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I am obviously just up to late and rambling tonight. I am waiting for my two older girls to come home from the 4H Youth Fair with their Dad. I had to come home early with the 2 1/2 year old, it wasn't going pretty. They are waiting for the 4H/FFA auction to close so they can come home tonight with our animals.

My two older girls have completely opposite personalities. I love them both just as they are but they are very different. We do Dairy Goats, Meat Goats, and Chicken 4H. My oldest studies the parts of the goats, practices walking the goats, puts in time helping other people show their goats, so she gets better. My youngest puts in like 1/4 of the time doing any of this stuff (probably way less then 1/4..more like 1/8). My oldest never gets anywhere near like Grand Champion Showmanship. My youngest waltz's in, never haven show, and is barely beat out by an older more experienced girl for Junior G. C. Showmanship. My daughter ended up with Reserve because she couldn't name her goat body parts (didn't study) but it was close. Her Market Pen of Chickens ended up in last place but she actually got almost double what some of the other kids ended up getting for their animals at auction. Someone we kind of knew bought her chickens and so my husband went over to thank him and his wife, thinking he bought them for us. He said he didn't realize it was our daughter "she just was so cute we had to keep bidding". My other daughter, thank goodness!, did fine with her Market Goat but no one ever does anything because she is Just So Cute.

I suppose life is unfair but I'm just mussing tonight why some people can skate through stuff? I don't know if anyone else has a daughter like my middle child but people have always told me that she has "something", that I could get her an agent and commercials or things. I just would never even consider something like that. I figured if she's interested in acting she can do local plays or something. Beyond that, it's our little farm until she's 18. She just turned 11 by the way...on July 3rd.

I guess my point is that people just seem to "like" my middle child and my husband I should add. My oldest daughter and myself....well, we are much better on the sidelines, I think it's a mutual side line thing. We like the side line and the side line likes us.

I'm just mussing if maybe there is something like an "It" that people have? Some mysterious "It". I know I don't have "It"!
 

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I know I don't have "it" either. My 2nd daughter (out of 4 children) has "it". SHe could charm the pants off anyone without ever opening her mouth. She is currently 6 (today actually) and I wonder how life will be for her if things just come so easily for her? :shrug:
God Bless,
Michele
 

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Do you have to ask?? Look at the world. An unintelligent sociopath like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan make the papers, and make paper $$$$$, while there is some unattractive super talented person working at McDonald's because they aren't "pretty' in society's eyes. I have very ugly teeth...have had them all my life. I KNOW when people see me, that is as far as they go...they can't get past it, which is why I choose not to do anything about them. They function, and they are healthy teeth, and I will be darn if I go broke to make them attractive for someone to look at. People who get to know me like me for the person I am, and appreciate my friendship, people who focus on my teeth aren't the kind of people I would want to be friends with anyway.

Your daughter needs you to focus on HER, not how cute she is, or how attractive other people see her...that is shallow.
 

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Life is fair. It is exactly as it should be. Second guessing it is second guessing the Power.

Everyone has gifts. Humans label some of them better than others.
 

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I know exactly what you mean, morningstar! It's a fact of life.

Some know they have It and some don't. At one extreme, you have the Paris Hiltons who know it, use it and take full advantage of it at the expense of others.

At the other end of the spectrum is the little girl who gets a good price for her market chickens because she looked cute. Nothing evil going on there, and hopefully she may have an easier life because of It.

I wouldn't turn down a little It if it was offered to me :D

/VM
 

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Yes, some people just have "it". Charm, charisma, personality, whatever you want to call it, some folks seem to have it in abundance.

Then the are the folks with looks. But, looks and "it" don't always go hand in hand. I, and I suspect everyone, knows people that are average to homely looking that are so personable that they get along just fine in life. As an example we have a friend that is skinny, not at all pretty, but she is intelligent, witty, and so sweet, everyone loves to be around her. Her personality is such that after people get to know her looks are soon irrelevant.

