Depressed...

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by New Mexican, Aug 4, 2004.

  1. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    454
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Location:
    New Mexico
    ...cause dh and I HAVE to work in the "city" to be able to LIVE in the country. Neither of us have any retirement income (me, 47, he 54). We come home cranky....he teaches and I am an operations mgr.

    It's so hard to enjoy our "homesteading life" when we have to put up with those RICH folks who are spoiled and just waste money left and right. I'm tired of babysitting them. They THINK money buys happiness but in fact, money is just a tool for us. We NEED it to live.

    As you can see, I'm having a BAD day. I wish we could just live simply and SMALL without HAVING to work to live!!

    UGH :no:
     
  2. sisterpine

    sisterpine Goshen Farm Supporter

    Messages:
    7,234
    Joined:
    May 9, 2004
    Location:
    Zone 8a, AZ
    I am so sorry your day has been so crappy. I know the feelings you are having as I have had them myself. My husband is retired but has gone back to working part time and I am still working full time too. But you know the very best part of my day is when I turn in the gate to my mountain top hideaway! No one can get to me here as I go around watering plants and feeding chickens before cooking supper. The few hours I get to spend here each evening remind me that I will not always have to work to enjoy my private place. I am 52 and DH is 57, we work evenings and weekends on making our place our "dream come true". So you just hang in there and don't let the rich folks get you down! There is so much to enjoy that does not cost money and you have found the very best by living in the country!
     

  3. Stand_Watie

    Stand_Watie Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    115
    Joined:
    May 22, 2004
    Location:
    Texas - midway between Dallas and Tyler
    I hear you there NewMexican.

    I drive into Dallas for work and hate the drive. 62 miles each way :waa: But living in the country is worth the drive, I just wish I didn't have to.
     
  4. JulieNC

    JulieNC Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    441
    Joined:
    May 29, 2002
    Don't worry about the "rich." The fact that you believe they may spend money foolishly really shouldn't affect you one way or another unless they're doing things that affect your life (like pushing for zoning changes).

    Rather, focus on what you can do to make your life more rewarding. If you don't have time for a big garden, plant a small one. Think of simple projects that cost little or no money--like planting a small garden, building a compost bin, raising a few chickens, putting in a small herb bed near the house, etc. Focus on things that really make you happy.

    It may be that between your work hours and commute, you're trying to do too much on your homestead and wind up enjoying very little.

    Hang in there--we all have bad days. What we need to be careful of, though, is letting the bad days define our lives. I know that when I get down, it's sometimes hard to remember all of the things we have to be grateful of. So I try to incorporate time into each day to count my blessings. Some days I'm in such a foul mood that I can only grudgingly come up with a couple, but most days I can think of tons. :)
     
  5. Beeman

    Beeman Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,977
    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2002
    Location:
    East TN
    I understand your crankyness but the reality is that you use your money to try and but happiness too. Your form of happiness is your place out of town.
     
  6. Anyone that thinks money can't happyness........Doesn't know where to shop.
     
  7. Haggis

    Haggis MacCurmudgeon

    Messages:
    2,246
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2004
    Location:
    Northeastern Minnesota
    If one cannot find happiness in this life, one can always make a "to do" list for the next life.

    Find a way to make your life more pleasant or eliminate those things that make your life unpleasant.

    It's easier done than said.
     
  8. Jan Doling

    Jan Doling Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,898
    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Location:
    Zone 9b
    Things could be worse...you could be having a crappy day and have to live in the city. too! I commute an hour each way daily and live for the part of my drive that is past homesteads. I admire the land, stock & wildlife until I have to get on the expressway for the drive to work. Then I pop in a book-on-tape. Saturdays I play "Farmer Jan" and get to enjoy the chickens, geese, bunnies, etc. and putter around the plants. If you didn't have the job, you would probably not be able to keep the homestead and would have to live in a city, so look at the bright side.
     
  9. diane

    diane Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,983
    Joined:
    May 4, 2002
    Location:
    South Central Michigan
    "But ah got bad new for yew...that kinda livin' means MORE workin' to live, not less...its jest a different kinda work, is all."

    Boy ain't that the truth!! I love my simply, homesteading way of life but it sure isn't less hours by any means :no:

    Unless we are of the welfare persuasion, we will all work to live......just a fact of life. :yeeha:
     
  10. Jane in southwest WI

    Jane in southwest WI Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    143
    Joined:
    May 14, 2002
    I am fortunate in that I have a corporate job and can do it from home in the country. Technology is making it possible for more and more people to do this, if your job function mainly involves talking on the phone and sitting behind a computer.

    If companies are increasingly eager to outsource jobs to India and China, then there should be no reason why they shouldn't allow more people working here in the U.S. to telecommute. The benefits for companies and workers are great, but perhaps the biggest benefit is a cleaner environment and saving a precious natural resource - oil. When it becomes too costly to commute by car, maybe more companies will have no choice but to allow telecommuting.

    Even with telecommuting, my job is stressful at times. Every year seems harder than the year before. I often wish I didn't have to work for a company and could just "homestead" full time.
     
  11. Haggis

    Haggis MacCurmudgeon

    Messages:
    2,246
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2004
    Location:
    Northeastern Minnesota
    I had two Grandfathers who both had 40 acres.

    One of them of lived and farmed in Indiana, of more recent Scottish descent strived to keep up with his neighbors all of whom had very large farms. Grandfather milked his small dairy herd by hand until he was too old to continue, sold the herd, retired, and promptly died at the age of 69 leaving behind 40 acres and an old house.

