad thoughts enter the mind. He is welcome to see the kids but he must give notice (so I can leave) - this is too much for him so he simply refuses - then tells people he his not allowed to see the children. Garbage.

    Wow!! :flame: Do I ever get upset talking (writing) about this :flame:
     
  7. Reptyle

    Reptyle Well-Known Member

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    I think we have the same FIL...


    Another unpleasant note, I'm currently on one side of a feud with my mother's family...It's a long story, but basically involves them telling me...If you invite him to the wedding, then we're not coming...I did, they didn't and we'll never see eye to eye on the matter...No real loss though if their support is conditional (which it was).
     
  8. Billie in MO

    Billie in MO Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Yeah, I have a father-in-law who disowned his sister. All came about from fighting that ensued when their mother died in 1994. Sent her cards back, unopened with a nasty note that he no longer had a sister. What makes it bad is that his wife(#4) had been best friends with the sister since they were kids AND the wife's(#4) brother is married to the disowned sister. Not only has she lost her best friend but her brother, as well, as her nieces and nephew all because of her husband and his greed.

    They (FIL & wife) tried to lament their woes to us but after several years of us ignoring the subject and not taking sides they don't mention it anymore. Because I keep in contact with the disowned sister and he knows that so he doesn't bring it up any more.

    FIL and wife were here in Sept for his high school reunion (they live in CA) and I had pictures that were taken in July, over in UT of my Bill and his brother(surprise 40th birthday party) and their cousin (one of the above mentioned nieces). They saw them and didn't even recognize the niece. Asked me who it was and I told them. Never said another word to me!!

    Yeah, like it breaks my heart! I have my own issues with the FIL, like abandoning his own children, (even allowing 2 of them to be adopted--so he wouldn't have to pay child support for them, and complaining about the 3 he still had to pay for.) the sixth child died and he didn't believe she was his because he had a vasectomy @ the same time she was conceived, but when she was born she looked just his first born. Didn't matter, marriage #3 came to an end.

    I could go on and on but then my blood pressure would just rise. Thank goodness they don't stay with us when they come for a visit. We have a (gasp!) DOG!!! Oooh, can't have a dog hair on my $300 jacket!!! I just make sure I have plenty of activities away from the house when they come into town so I see very little of them.

    I am civil to them for Bill's sake (and Bill knows and appreciates how hard I've tried despite the nasty things FIL has done). For me the final break with the FIL came when my mother died. He was mad that we didn't call him to inform him of her death. She was termally ill, and Bill and I were in the middle of building a garage to put our belongings in so I could go back to MO and be there for what ever time was left. She was doing good, so I came home to help finish the garage and she took a bad turn and was gone. We had to finish all the nuts and bolts(it was a steel building) before we could leave so it wouldn't fall down. The day she died we worked until after midnight securing all of them, caught a few hours sleep, packed and left for MO. The FIL's brother lives here and stopped by that day to see the progress on the garage so he knew about my mom. He was the one who told my FIL because we just didn't have the time to call anyone. FIL told his brother to pass along his condolences and his brother told him, No, she is your daughter-in-law, that is your responsibility and I will not do it. The brother was so, so mad at him that he told me anyway. To this day, my FIL has never said a word to me about the loss of my mom.

    FIL has 3 great grandchildren, two of whom, he refuses to recognize because he didn't recieve a written announcement of their birth in the mail.

    OK, I have to stop!! The BP is rising fast!!!
     
  9. DixyDoodle

    DixyDoodle stranger than fiction

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    Wow, my MIL is sometimes moody and sometimes pouts til she gets her own way, but I consider myself lucky amongst you guys!

    I recently told my MIL about us having to look into putting my mother into a nursing home and her response was to tell me exactly what she would want done if she were to come to that state. Basically, she said, "I trust you enough to know that you would put me in the best place you can for me." Her son---the one I married---is the one that would do what is right. Her other two children are greedy, manipulative, and would do whatever is cheapest so they could get more of any inheritance there would be....which is why my dh is the executor of the estate should his parents become incapable. My MIL loves all her children, but she's not blind by any means!

    I guess in your cases, you have to just accept that some people never really get beyond childhood, and if they can't act mature, you have to do so for them. They can say whatever they want, but outsiders do see how it really is, just by everyone's actions. Don't allow them to manipulate you through guilt. If they don't like how you are living your life, tough. It's not up to them. You are an adult. They should allow you to do what makes you happy, and be glad for it.
     
