Do you ever get depressed trying to reach your goals

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by dragonfly1113, Dec 17, 2006.

  1. dragonfly1113

    dragonfly1113 Well-Known Member

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    It took me a long time to finally make a concrete decision that I want to move to the country and just live a simple life. I started out small trying to get bills paid off and cut electric, water and other bills down to smaller payments. To pay off credit cards. I finally got things lined up pretty good. Little things started tearing up. My stove... Bought it new 5 years ago cost me over $200 to fix it. My dishwasher tore up... bought it new 5 years ago. Only cost me $50 to fix it. DH truck tore up... one ton chevy diesel. He had no knowledge how to fix it but decided he could do it. After $4000 he messed it up worse. Now we have to save for a new motor. Yee haw. So now my grand prix has decided that it wants to lay down. Transmission needs to be rebuilt. Great! Found someone who will rebuild it for $1000 so I will do that. So I have to save that $1000 in the next two weeks. My plans were to start saving every extra dime starting in Jan. I have a piece of paper on my fridge that says... pay off these bills before Jan. It would have happened had my car not tore up. So I have to shuffle things into Jan. Taxes county and city need to be paid but car comes first. I want to save at least $1000 a month. It will be possible to get that much or pretty close if things will just quit tearing up. It just gets so depressing because I want this so bad and every time I can see the horizon something happens. Maybe I should just be grateful that I am in a position that I can take care of things that come up and I am not in a bad way when it happens. I dont know. Have any of you just been depressed or frustrated trying to reach your goal? Does it make you value it so much more when you get there? I want to hear about some of your struggles and reaching your goals.
    Susie
     
  2. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

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    Yes Dragonfly, it is frustrating sometimes. Right now dh and I are going "around" with the electric company to try to get our electrical put in. It was a big, fat hassle and one major frustration after another. Don't even talk to me about the SEPTIC situation. We will be using "composting" i.e. sawdust toilets, but the county Nazis insist that we put a septic system in "anyway" for the gray water. I am dead-set against it, but dh says it is better to give in than to try to fight them. :flame:

    I can't wait until we try to get a well put in, oh and telephone service. That's going to be interesting too. We've been trying to contact WildBlue satellite internet for two months to get a system installed and nobody calls us back.

    Everything costs more and takes longer than you think it will.

    Hang in there!

    donsgal
     

  3. QBVII

    QBVII Well-Known Member

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    Yes it's frustrating at times, trying to reach goals, but OTOH it's exciting, too.
    We are trying to save money for some necessary things that we desperately need.
    No I don't get depressed about it because we are still in a good place.
    It's kindof exciting to have a goal and be working/trying to attain it.....after all, once you reach your goal....then what?
    You have nothing else to work towards. That would be rather boring.....
     
  4. stars01

    stars01 Well-Known Member

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    I understand and agree completely. QBVII has a nice outlook.....I'll try to remember that next time I'm having one of those days.

    Best wishes

    Paula
     
  5. DoubleBee

    DoubleBee Well-Known Member

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    Depressed? No, but it does seem like every time we get money saved, something happens to take it away.
    Both trucks are paid for but both need work that can't wait much longer.
    House is paid for, but now the city has decided that after using well water for over 50 years, we now "must" hook up to city water. I can't even afford the tap on fee. :shrug:
    I may have to have some surgery in the near future, and yes, I have insurance, but still will owe whatever they don't pay.
    I'm just hoping it will be simple surgery, and not require radiation treatments.
    I know from taking care of my aunt, that those are extremely expensive.
    There's always something to take away your hard earned savings, but no, I'm not letting it depress me, and not giving up my plans or dreams of building a small house on our farm.
     
  6. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    BTDT, got the T-shirt.

    One year, to my shock, nothing bad happened! So, I started land hunting, expecting something to break again. It did not. Still I did not believe it. Still there was money in the bank.

    It took me several months before I found a property that would do at ALL, but when I did there was STILL money in the bank! Nothing had broken YET! Mind, the pickup had 200,000 miles on it, but we put a down payment on the land ANYWAYS!

