Homesteading Forum banner

Do you spank your children?

  • Yes

  • No

  • Yes, when mine were kids.

  • No comment.

21 - 40 of 134 Posts
No spanking here, just talking and listening. I would much rather talk things out then hit our daughter. I've had spoons and paddles broken on me and it never helped.

That being said, I don't judge others because what works for us might not work for others.

Paula
 
blue8ewe said:
This has been going around lately because of some guy who is giveing/or selling paddles to spank kids when appropriate for punishment.
I know that there are many old timers so I was hoping for a well rounded view.
Is this a "fad" that was once and is no longer? Or have people become so afraid of "abusing" a child that they dont use corporal punishment any more?
Or is this more of a thing for the city, worldly types?
I realy wonder what has changed so much? Is it the increase of people comming away from God? The ever increasing public eye?

I only ask that this thread stay civil. There have been a lot of bashing and pure hatred towards "spanker's" in the conversations I have been fallowing.
If that starts here Ill ask a MOD to close the thread.

I don't think it has anything to do with being a fad or being afraid of "abuse". I think that people are learning that kids get a lot more from talking than they do from spanking and following that, learning that there are ways to parent other than hitting. Spanking teaches one thing... do what I say or you get physically hurt. I honestly think that spanking is the easy way out. It takes a lot of time and thought to crouch down to your kids' levels and really explain the situation.

I don't spank because I don't believe in violence toward my fellow man. If I were to strike an adult, I would get arrested for it. What makes it okay to strike a child or baby? But yeah, it takes a lot more time, a lot more parenting, and much, much more attention to *not* spank than to do so. I have spent hours... literally... in a single day going over why something is appropriate or not. Yes, I lose my temper, I've yelled. But hitting is never an option.

The Bible certainly doesn't advocate it (according to my interpretation). People have manipulated the word "rod" in the Bible to justify their tempers. But the word means "teaching" in both the original Greek and original Hebrew, not "hitting". Unfortunately some half-dazed, tired old monk in King James' court decided to use the word "rod" because during that time, "rod" was meant as a metaphorical representation of a leader. And some tired old fool came along and decided that it meant a rod to beat the heck out of your kids. How can it be that a man, the son of God, whose entire ministry was based on "turn the other cheek", "love your fellow man", and "be kind" condone such a harsh punishment? He didn't... man misinterpreted.

Likewise, the Quran says the same things. After all, Jesus was a prophet of Islam according to that religion.

Spanking has nothing to do with God, in my honest opinion, and it's not even apropos to the discussion.

All my opinions, answering honestly.
 
Yes, but only when they new before hand what the consequences would be. Not anymore they are bigger than us and they are grown. Do I think we did the right thing? Look no farther than todays schools and crimes commited by todays youth. Then you be the judge. :)
 
If you are smacking your kids weekly, then you need to rethink. However, sometimes you can discuss issues until you are blue in the face, and get nowhere. My kids were spanked, but also a million other options. Spanking is for deliberate misbehaviour---pants down in the parking lot if need be.
 
What do you do, then, when your 4 yr old has been doign the same thing all day long - after you've 'crouched down to his level', given him a time-out, taken things away, etc? Keep talking to a small child who is obviously not listening? One day, they're open to my 'teaching', next day, they close me out altogether. So do I keep talking when I've obviously become like the teacher in Charlie Brown cartoons "Wah, wah wah wah..."? No. I show them that listening is not OPTIONAL, because I am the parent! because God gave me a job to do in raising my children and teaching them respect for others and for authority. I AM the authority. Parenting is not a democracy, it's a DICTATORSHIP! So in that way, I do spank - but only as a last resort, and not random beatings, but a couple of swats on the bum.
 
