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Do you spank your children?

  • Yes

  • No

  • Yes, when mine were kids.

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Do you spank?

26K views 133 replies 75 participants last post by  Terri 
#1 ·
This has been going around lately because of some guy who is giveing/or selling paddles to spank kids when appropriate for punishment.
I know that there are many old timers so I was hoping for a well rounded view.
Is this a "fad" that was once and is no longer? Or have people become so afraid of "abusing" a child that they dont use corporal punishment any more?
Or is this more of a thing for the city, worldly types?
I realy wonder what has changed so much? Is it the increase of people comming away from God? The ever increasing public eye?

I only ask that this thread stay civil. There have been a lot of bashing and pure hatred towards "spanker's" in the conversations I have been fallowing.
If that starts here Ill ask a MOD to close the thread.
 
#5 ·
We have only spanked for direct disobedience (continued and direct defiance).

It's been a while since we spanked as the kids are really too old for that to be the most effective method of imparting wisdom or modifying behavior

(flame on)

R
 
#10 ·
I know someone who adopted 9 kids....she had a consequence chart posted on the fridge, listing the consequence for different offenses. Spanking was only for something God would have punished by death in the Bible (lying, stealing, etc.).

I swat still sometimes, but am more creative now than when they were little. My oldest loves her food, so I will ground her from sodas or desserts for day or a week, depending on the severity of the crime. I will leave an offender home and take the other kid to a movie. I will assign an oderous chore. Somethings really get to them. You just have to figure out which kid hates which punishment the most. :)
 
#12 ·
I'm a mom of "young" kids (4 & 8) and I voted spank. I also would describe myself as a Christian and feel that spanking is a command from God. But that does NOT mean that my children are spank for every little thing they do wrong. Only one thing can earn them a spanking...dis-obedience. Any other "infraction" warrants a discussion in which we determine the root of the problem and work from there trying correct the behavior. They can fight, argue, act like kids and have no fear of being spanked for it.

This is working for us, it's not perfect. My kids aren't perfect and I'm not perfect so mistakes happen.
 
#13 ·
yes I do, but only as a last resort. First comes a warning, then time out/ possibly a grounding. After that though, if my children are still doing the same thing that had them in trouble in the first place I will spank. A spanking in my house is on the backside or on the hands, with an open hand. belts, spoons, switches are not used.

I can't stand going to the store and seeing mothers with children running rampant . While the mother sits there, either ignoring them or pleading with them to be good. For goodness sake take control, instead of standing there with a little meak voice saying "now, johnny, you shouldn't do that" ."Johnny, don't open that potao salad". "Johnny, potato salad doesn't belong in your pants" "Well, Johnny I guess I'll have to pay for that potato salad now". ....It should have never got to that point.

No my kids aren't angels. My five yr old has a major stubborn streak. However, she also is tought respect. I require and demand respect from my children. A child who does not listen to their parents is disrespectfull.

Now if a non spanking method works for your children, fantastic. And of course every child is different. What works or doesn't work for one. may be the opposite for another.
 
#14 ·
Well all I can say is I survived my Grannie's whoopins. Keen little hickory switches, and now that I'm older I'll be honest and say I could've used a few more! I remember one time we snuck down to the pond when she was watching us...we weren't allowed to go there ever. She tore my backside and legs to pieces when we got back.......seemed she's been calling us and we couldn't hear her. She'd called my dad home so I got another one when he got there.
 
#15 ·
yes, we spank, but I can count on one hand the times we have and that's with 4 kids. As others have said, only if it's the last resort. THat being said, I am creative with disiplines. I bet my kids wished I spanked more, rather than the highy thought out punishments I usually come up with.... :p
 
#16 ·
blue8ewe said:
Is this a "fad" that was once and is no longer? Or have people become so afraid of "abusing" a child that they dont use corporal punishment any more?
Or is this more of a thing for the city, worldly types?
I realy wonder what has changed so much? Is it the increase of people comming away from God? The ever increasing public eye?
People are afraid of being accused of abusing their child...depending on where you live cps will pay a visit if you spank in public, especially with a paddle or other item.

Some who were abused will worry about abusing too.

The city living increases the problem of "they" are watching.

I don't think it is as much comming away from God as it is changing standards of behavior and the desire to give the children a carefree childhood.
 
