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Goshen Farm
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Discussion Starter #1
:D Was going to offer to swap siblings with someone but looks like I got it handled LOL.

DAHB stopped by yesterday while I was in town (to kype my internet). DD was home alone with DM. DAHB visited with DGGB for a bit and then wanted to come in and visit with mom. DD who is paid caretaker will not allow herself to be alone with DAHB in the house due to past sexual issues. So she told him to please wait a few minutes and I would be home. DAHB stormed off back to his house. After I got home she told me what happened...no big deal. Then DAHB phones me and tells me I better listen to him cause he is cutting his arm he is so upset about being abused by DD and told he could not see his own mom. I tried to talk to him but he would not let me speak so I just said "Sorry, not playing your game" and hung up.

Then he sent me a chat mail saying the same thing about how DD had abused him by telling him he could not come in our house. Said he was moving back to Tucson etc etc.

Sent him back a note telling him to go ahead and cut his arm off if he wants, I am not playing. Please let me know when your move out date is so I can deal with the utility companies etc. Explained that he is not allowed in our home alone with any female because of 5 or more instances of inappropriate behavior in the past. Things like trying to get his then 25 year old sister to have sex with him against her will (me) etc.

Today he sent a phone message apologizing for getting so upset, he is not moving back to Tucson but he does feel he was abused. I said welcome to the club!

Now I think all is good and DD and I actually got mom into the new shower this morning and no one [email protected]:D

Thus...proving that boundaries do work if you stay strong!
 

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Good for you, but you're a much better person than I am. After what he's done I'd cut him out of my life so fast his head would fly off, never mind his arm.
Yep i'd point him toward anywhere or somewhere other than where I am yesterday :thumb:
 

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He is still your mother's son so cutting him out of the family (even tho would be your preference) would hurt your mother. So your boundaries are absolutely right and correct. I really like your attitude! When these things happen in families its hard to know how to handle on-going relationships, but the number one essential is not to allow the abuse to continue.
 
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