Do You Hug?

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by ceresone, Nov 16, 2006.

  1. ceresone

    ceresone Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Referencing another thread, in which a person mentioned her childrens grandparents still, robot-like hugs, made me think of this--do you hug? our family never did-- i only remember my mom wanting me to hug her once in my life, and thats when she was in hospital, thinking she was dying.my sis and i talked about hugs, how our family never did-seems we carried on the tradition after our children were grown, of never hugging. sis says she has started hugging her children, and this week, she's in the hospital, and we decided we should hug. strange, we can hug friends-and yet not family.
    we just werent raised that way, and we're trying to break the cycle--and she's 83 !! hubby dosent want anyone to touch him, but thats his medical condition--so, perhaps people want to hug--and just dont know how--break the ice--start hugging them--feels stilted at first-- but keep trying!
     
  2. beorning

    beorning Well-Known Member

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    Our familial hug dynamic is complex.

    Siblings and cousins, et cetera that are from our generation all hug each other.

    Males from the older generations shake hands with other males and hug females. The females hug everybody (and pinch your cheeks, kiss you on the cheek, etcetera.)

    Kids get hugs all around from all the generations.
     

  3. IMContrary

    IMContrary Well-Known Member

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    The women in my family were all huggers, but not the men. Although I've noticed that since my dad has gotten older he always gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I first see him or if one of us is returning home from a visit. My brother hugs, that started after mama died.
     
  4. mamahen

    mamahen Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Well, I hug my son. He's 11 & still permits it :cool:

    My husband doesn't liked to be hugged much.

    I've always hugged my gramma & grampa, my son & husband. That's my list & I'm sticking to it! :shrug: :p
     
  5. Ravenlost

    Ravenlost Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I hug my son and he's 25 and still allowing it! My parents weren't big on hugs, well, my mom wasn't. My Daddy was more of a hugger. I have always hugged my kids every chance I get and it seemed to bring about a change in my family...we're all huggers now! My hubby is a big hugger and we hug one another lots every day.
     
  6. reese

    reese Well-Known Member

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    We're huggers, kissers and verbal expressors of our love and appreciation for those in our lives. reese
     
  7. Ninn

    Ninn Custom Crochet Queen

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    My whole family is a bunch of huggers. I didn't get them much as a child, so I knew I wanted my kids to have an unlimited supply. My husband and I hug every one of them. Even our children's SOs get hugged when they come in and out of the house. It goes a long way toward fostering a strong family.
     
  8. trixiwick

    trixiwick bunny slave

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    I do think non-huggers can become huggers over time. Our family wasn't big on hugging when I was growing up, and I certainly never hugged my friends. Now, whenever I see family or friends, everyone wants to hug. :shrug: I'm still not wild about it, but I don't cringe or anything.
     
  9. jen74145

    jen74145 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I hug hubby. We don't have our own kids yet, but I will hug them. Alright, and animals and children.

    Other than that, NO. And I HATE it when people hug me, friends, hubby's family, whatever, keep your friggin' distance. Alright, I have caved once or twice when a friend has been very upset (and felt so WEIRD), but other than that, I wish I could cattle prod people who get too close.


    Can't stand it when people try to change me by hugging me more... gah. I am not a hugger, have no wish to be a hugger, and never will be a hugger. Go hug the dog if you just must hug something when you visit. If I am visiting you, cross your arms, I don't care, but no hugging.

    Wow. Didn't know I had all that bottled up.
     
  10. WindowOrMirror

    WindowOrMirror ..where do YOU look? Supporter

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    Our immediate family is hug-o-rific

    We hug all the time... even my 15 yo DD hugs me!

    R
     
  11. AngieM2

    AngieM2 Big Front Porch advocate

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    Mom is a hugger, I'm a hugger...

    Older daughter's ice dance partner was from a non-hugging family. But, I'd always include him in hugs when they left for a competition. Over the period of a few years, he got use to me giving him a quick hug, and even sorta expected it.

    But a good hug is great, especially if you are both scratching each other's backs during the hug (Mom and I have been known to do this.)

    Angie
     
  12. Haggis

    Haggis MacCurmudgeon

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    I do not remember ever being hugged as a child; I remember being beaten, kicked, hit, hit with everything not nailed down, hit against everything that was nailed down, and used for target practice for flying objects, but I don't remember ever being hugged.

    I do try to hug my children everytime I see them and when they are leaving, Grand-Darlings as well, but I'm awkward at it; I feel uncomfortable doing it, they know it, they don't care, they love me and they thrive on hugs.

    For years after Herself and I were married if she touched me in my sleep I would jump completely out of bed; being touched meant being hurt, but I'm working on hugging.

    Don't get me wrong, I loved my Dear Father, and I loved my Sainted Mother, but they had issues, and they passed them on to me. :baby04:
     
  13. wendys_goats

    wendys_goats wendys_goats

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    My family wasn't much on hugging when I was a kid my parents hug me a little more often now. My 5 children(ages 28-16) always give them hugs. I always give my kids and grandkids hugs and the hubby too. Our church is a huggy church I guess that's where I picked it up from.
     
  14. jen74145

    jen74145 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Okay, see, I can't stand a huggy church. Feel all closed in, like I'm suffocating.
    Perhaps this is why I keep trying to talk hubby to run away with me and start a homestead in the deserted Canadian woods... lol.
     
  15. asher

    asher Well-Known Member

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    Same here.

    My parents did not raise us to hug and my mom always says it was our fault, we decided as kids that we didn't want to be hugged any more. Well TOUGH! She should have made us. LOL

    I hug the kids, s/o, friends, some family, etc. Still don't hug the parents or siblings, though. (Although I also have nothing to do with the siblings so...)
     
  16. midwsthomestead

    midwsthomestead joy seeker

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    Yep, we're huggers in this house--family and friends alike, babysittin' kids, the works.

    I grew up in a boisterous Italian family that hugged upon greeting, just for the heck of it, passing by, cause ya looked like ya needed it, for no reason and of course, when saying bye lol.

    That husband o' mine grew up just the opposite, but he must be a hugger at heart 'cause it didn't take him long!

    ~~
     
  17. tallpines

    tallpines Well-Known Member

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    Like Haggis, I jump, or cringe, when touched.

    My mother touching me makes me think of all the times she'd grab the back of my arm and dig her finger nails in until they broke the flesh.

    My DH is more into emotional abuse, and, given my past history, I frequently cringe when he attempts to touch me.

    I long for some gentle loving and hugging quite regularily.
    Thank God for grand children!

    My sons are open to hugs from me. My daughters will tolerate them.
    My Mom and Dad are 80 and 86 and like an occasional hug but it still feels awkward.

    I hug friends all the time now but it took me until 40 before I started enjoying and feeling comfortable during a genuine hug.
     
  18. MullersLaneFarm

    MullersLaneFarm Well-Known Member

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    Big huggers here, on both Paul's and my side of the family. Shoot, even children's friends aren't safe! My sons (18 & 14) will hug me ... even in public! DD19 is the biggest hugger of the family!
     
  19. papaw

    papaw Well-Known Member

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    this is dashley, papaw's wife............ we all hug!! Both of our families are big huggers. We ALWAYS express our love for one another too, in greetings and upon leaving. Our youngest grandshild is 19 months and can say "wuv oou" and blows kisses... :p
     
  20. Michael W. Smith

    Michael W. Smith Well-Known Member

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    Our immediate family never hugged when I was growing up. Oh, I would get hugs from Mom but never from Dad or Grandparents. Once I grew up and started getting hugged from people I hadn't seen for a while, it was "strange" at first, but now, alot of times, I'm the one initiating the hug!