#18 ·
I spanked mine when they were children. As some others have said "not for every little thing." but when they were disobedient and/or disrespectful they were spanked.

When I worked as a teacher assistant a little boy asked me in a shocked tone :"You spanked your children?" I told him that I did and not one of them grew up to be axe murderers and that they were all responsible adults. He couldn't believe that I spanked my children. His parents didn't spank. Well, I saw him five days a week and believe me from his behavior in the classroom he could have used an attitude adjustment. LOL

southrngardngal-Jan
 
#19 ·
I used it as a back-up for mor peacefull punishments. The corner WAS more effective....excepting when it did not work.

If I spanked a child more than every 6 months or so, I would stop and review the less physical punishments available. I hated spanking, and so I used other methods when I could.

The fact is, the other punishments did not ALWAYS work, they just USUALLY worked. And so they were occasionally spanked.
 
#20 ·
Around here, nothing ALWAYS works... not spanking, corners, talking, time-outs, removal of privaleges... nothing always works. I try to discipline according to the wrong. Spanking is usually a result of more serious behavior - lying, hitting or pushing, or when a child is simply refusing to listen for a long period of time. We expect our boys to listen to direction the first time.
 
#22 ·
blue8ewe said:
This has been going around lately because of some guy who is giveing/or selling paddles to spank kids when appropriate for punishment.
I know that there are many old timers so I was hoping for a well rounded view.
Is this a "fad" that was once and is no longer? Or have people become so afraid of "abusing" a child that they dont use corporal punishment any more?
Or is this more of a thing for the city, worldly types?
I realy wonder what has changed so much? Is it the increase of people comming away from God? The ever increasing public eye?

I only ask that this thread stay civil. There have been a lot of bashing and pure hatred towards "spanker's" in the conversations I have been fallowing.
If that starts here Ill ask a MOD to close the thread.

I don't think it has anything to do with being a fad or being afraid of "abuse". I think that people are learning that kids get a lot more from talking than they do from spanking and following that, learning that there are ways to parent other than hitting. Spanking teaches one thing... do what I say or you get physically hurt. I honestly think that spanking is the easy way out. It takes a lot of time and thought to crouch down to your kids' levels and really explain the situation.

I don't spank because I don't believe in violence toward my fellow man. If I were to strike an adult, I would get arrested for it. What makes it okay to strike a child or baby? But yeah, it takes a lot more time, a lot more parenting, and much, much more attention to *not* spank than to do so. I have spent hours... literally... in a single day going over why something is appropriate or not. Yes, I lose my temper, I've yelled. But hitting is never an option.

The Bible certainly doesn't advocate it (according to my interpretation). People have manipulated the word "rod" in the Bible to justify their tempers. But the word means "teaching" in both the original Greek and original Hebrew, not "hitting". Unfortunately some half-dazed, tired old monk in King James' court decided to use the word "rod" because during that time, "rod" was meant as a metaphorical representation of a leader. And some tired old fool came along and decided that it meant a rod to beat the heck out of your kids. How can it be that a man, the son of God, whose entire ministry was based on "turn the other cheek", "love your fellow man", and "be kind" condone such a harsh punishment? He didn't... man misinterpreted.

Likewise, the Quran says the same things. After all, Jesus was a prophet of Islam according to that religion.

Spanking has nothing to do with God, in my honest opinion, and it's not even apropos to the discussion.

All my opinions, answering honestly.
 
#24 ·
If you are smacking your kids weekly, then you need to rethink. However, sometimes you can discuss issues until you are blue in the face, and get nowhere. My kids were spanked, but also a million other options. Spanking is for deliberate misbehaviour---pants down in the parking lot if need be.
 
#25 ·
What do you do, then, when your 4 yr old has been doign the same thing all day long - after you've 'crouched down to his level', given him a time-out, taken things away, etc? Keep talking to a small child who is obviously not listening? One day, they're open to my 'teaching', next day, they close me out altogether. So do I keep talking when I've obviously become like the teacher in Charlie Brown cartoons "Wah, wah wah wah..."? No. I show them that listening is not OPTIONAL, because I am the parent! because God gave me a job to do in raising my children and teaching them respect for others and for authority. I AM the authority. Parenting is not a democracy, it's a DICTATORSHIP! So in that way, I do spank - but only as a last resort, and not random beatings, but a couple of swats on the bum.
 
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