A punishment (no matter what you use) is only as effective as the parents are. I have spanked my children when the situation called for it......direct or continued disrespect or when they did something dangerous. When the punishment is applied effectively....not in anger, no 100 warnings - following through and being consistent....then it really only needs to be done a few times at most. Like others said, it is far and few in between. I do not spank for every little infraction.
In my opinion though you can spank a child all you want but if your not willing to PARENT them it will never work. Take out spanking and insert, time outs, removing privileges and etc and it is all the same. Parenting them.....never punish out of anger, follow through without tons of warnings and being consistant about rules....will yield more results than anything else.
And I take offense to the poster who said "violence begets violence". My children are not violent or would they even dream of it. They are children with faith, love and compassion in their hearts. They wouldn't dream of harming another one, even their own siblings. They are not perfect but hitting, pinching etc. have NEVER been issues in my house.That isn't because I spanked them. It is because I PARENTED them.
God Bless,
Michele
 
MicheleMomof4 said:
It is because I PARENTED them.
God Bless,
Michele
While I don't agree with spanking, I think this statement says it all. :clap:
 
michiganfarmer said:
The emotions of those who think spanking is abuse can not be reasoned with.
I agree. And I voted yes. I was spanked and I do spank. It is a punishment and only when truly needed. A proper spanking hurts to give(emotionally) as much as it hurts to recieve. If spanking makes the giver feel good(besides the feeling of doing whats right), then its not being given for the proper reasons. I am thankful to my parents that I was spanked.
And I will not babysit children that I cannot spank *if need be*.
 
booklover said:
I don't think it has anything to do with being a fad or being afraid of "abuse". I think that people are learning that kids get a lot more from talking than they do from spanking and following that, learning that there are ways to parent other than hitting. Spanking teaches one thing... do what I say or you get physically hurt. I honestly think that spanking is the easy way out. It takes a lot of time and thought to crouch down to your kids' levels and really explain the situation.

I don't spank because I don't believe in violence toward my fellow man. If I were to strike an adult, I would get arrested for it. What makes it okay to strike a child or baby? But yeah, it takes a lot more time, a lot more parenting, and much, much more attention to *not* spank than to do so. I have spent hours... literally... in a single day going over why something is appropriate or not. Yes, I lose my temper, I've yelled. But hitting is never an option.

The Bible certainly doesn't advocate it. People have manipulated the word "rod" in the Bible to justify their tempers. But the word means "teaching" in both the original Greek and original Hebrew, not "hitting". Unfortunately some half-dazed, tired old monk in King James' court decided to use the word "rod" because during that time, "rod" was meant as a metaphorical representation of a leader. And some tired old fool came along and decided that it meant a rod to beat the heck out of your kids. How can it be that a man, the son of God, whose entire ministry was based on "turn the other cheek", "love your fellow man", and "be kind" condone such a harsh punishment? He didn't... man misinterpreted.

Likewise, the Quran says the same things. After all, Jesus was a prophet of Islam according to that religion.

Spanking has nothing to do with God, in my honest opinion, and it's not even apropos to the discussion.

All my opinions, answering honestly.
If the quran says the samething then they need to start back spanking, because too many are growing up to be sucide bombers and if the word rod means teach then a "HOTROD" would be a teacher who likes to molest students. With all due respect, I don't agree.
 
People often speak as though spanking your child will teach him to be a violent person. Or that there is never a good reason to spank a child, there are always better punishments if the parents would stop and think about it.

I personally disagree with both those sentiments. Most of our parents where spanked as children and I can say that at least mine have come out with out violent tenancies. In fact I have seen my Father deal peaceably with people that could have used being clocked in the face.

As for there being better ways to deal with children, I remember much of my childhood and I will admit that I was a stubborn willful child. The few times I was spanked (I can count them on one hand) I had it coming and deserved what I got. I don't feel my parents could have found a better way to deal with me.

I spank my child, though I will admit not often. I come out of it more upset than he does. I don't feel I am teaching him to be violent, and if how he behaves now is any indication, I am right. He is a far more gentle and peaceful child than most of the children at the play ground.
 
Snugglebunny said:
No. I show them that listening is not OPTIONAL, because I am the parent! because God gave me a job to do in raising my children and teaching them respect for others and for authority. I AM the authority. Parenting is not a democracy, it's a DICTATORSHIP!
Sometimes I don't listen to my husband. I say, "huh?" a hundred times and he will walk off peeved at me because I was distracted and wouldn't listen. But he understands that sometimes I'm distracted, respects that, and we work through it. He certainly doesn't hit me.

