Dilema

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by GoldenMom, Nov 26, 2006.

  1. GoldenMom

    GoldenMom Well-Known Member

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    So what would you do? My SIL gave me a check for my birthday (I don't know why she even did that, we have never exchanged gifts for adults just the little kids-maybe she felt a little guilty since DH and I are pretty generous with her daughter but we don't have any kids of our own?). It was for $20 which is not a lot of money but they don't really have all that much so I think it was a pretty big gift (at least that's my perspective). I didn't cash it right away as I knew I was going to have several checks coming in from turkey sales and I don't get to the bank hardly ever (I waited maybe 3 weeks to cash it). Well yesterday the check was sent back to me from my bank NSF. Neither DH or I are exceptionally close to SIL as far as having heart to heart talks or anything and I'm at a loss of what to do. My instinct is to not say anything (even though the gift will now cost me $5 in bank charges). But I'm afraid then that she'll realize at some point that the check didn't go through-does the bank tell the person when a check doesn't clear (I've never had one not clear)? And if I don't bring it up now that she'll be more embarassed later. I just don't know how to handle this now. And how should I handle it in the future-should I just not cash a check knowing that they really can't afford it? Or cash it right away? Or insist that she take it back? I really don't want to insult her, but I don't want her giving me things that she can't afford. I'd rather see her get something nice for her daughter.
     
  2. AngieM2

    AngieM2 Big Front Porch advocate

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    That check not going thru will have just had the bank delete approximately $29 or $35 out of her checking accuont and may cause a snowball effect of bounced checks if she runs close to the exact amount in the checking account.

    The waiting 3 weeks or more is why I almost never write a check that can lay dormant then show up out of no where to cause havock.

    I'd get in touch with the sister. She may be able to transfer some funds into checking before the NSF fee comes out to keep other things from bouncing.

    Angie
     

  3. MarleneS

    MarleneS Well-Known Member

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    Banks let their customers know about NSF checks and also charge them an overdraft fee. I would not attempt to run it back thought the bank, and I would not say anything unless your sister-in-law brings it up, then I would be honest with her about it not being necessary to send gifts and such just having her as a sister-in-law being gift enough.

    My MIL is on a fixed income, and just loves to send everyone a check in their birthday cards, she has seven children so you can imagine what that ends up being annually. Husband and I never cash her checks, I figure if she ever questions me about one I'll make a big deal out of being an idiot and leaving it in the card "by mistake" :) After I'm busted, I'll make sure to enclose a check with her gifts to cover the ones she insist we cash, I figure she can't complain about receiving a check too right?

    Hugs
    Marlene
     
  4. Bink

    Bink Well-Known Member

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    As long as you go by the balance in your checkbook instead of the balance the bank claims, you should be okay.

    I wouldn't bring it up to the SIL either. I think that mentioning it to her might sound too much like you're demanding your $20. ;)
     
  5. Beltane

    Beltane Enjoying Four Seasons

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    I probably wouldn't try to cash the check again. I have been trying really hard lately to encourage people not to buy gifts for us or give us money.

    It's a bummer that she'll have at least a $25 bounced check fee to pay to the bank. I hope that doesn't start other things bouncing. :Bawling:
     
  6. RedTartan

    RedTartan Icelandic Sheep Supporter

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    Oh, how horrible. :(

    It'll be embarrassing for everyone, but I'd have to call her to tell her so she doesn't wind up with huge overdraft fees. If she still tries to give you money for your birthday, find a nice way to refuse it.

    Eeep.

    RedTartan
     
  7. Peacock

    Peacock writing some wrongs Supporter

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    I don't have an answer...it's a terrible situation to be in.

    I'm terrible at balancing my checkbook, but I do subtract the checks that haven't cleared from the balance the bank says I have before writing checks. Those debit cards mess me up big time.

    This reminds me of a situation many years ago with my grandma. She was in the earliest stages of Alzheimer's (we didn't know it yet though) and wrote me a $20 check for my birthday, which was nothing unusual. When I took it to the bank, which I guess was the same bank, different branch, the teller looked at her account before processing it and told me there wasn't enough in her account. So of course I didn't cash it -- never did. I just thought that was SO nice of them to do that for both of us and save us both some fees and embarrassment. Too bad banks won't do that nowadays.
     
  8. Bink

    Bink Well-Known Member

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    I don't know. I figure if she was twenty dollars or less away from being in the hole, she probably isn't writing a whole boatload of checks on that account. If she is, that may go a ways toward explaining why they don't have much money.

    It's said that it's the thought that counts. I'd say if she ever gives Goldenmom another check, to appreciate the gesture, but don't try to cash it.
     
  9. GoldenMom

    GoldenMom Well-Known Member

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    Thanks everybody. Glad to know that most everyone feels the same way I do. I wish it had never happened. It's just embarassing to all involved. I REALLY hope she never brings it up. And yep I don't think I'll ever try to cash another gift check from her again-they need it more than I do!
     
  10. mightybooboo

    mightybooboo Well-Known Member

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    Thats the answer,otherwise it might cause them serious problems in bank fees.You need to give her a warning something is wrong.

    BooBoo
     
  11. AngieM2

    AngieM2 Big Front Porch advocate

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    and if you never try to cash a check from them again, they need to know in advance so their books will balance and they won't wonder when/if it will ever try to be cashed.

    Angie
     
  12. Peacock

    Peacock writing some wrongs Supporter

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    OH...I know how to handle it. Tell your SIL what happened and give her back the check, saying something about how you know she'll want to look into it because banks have been known to make mistakes and she'll want to get her account straightened out. It puts the blame on the bank, saving her embarrassment, even if it really is her own fault.
     
  13. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

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    Believe me, she knows it bounced to the tune of probably about $30 which is what they charge HER on NSF checks.

    Apparently, she is not very good with her checkbook. If I were you I would just forget about it and not mention it unless she does. After all it's the thought that counts.

    If I were you I'd find another bank. No way should YOU be penalized ($5) for someobody elses error. I'd go raise merry hell with my bank if they had the NERVE to charge me. And I'd get an account elsewhere if they did not refund that fee IMMEDIATELY. How absurd.

    donsgal
     
  14. Bink

    Bink Well-Known Member

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    On the other hand, if they just pretend it's not in there, it can make for decent "bounce insurance", and maybe they can prevent this kind of embarrassment and fees in the future.

    If a check was for 157.16, I'd enter it as a deposit for 157.00 or 155.00 or 150.00 depending on how flush I was. Every other of my paychecks were greater because health insurance was only taken out of one check. I'd enter in the lesser amount every time. I've never, ever bounced a check. There's nothing wrong with thinking you have a little less in the account than you actually have. :)
     
  15. morrowsmowers

    morrowsmowers Well-Known Member

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    I'm surprised they only charged $5 -- m any banks around here charge $25 - $35 for a bad deposit just like a bad check -- which is rediculous since it really costs them nothing -- but I have never seen a bank that doesn't charge for a bad deposit.

    Ken in Glassboro, NJ