I spent 27 years alone, the presence of another person was too much for me to handle, I thought I had it whooped - but apparently not. The lightest motion, any sound instantly triggers my PTSD. Its caused a failure in this relationship. In that it was cold last night I slept fully dressed in a wind breaker, upon moving this morning to take off accumulated pressure my lighter did drop out from my tee shirt pocket to the floor. I stanced, this brain immediantly searched the source of the sound, identified it, located it, found it non harmful, and reported. We are talking a milli second here. PTSD never goes away, it will not leave you, you must leave it. This life has been a version of a not acceptable word here. Soon I will return to aloneness. There will be animals present - those I can accept. They are not harmful unless I approach them aggressively. Combat alertness is very debilitating, you can not hold a regular job, you feel on guard at all times. I do not leave the house with out my multi tool at my waist line - any weapon is better than no weapon. In that carrying a .30 caliber M1 is not accepted social behavior I feel venerable always. In constant alertness, ready to return the approach. I guess this will go away at my death, hopefully, I don't want to take this to my next life.