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In honor of Why Not's Dumb Guy and her ability to laugh......along with my ability to laugh at myself when I do Dumb, this thread is a COMEDY thread to laugh at our own Dumb and the Dumb People we encounter. SMILE and try not to bust out laughing!

Our social life revolves around the bonfires on the beaches, along the rivers and in the camps. I can get a fire going anywhere and I like rip snorts! It took me 50 years to stop wearing boots and shoes I care about because if my feet get cold, I'm going to stick them in the fire until they're smoking.

That and climbing on top of the fire to drop another big log on top, hear the PZZZZT and smell the burn! I asked DD how bad is it? She smiled and told me I could make a fortune from the instant grooming method of hair removal. Yes, it was nice having those wayward curls out of the way, my eyebrows DID need pruning, the peach fuzz was gone. We giggled. The next morning looking in the mirror, my eyelashes were gone! The really dumb, when my fur grew back I DID IT AGAIN!!!!!! DD fell down laughing.

One night at a large bonfire known for its multicultural diversity there was a group of young people from Beijing. They were engineers working for Boeing. DD engaged in off the wall thought provoking conversations with them. She riffs pretty high and is very polite and entertaining. There was lots of smiles during the educational cultural exchanges.

Then two of the dumbest women I have ever met joined in to educate the foreigners. They are from my neighborhood, "sweet but dumb." It was kinda embarrassing as I watched these incredibly polite people paste their smiles and keep repeating, "Really?" The dumb girls went from explaining TV to taxidermy and that's where I lost it.

"They kill those animals and waste all that meat so they can have it stuffed on the wall!"
 

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Renegade Gypsy Queen
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These are some gems from a woman from my home town. You never really knew what was going to come out of her mouth.

"Oh. You mean pine cones will burn?"
(as in, burn in a fire)

Someone at the table, in heated political discussion, said, "And by then they will declare martial law."

And she piped up, "OH! Who is Martial Law? Is that Jude Law's brother? I didn't know he was in the government, he's such a good actor."

"You can't add anything to store bought cakes, you are a liar!"

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I still laugh at myself all the time...usually in front of people and I'm the only one knowing what I'm laughing at and of course won't tell them.

I will even giggle at silly memories like the one time, when crossing into Canada when I was little....at the border the officer asked my mother if there were any fire arms in the car.

Me being about 6, I didn't know that firearm meant a gun (we called them guns, not firearms lol)...I heard it as armed against fire...and of course we were! We had a fire extinguisher under the seat.

When my mother tells this story she will say, "And that woman looked like she was about to rip out the seats until she held up the fire extinguisher."

Maybe that's not really dumb...but it's a good story lol.

I was always a little different....in gym class once we were told to line up our toes....she just wanted our feet to be parallel to each other. I wish she would have said that because I got in trouble for "being smart" when I was having an issue getting my toes to all line up and when asked what the problem was I said it wasn't possible because they were all different sizes. whoops.


:facepalm:
 

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Renegade Gypsy Queen
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I don't know if these are actual folk-myths or just ... what the people in certain areas of Oklahoma and Arkansas grew up with or what but...I would have to say that a rather DISTURBINGLY large portion of people believe these things right now. I am hoping it's just the little tucked away back mountains pockets I've been investigating...but...one never knows how far these things spread.

"If you get bit by a snapping turtle it will not let go until it thunders."

"Cull any chick born in May because it will sleep itself to death."

"Circling yourself (as in on the ground) with a rope will keep you safe from snakes....because the snake sees the rope and think it's a snake so it stays away."

Okay.:facepalm:

Us Northerners have some tall tales and old myths but usually (usually) they have some sort of teeny tiny grain of truth or wisdom to them.....I don't know what in the world the above come from but....wow.

I was thinking of next time camping to surround myself with strips of tinsel....because then the snakes would come and see themselves in the little snake mirrors and think there was another snake and then just go away saying, "Ah, dude, I see you got this, I'm out." and go look for some other random person to see if they can snake up on. :p
 
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