Same with the kiddo. We ALL have bad days. When I PMS, I am horrible to live with and I know it. Some days, in spite of the fact she hasn't gone through puberty, dd has her bad ones too. I give her that right to have a bad day because she is a person.

We respect everyone to have equal say. In our house, being a parent doesn't make us dictator because we are all people. Every person is equal in their rights on this planet. Just because they are smaller doesn't make them lesser people. My job is not to RAISE my child to do as I say... my job is to allow my child to GROW into her own self. My husband and I are her GUIDES on this journey and I can influence her to make her own right decisions, but ultimately they are hers to make. I exerted more influence when she was younger and as she has learned her own lessons, I respect her decisions. Some are not good.

Example: "Please quit jumping from divan." "Jumping like that will get you hurt." Jump. Crash. "Yep, it sure does hurt to have a broken foot. Maybe you'll listen to me the next time." Next time she listened. Natural consequences.
 
I do. I try everything else to keep from it but if my children to not correct their behavior after other attempts, then I spank them.

Brandon
 
I have spanked my kids when needed, some more than others. I found each one needed different methods of dicipline. My daughter who is almost 6 has had 2 spankings in her life. I just need to slightly raise my voice for her. I have never used anything but my open hand to spank.
 
I voted "no" I don't spank but I *did* once. One of my children was hitting me to get attention and I held her hand and slapped her wrist enough to make it sting and turn pink.

I thought in that situation, hitting back to show her that it hurt was an appropriate reaction.

Every other problem I dealt with in some manner other than spanking. I was spanked as a child but I choose other forms of discipline now that I'm the parent.
 
There's a big difference between listening to my husband and my kids listening to me.
There's a big difference between a physical ailment affecting a child's dimeanor and outright defiance - and every good parent knows which is coming from their child.

In my house, it is a dictatorship because the kids think they can convince me I'm wrong when I ask them to do something (like go to bed, take a bath or clean up toys). I tell them "No, you can't go outside, Daddy's mowing the lawn and I want to keep you safe" and they start throwing a fit.

It's a dictatorship. I set the rules, they are expected to follow them. If they don't there are consequences. Sometimes, natural consequences work, most of the time they don't. I can't count the number of times I've had my boys do the same stupid stunt over and over again getting hurt every time.
 
Yes, although before I became a parent, I thought I wouldn't. I do it for two reasons, as a last resort, and for dangerous behavior or serious defiance, and I don't spank all my kids.

I spank my oldest, autistic child because he literally cannot understand when I'm angry at him - he doesn't get facial cues, and he often does dangerous things (because he doesn't know better) and doesn't understand when he's being disciplined verbally or punished in other ways. Spanking (open hand) is the only way he can understand "climbing out the window is a big no-no." I've done this a dozen times or so.

I have spanked my two middle children for direct defiance of an extended sort. I think I've done it 2 times each, but it might only be 1 with the younger.

I've never yet spanked my youngest 21 months - I don't believe in spanking before 18 months, because I don't think they always understand what you are trying to teach them not to do. I hope never to spank him, but it may happen.

Every kid is different, and I believe strongly in Michele's point that parenting is what's really important.

Sharon
 
Booklover... I am going to do myself a favor and not get started with what you have pushed off on us as biblical exegesis a few posts up.

Suffice it to say that human reason (you not understanding how this could "fit") does NOT trump Scripture. Christ - while very clear on the love message - was also very clear on the message of obedience, discipline, and the fact that we are to live as if "set apart". The rest of the NT goes on to explain that while the old law is done - good thing because the things we spank for were capital offenses - that the new law has very similar outworkings, though the motivation is different.

It is true that the word "rod" meant several things "back then", but to make a statement carte blanche that it did not mean a switch in these verses in Proverbs is misleading. Even if it did mean "ruler", parents are still the the rulers in the household. I will say that there is sufficient evidence in other related verses that shows that this likely mean rod of correction (whip or switch).

Anyhow... human reason is NOT equal to Scripture or divine revelation. Just because you can't make it fit doesn't mean it doesn't.

R

P.S. Wow... now I see that you've posted that kids and adults are equals where opnions and choices are concerned and I see that this is hopeless... please ignore my post above.
 
21 - 40 of 134 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top