I personally prefer the company of charmers like her than some allegedly pretty witch. Vickies mom, I agree with you on the nutcases like the ones you mentioned. And as an aside, I think Paris Hilton is downright ugly.
 

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MorningStar, as a parent all you can do is teach your children the direction you hope they will go in, and set the best examples for them to live by.

If you feel other people's reaction to your daughter's good looks, and charming personality is influencing her behavior in a direction you would not like to see her go - voice your concerns in a manner that will hold her accountable for her own actions, but not the actions of others.

Don't worry too much about the daughter who does not yet get as much attention from others; she sounds like she gets it just fine and doesn't have a problem with it. Now, if she comes to you or complains about it - use that opportunity talk about how life has a way of teaching us lessons whether we wish to learn them or not.

Hugs,
Marlene
 

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My oldest son (11) has "it". He is very popular with all the other kids craving his friendship. Even the new kids at park day this week knew his name and were talking about him. Even the grownups love him and say how nice and polite and grown up he is. He's a star - no doubt about it. He also gets more phone calls than I do from friends wanting to talk.
 

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Many years ago, when my DD was in Junior High, there was a girl who bugged her constantly because she was popular and everyone liked her. My DD wasn't exceptionally pretty. In fact, she was going through the 'ugly duckling' stage. BUT, she was friendly and kind to everyone.

One day DD came to me about how to shut this girl up as it was getting tiresome. I told her to just tell the girl that when you got IT, you got IT! She did and shut that girl up.

You see, that girl was so busy being jealous and petty that nobody liked her.

I wouldn't worry about it at all. Everyone of us has certain God given gifts....like me....I'm charming, pretty and modest :rolleyes: !
 

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Discussion Starter #10
Thank you all. Not to worry, nobody focuses on "it" much around here. I don't know if she REALLY knows or not. She's always been homeschooled and around her family and a sister who certainly doesn't think much of her "it" factor :) It comes up sometimes though, like with getting a good price on her meat birds or people telling me how beautiful she is, charming, ect. She is a very sweet girl. Let's just say though that I am happy that we have the life we do, it's hard to get too full of yourself when you have to muck out the goat barn or milk every morning.

I should add that everything is not easy for her. She really struggles with schoolwork and is dyslexic. On the other hand my older daughter excels in her studies. They are both just so different. I never realized before I had children that two children, born 3 years apart, from the same parents, same parenting, would turn out so different and look so different. Oh well, I love them both so much and try to steer them the right direction wherever their hearts might lead them.
 

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Yes, my youngest son is this way! In school--he drove the teachers crazy-- he didn't study,he could read 'though' a book and give you a book report, he talked in class, was the class clown BUT test day he makes a 100+ extra bonus points everytime. He was great in every sport--even though he only half-heartily practiced--winning state championships, MVP in high school, setting records, and a full college scholarship. His college coach made the statement that DS was the "ONLY child in 34yrs of coaching that he could not stay mad at! He always seems to make me laugh at my own anger!"
Three yrs. ago we were at a huge Christmas party with many, many friends and their adult children. My son was invited but was going to be a little late. We arrived early and saw many people arrive with no 'fan fare'! DS opens the door and the room becomes quite and everyone looks at the door and they collectively say his name and laugh, A big 'hello'-then chatter begins! MY other children have often made comments like 'what are we chopped liver' but now as adults they know he has 'IT" and they seem drawn to him as well! He is always the first with a hug, kiss or smile. He is not afraid to stand up for the underdog and has always challanged ANYONE who he feels isn't fair or who treats others with disrespect! He eludes self confindence, he is proud. His job is a cake walk for him and he has moved up the 'ladder' quickly! QB
 
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morningstar said:
I guess my point is that people just seem to "like" my middle child and my husband I should add. My oldest daughter and myself....well, we are much better on the sidelines, I think it's a mutual side line thing. We like the side line and the side line likes us.

I'm just mussing if maybe there is something like an "It" that people have? Some mysterious "It". I know I don't have "It"!
I think some people do have "it".

My brother, even though he has had 3 drunk driving convictions, seems very well liked by everybody he meets...specially women.
 
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