    His was a life was hard work everyday. He seldom took had the time to go fishing or hunting. He was frugal with his money and kept his old tractors and farm equipment until they rusted away.

    The other Grandfather lived in the mountains of Kentucky, and was of an older line of Scottish clans. He cared little for what others thought of him, he worked just enough to buy his farm and retired in his early forties. He raised a large garden, kept a cow or two, fed his yearly butcher hogs with table scraps and what little corn he cared to raise. He had an outhouse, a bucket type well, he cleared and tended his land by hand or with a mule. Cooked off a yearly batch of sorghum molasses for the market and to make enough money to pay his family’s few bills; he had 13 children.

    He went fishing, went swimming, hunted the mountains, loved his children, grandchildren who totaled well over 100, played with his great & great-great-grandchildren, and died at nearly 90 leaving behind 40 acres and an old house.

    My Father tried to do what my mother’s father had done in Indiana and worked himself to death by age 39, and left behind a wife and 6 children.

    Life is short no matter how long one lives, best make the most of it while there is time, remembering that the moment that one finds themselves in completion with others, or trying to be like others, one has become their slave.
     
  12. Ravenlost

    Ravenlost Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    24,572
    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2004
    Location:
    MS
    Haggis...that is a lesson we should all heed! And so eloquently told! Thank you.
     
  13. OUVickie

    OUVickie Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    3,179
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2003
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    That's why my home is my haven.
    I'm 46 and Hubby is 43. We both work away from home too. Someday we will get to retire. I see all the people around me who work hard like me, but then live in town and get frustrated trying to keep up with the Joneses. Some have heart attacks because they carry cell phones and are on call cause they live so close to work. Then, they have to pay money to escape for a weekend.

    Not me, I go home every nite and escape. I'm so relaxed at home, I rejuvenate by doing evening chores and piddling before bedtime. We have the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises, and their right outside my door. And the sky at night....man is it beautiful!
     
  14. New Mexican

    New Mexican Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    454
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Location:
    New Mexico
    Golly Gee everyone....thanks!

    You all are so right. My haven at home here is awesome. Our backyard is BLM land...how many folks in the city can say they have literally "nothing' in their back yard.

    Just had a read bad day the other one. I work for a family (Dad, son, daughter) and they were "into it". Too much commotion for me. We live a quiet life....our 4 dogs, 6 cats and a dozen hens are what makes it up. I don' t garden....dh is the ag engineer here! But I just hang out and rest. I hate housework so it's not thay I clean all the time either. :no: :no: :no:

    Yes, when I come over that mountain I say, "ahhhhhhhhh.....home sweet home". No more blacktop for me!!!
     
  15. OUVickie

    OUVickie Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    3,179
    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2003
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Exactly!!!
    We live on a dirt road and on top of a hill. I'm smiling as I pull into our gate and look out over our pasture. Our horse and cows are lazily grazing. And when the sun is going down, it's so beautiful over the tops of the trees. I have the window rolled down and I take a deep breath, and just like you, I think "ahhhhh, I'm home!" :D

    And you have a moutain?!!!! :eek: How wonderful! I bet you have some awesome scenery! Tell us about it!! I love to read about other's homesteads! :p
     
  16. fordy

    fordy Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    9,264
    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2003
    Location:
    Whiskey Flats(Ft. Worth) , Tx
    ............................................

    ........Haggis, after I read your very eloquent description on why we should enjoy our life it enabled me to refocus on WHY I'm moving to Wyoming as soon as I can SELL most of the Things i have acquired but don't need. Besides , property taxes will eventually force me into selling anyway . It's taken me 57 years to makeup my mind about moving away from everything i've ever known or loved in this Hot place but I know that there is alot of living YET to do when I get to my chosen town in WY. It does get to 90 f there but it drops off to 45 or so at night which i can't wait to experience . No WMt.s or such but I bet I can get by just Fine . Life will most certainly be harder than it is here , but I'll feel like doing alot more I'm sure . Plus, the mountains are only a 30 minute drive in any direction i choose to go . I'll beable to have a fire every winter night and own a dog who is was actually made to live in cold weather . Who knows, maybe I'll even get to see a Grizzly fishing in the Big Horn river or hear those Wolves howling on a -30 degree night . And , I won't be back!!!!...fordy... :eek: :)
     
  17. barbarake

    barbarake Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    179
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2003
    Location:
    Upstate SC
    Haggis - I just wanted to say that I appreciate your story about your grandfathers and father. Really makes you think.

    Jane - you said...

    "I am fortunate in that I have a corporate job and can do it from home in the country. Technology is making it possible for more and more people to do this, if your job function mainly involves talking on the phone and sitting behind a computer"

    I used to have one of these ... until it was outsourced to India. But I'm still in contact with the people that are still there - and I'm glad it worked out the way it did. I gained 60 lbs in the five years I was there - and have lost 50 of it in the past year. I hated the stress, the constant deadlines, being on-call, emergencies in the middle of the night, etc. etc. And it's worse for the people that are left because their workload has gotten heavier and heavier. My former boss had a heart attack last month - he's only 38 with three young children (oldest is 7). My previous boss was 'let go' last month - everyone thinks it's because he had to take significant time off to treat *his* heart problem. Heck with it - the corporate life is not for me.