    The payments were $150 a month, and I figured that we could pay that-though just barely- even if we had car payments. So, 3/4 of the money in the bank went for land, and 8 months later the the old pickup died so the rest of the money plus some credit card money went for the down payment on a used pickup.

    We now have a tight budget and 6 1/2 acres of land. DH's car will be paid off in 5 months, so we will then start setting aside college money for the kids as well as making an extra payment on the principle of the mortgage.

    Was it easy? No. Did it work? Yes.
     
  7. WhiteChristmas

    WhiteChristmas Super Mom and College Kid

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    it's rough and sucks. we lost our house we worked and was paying for over two years when a foreclourse guy shows up and gives us notice that we've got 30 days to find a place and get out. the person who we trusted. my best friend and owner of the house we were renting to own. and had been drinking and druggin the money we were paying her away. and we lost our house. our long term dream was that quiet little house. So now what.


    we pciked ourselves up and carried on. during the two months. I cut firewood for money,waitressed,cleaned houses and generally everything I could to mkae it. my husband who is a vet who lost 60% of his sight in Desert Fox is still fighting to get disbalty cause of all things we can't make the appointments on time. oh heck just getting there is a trip. that envolves a month planning and taking a bucket load fo time off. involving greyhound or "friends" So where does that sit us. still not getting his disbality. I can't drive not allowed to due to my own medical condition. so we walk everywhere.


    We don't know the meaning quit. and never will. our long term goal is in three years to own this over priced trailor. at $8000. and a small piece of land. Will we do it? who knows God's taking us this far.


    off my soapbox White








     
  8. minnikin1

    minnikin1 Shepherd

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    One thing that might help ease your depression is to stop thinking that you have to move first.

    Start living the simple life right now. Moving should be just one of the goals you want to put on your list - not the first goal...not the most important goal....
    When you picture yourself living that simple life in the country - what is it that you see yourself doing? Think of the day to day stuff - Picture yourself getting up in the morning in the country and think of how your life would be different. What will you do first thing in the morning? What country foods will you be eating? What will you wear?

    Make it a point to do AT LEAST one thing every day that will forward your goal to your country life - even if that means just reading/learning about a new country skill.

    Write a list of all the things that the simple country life means to you -
    and do everything on it that you can right now.
    You can have herbs and veggies in pots in the windowsill. Set up a rig for starting seeds - you'll always need it.
    Anyone can learn to bake bread. Learning fit bread baking into your schedule every week and which recipes your family likes is the hard part....

    You can buy milk in bulk and learn to make cheese,
    You can buy whole farm animals for the freezer and learn how to make sausage, jerky, and cured meats.
    You can buy veggies in season to try canning recipes. Pick your favorites and learn how to can your bulk supplies. Learn how much you will need.

    Whatever your interests are, there are new skills you will need to learn.
    You might as well get started on them right now, so when you get to the country you aren't overwhelmed.

    That will help you feel better, I promise!
     
  9. DenverGirlie

    DenverGirlie Well-Known Member

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    I totally understand where you are coming from.

    I was underemployed for a long time, got a lot of debt in the process. So now, I make my monthly payments and then some. I have finally gotten serious... so I keep plugging away at the debt, it's going to be a few years.. then to start saving for land, house, etc, etc.

    It's very depressing, BUT everytime I see those debt numbers go down, even a little I'm happy. It's going to be a process.

    So I am mad about the debt, and am serious, but things do still happen. Life costs money these days... it sucks but I have a goal and I'm working towards it. I am taking pride in my goals and my strict budget. It will get me to where I want to go, it's just gonna take more time than I like.

    Chin up, your doing a great job!
     
  10. Macybaby

    Macybaby I love South Dakota Supporter

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    Took me ten years to achieve a goal I set for myself. The day I did, I sat in the car and cried, cause I finally did it!!!!! Had I not made that goal, being able to live they life my family now has may not have been possible.

