So what would you do? My SIL gave me a check for my birthday (I don't know why she even did that, we have never exchanged gifts for adults just the little kids-maybe she felt a little guilty since DH and I are pretty generous with her daughter but we don't have any kids of our own?). It was for $20 which is not a lot of money but they don't really have all that much so I think it was a pretty big gift (at least that's my perspective). I didn't cash it right away as I knew I was going to have several checks coming in from turkey sales and I don't get to the bank hardly ever (I waited maybe 3 weeks to cash it). Well yesterday the check was sent back to me from my bank NSF. Neither DH or I are exceptionally close to SIL as far as having heart to heart talks or anything and I'm at a loss of what to do. My instinct is to not say anything (even though the gift will now cost me $5 in bank charges). But I'm afraid then that she'll realize at some point that the check didn't go through-does the bank tell the person when a check doesn't clear (I've never had one not clear)? And if I don't bring it up now that she'll be more embarassed later. I just don't know how to handle this now. And how should I handle it in the future-should I just not cash a check knowing that they really can't afford it? Or cash it right away? Or insist that she take it back? I really don't want to insult her, but I don't want her giving me things that she can't afford. I'd rather see her get something nice for her daughter.