  10. MaineFarmMom

    MaineFarmMom Columnist, Feature Writer

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    We spent the last five years with two bad apples making life miserable for the rest of us. In September my daughter and nephew were dragged into the middle of this mess and didn't tell anyone for over a week. They knew what was going to happen when my sister and I found out. That was the beginning of the end. It took six weeks of legal action and horrible, painful heck to get to the end but it was well worth it. I wish we'd done it five years ago. These are the best holidays we've had in almost a decade. We feel like family again.
     
  11. TeachMe

    TeachMe Active Member

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    My family (including extended) is pretty laid back and we all get along pretty good. Of course there are a few "bad apples" but they basically removed themselves from the family rather than doing anything against anyone else. They weren't disowned or anything, they just don't interact with the rest of the family--by their own choice.
     
  12. dcross

    dcross Well-Known Member Supporter

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    <<they're looking at having to sell most of their herd now... had already sold off a large part because of the drought...>>

    Texican, is there no insurance?
     
  13. Tiffin

    Tiffin Well-Known Member

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    I've been in the middle of a family feud for 7 years now. It started with an argument between two DIL. DS took their wives sides (they have to live with them) regardless. The one DS and wife are not allowed to see the other's children. DS's talked and tried to work it out to no avail. My DH and I are in the middle. The best thing that could happen was one DS moved to FL soon after which even though we don't see him very often makes things better up here in NY. I hate the whole thing. The grandchildren don't know their aunt and uncle. In fact, uncle is oldest's godfather.
     
  14. Old Vet

    Old Vet In Remembrance

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    Well I just ignore the bad aples and don't get involved in their fueds. I can do this because of the distances that seperate us.
     
  15. George in NH

    George in NH Well-Known Member

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    The worst it has ever been in my family is when one calls up the other and leaves a message that they aren't going to call again until the person they're calling calls back.

    I did have one brother get mad and hang the phone up on me once because I laughed about something he was mad at. I called him right back and asked if he felt better. I am guessing he felt great for having hung up on me because we talked and laughed for two hours that night.
     
  16. travisandjill

    travisandjill Member

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    I just had a huge blow up at my sisters because I found out they were gossiping to my own mother about me. We recently started to be more self sufficient (were originally city people with NO prior experience on this matter). So we try to grow and raise our own food for the most part. We got chickens and my sisters asked what we are going to do with them. We told them we were going to eat the roosters and have the hens for eggs...well that just did it! My sisters just thought we were the cruelest, strangest, wierdest people on the earth. They said "how could you eat your pets!" Even asked me If I had a mental problem. I then explaned to them about what they eat that comes out of a mass producing chicken factory, yet they are STILL in denial. The humerous part about this is one sisters husband is a fisherman and I know they beat the poor fishes on the head to kill them...the other sister is a animal control officer, and she kills animals all day long. I dont see how they are any different from me exept I kill my chickens humanely and eat them.
     
  17. travisandjill

    travisandjill Member

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    Oh yeah they also found out we got our first gun. Now of course they think we are terrorists and are gonna murder people with it :rolleyes: Tried explaining to them that they are for our own protection...and locked up at all times in our closet. Did that make sense to them? No, they still told us we dont have any need for guns!
     
  18. Old Vet

    Old Vet In Remembrance

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    Boy what would they think about me. I set here with a pistol in my pocket and severial guns all over the house. All of them are loaded and not locked up. well I guess if that makes you a teriost what would they think about me?
     
  19. Spotted Crow

    Spotted Crow Well-Known Member

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    Been in the middle of too many of these things, starting when my sister and I were born and my parents divorced...the current one is my uncle was mad at me because I didn't pay him back for his portion of his sister/my mother's funeral...he never said I had too and that came up because he got mad because we just dumped my mother's ashes and didn't go out in a boat and have a priest and all that... :shrug:
     
  20. texican

    texican Well-Known Member

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    thought about another family feud (not my family) going on in the neighborhood... went to the matriarch's funeral two years ago, and the preacher read out the names of the children, and grands, nieces, nephews, etc... when he finished, and went on to the sermonizing, four people in the audience got up, all in different locations, made a scene, and stormed out... Never saw anything like it... carrying a feud, into the funeral chapel... :Bawling: Seems as though even though they hated the poor lady, they expected to be mentioned as loving family members... whatever...