    Just keep heading in the right direction. I think it is too easy to want everything right away, and some things take a lot of time to get there. Like minnikin1 said, start making changes now that will help you in the long run. Maybe it will be things like learning to fix some of your things, or do without if something breaks that you may not have once you move more rural.

    It will also help you find if this is a dream you really want to live, our just something you imagine you will want. I talk to people all the time who think they would like to live the way I do - until they see how much work it really is and all the conveniences given up to live rural and have livestock (and we don't even have much yet).

    One thing I have learned, whether you are working toward a goal or not, the years will go by. If you set a goal that may take five years, at least in five years you may be there. If you do nothing, the same five years will still go by.

    Cathy
     
  11. michiganfarmer

    michiganfarmer Max Supporter

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    It is disheartening. I understand your feeling. I dont nesessarily get depressed, but I do get irritated. I have similar situations. I want some milk cows, but I dont have a barn. The cost of daily life, and taxes makes it very hard to save the money for a barn, then knowing that when I get the barn built the county will increase my financial burden by raising my taxes. Its very irritating.
     
  12. dragonfly1113

    dragonfly1113 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for the replies so far. I quit smoking a month and a half ago and so did DH. That was extra money we could use. Well the quit smoking has made me just about lose my mind. But I determined to stay quit. I still want one really bad. And I eat ALL the time. Gotta quit that. I try to look at the brighter side of things. I know I could be in worse shape than I am and I am grateful that we are not. I really think my problem is the stop smoking and the winter time blues. I love to be outside, except when it is cold. lol When it is warm it is easier to keep busy. But it is comforting to know that others have made it to where they wanted to be. I have to quit being a "I WANT IT NOW" person. lol
     
  13. hmsteader71

    hmsteader71 Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I know exactly how you feel. We live in town and are doing what we can, which doesn't seem like a lot. My husband works 10-12 hours a day with a 45 minute commute both ways. So he doesn't get to do too much here that he would like which is discouraging for him. Even with being in town, we could have chickens if I had the room. I have a girl a street over who will trade me eggs for homemade bread so that helped. We installed a woodstove last year and that is the only heat we are using. We have six rabbits but they have yet to produce. I did a garden this year but lost most of it due to the heat and bugs.
    Here's our major problem: debt. We are both on our third and last marriage and after 8 years are still trying to dig out from under the debt from his second marriage. We would just get ahead and boom! we would have a bill from it. Because she had custody (at the time) and because it was in Illinois she refused to pay a doctor bill of $900.00 so we had to pay it. Every time we just begin saving a new bill comes that we didn't know about. But I have finally gotten determined. We are going to begin snowballing our debt at the first of the year. I sat down for 2 days a couple weeks ago and redid our finances. It is going to be very tight. And with 3 kids that isn't going to be fun but they will just deal with it.
    I have resolved myself to the idea that we probably won't be moved to the country until the kids are out. Mainly because we won't move as long as my dad is alive and his parents. His folks moved to Illinois from Alabama to be close to him, so we dont' feel right moving.
    Just hang in there. That's what I'm trying to do. One thing I learned this past week was that nothing in this world matters. Nothing except your soul. My daughters boyfriend was hit by a semi a week ago tomorrow. They didn't think he would live and God kept him through it all. He has no brain damage, no internal injuries, a broken femur which they are setting today, broken bones around his right eye which turned out to be slight fractures and is doing so well that he is keeping the nurses in fits trying to get out of bed. Saturday he pulled the feeding tube out of his nose 5 times in a row so they put mittens on him. They took them off yesterday thinking he had calmed down? He pulled it out immediately. He is 16. He is a miracle and this whole thing with him, seeing how God moved, has really made me rethink my priorities. I do still yearn for the country life. And we are still going to work toward that. But now, I'm going to try for the time to be content with what we have, with our family and with just living for God.
     
  14. Silvercreek Farmer

    Silvercreek Farmer Living the dream. Supporter

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    I used to find it real discouraging everytime something broke and cost us homesteading savings to fix. Now I just budget about $300 per month for unanticipated costs, nothing may happen this month, or the next, but the next month it will cost $900, sure fire, like the dw's trip to the ER last week for stitches! The amount we save for homesteading is no different either way, it just feels better knowing that we have already planned for the unknown expenses. $300 seems to be about right for us, with no kids, with kids it would probably need to be more like 500 or 600.

    All I can say is good luck to you, I am in the middle of a burn-out phase right now, can't quite figure out what I want to do with my life, I would have to quit a pretty good job to make any sort of significant change, but I need to do it before we have kids, and the time for that is quickly passing by. I read the suggestion to do everything you can where you are, and we have done all that we can, and that kept us busy for almost 2 years, but we are to the point where something has to happen. Sometimes I think I am a bit spoiled when I complain about not having what I want right now (don't want much, just a little homestead and time to enjoy it), especially after hearing about people that saved and worked hard for 20+ years to get their places, and we certainly aren't starving like so many people in the world, I should be thankful, and I think I am, but it sure doesn't seem to make everything okay. Oh well, enough with the self pity, time to get back to work...
     
  15. Ninn

    Ninn Custom Crochet Queen

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    I do get down about it sometimes. Then I look around me a remember what I had to go through to get here. It helps, sometimes, to remember that it could be worse, and frequently has been. Currently, we are just learning new skills and starting where we are. We have zero in savings and are coming out in the hole financially every week. I don't know where else I can cut back, as the homeschool program pays for my internet service and that is the only luxury in the house!! I can't wait for spring and planting season. Next winter will be better, because I will have made it that way.

    Now, as the song says--"If we make it through December, everything's gonna be all right, I know......"
     
  16. MorrisonCorner

    MorrisonCorner Mansfield, VT for 200 yrs

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    I think this time of year lends itself to discouragement and the blues. The pressure to have a perfect holiday, the perfect house, the perfect dinner... and, oh yea... guess what honey? Repairing the car is going to be $1200.

    And I put it on the credit card.

    Personally, I think the person who will drive you right off the deep end is your spouse, but maybe that's me.

    But yes, I agree. The toughest part is being almost able to see your goal on the horizon only to get knocked back again.

    And again.

    Grrrrrrr.
     
  17. Jenn

    Jenn Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Well done Matthew! This is something we all need to do when we budget especially making a choice on what to buy (how expensive) like cars or house or any gadget that may need fixing some day. A car you can pay cash easily for, still costs $30-$500/month gasoline, $30-$200/month insurance, and then if it isn't brand new $50-$300/month (on average) to repair. If it IS new, then it will start costing that extra amount in repairs after a few years if you are lucky, right off if it's a lemon.

    Even if you have the $200 or $700/month to make your car payment, if you don't have the extra $100-$1000/month (again on average) for those other costs your car will soon be drydocked or repo'd! Same with house- the mortgage payment is NOT the final cost.

    And all those 'unexpected' bills? Well if you move into an old house you can sure EXPECT to replace the hot water heater and/or the roof in the next few years if it wasn't just redone. Car the tires or if old enough the engine as well! So set aside that money, and when it still hasn't happened and you have enough saved for when it does THEN you can use that amount each month for something else. And no matter what the bank or loan officer says somethings are just too expensive for you even if you could make the payments or buy it outright.

    Good luck everyone- trying to figure out myself if I can afford my house after DH retires and if I'll have to go back to work to do so.
     
  18. WhiteChristmas

    WhiteChristmas Super Mom and College Kid

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    dang can't find a paying small job for the $85. to get the ppower connected cause the guy I did roof work for decided to stiff me. I didn't have to ask for help to get this place I paid for the rent and depoist. and now cause the dude stiffed me the power goes out on Wensday. ruddy jerk


    hanging my willing to do work for pay. sign out at the feed store and country store again. and praying.
    white
     
  19. tamatik

    tamatik Well-Known Member

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    I used to look forward to "the lite at the end of the tunnel" but lately ..its just another train.
    gord
     
  20. brownthumb

    brownthumb Well-Known Member

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    Depression is an awful thing. I think the worst part of it is that even when things are good we sometimes get depressed.