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Decorating the house - husbands/wives

2K views 52 replies 41 participants last post by  Quint 
#1 ·
I've had an interesting conversation with several friends this week.. so now I'd like to get some other feedback. For those of you who are married or living with a SO.... Who makes the decisions concerning the decorating "style" of the house? Dose the man of the house give his direction and the woman works around his parimeters? Or is your house "whatever makes mama happy, makes us all happy"?

I've talked to several men who swear they would never live in a "girly" house and refuse to let thier wives put up anything lacy or floral. I've talked with my dad and his opinion was he didn't care and whatever made mom happy.. he said floral bedding didn't bother him because the lights were out when he was in it anyway. And then I saw pictures of a friend house and EVERYTHING was pink and lacy (lace curtians, lace table cloth), even had victorian dolls all across the mantle and I thought... wow, how would her husband feel in that house?

What are things like at your house?
 
#2 ·
I essentially make all the decorating decisions. However, my house is decorated in what I refer to as "rustic junk" ;)

Old tack on the walls, old bottles and rusty gizmos on shelves, antique furniture, orange-crate end tables, and so on. Even our bedspread is a denim quilt made from Dh's old jeans.

So yeah, I make the decisions, but they're pretty husband-friendly. :)
 
#5 ·
Here we are about 50/50 in decorating... Although it helps that we both like the same things.... Country style, with the hunting theme mixed in.... Our bedroom is ALL mosey oak camo (bed, curtains, etc).... Living Room is country, with nice deer & pheasant pictures.... Kitchen is ALL MINE, rolling pins & apples.... Office is ALL DH, all his animal mounts, gun cabinet, bows, etc.... and the Bathroom is country decor....
 
#6 ·
DH and I have similar tastes (rustic, comfortable, natural materials/finishes, with funny stuff worked in like old TP ads and a talking Dr. Evil action figure - complete with Mr. Bigglesworth and a bundle of bills marked $1Million), so it's not much of an issue. However, I did have to limit the NASCAR paraphernalia to "The Man Room" and/or the garage. Otherwise, Rusty Wallace would be watching every move I make...

We haven't done much "real" decorating - we just have stuff that we display in the rooms that exist as they did when we bought our houses. We did decide to repaint our bedroom in VA, and DH won that one - HE wanted pink! :eek:

We're going to be doing a major remodel of this house in the future, but we know what we want for the most part already. Now we just have to make it happen.
 
#7 ·
here..it's me. hubby says 'whatever I like...he likes'. it helps that we both love the color green, and we both love country/rustic. he will (when he notices..LOL) often look around and say 'our house is so cozy. it's such a trip, Deb' no..he doesn't do drugs. LOL he just sometimes DOES notice it all..and he loves it. he could care less what curtains I put up...or what rug I buy. he just loves to be cozy...it works for us. :) he loves the homey 'feel'....mostly in our bedroom where I have tons of pillows and fluffy quilts. micro fleece sheets. soft lighting. :) yeah..here it's me, but it's all for him.
 
#8 ·
I can do whatever I want with any room in the house, as long as I don't touch our bedroom. Which currently looks like a teenage boy lives in it. There is a life-sized cut out of Dale Jr standing at the head of our bed. Soon the one of Dale Sr. on the other side. All his NASCAR stuff is in our bedroom. It's ridiculous. BUT, I love him, so I live with it..........lol.

The rest of the house is Sally Chic, as we call it. Cozy n comfy, but definitely not new.
 
#9 ·
I make the decorating decisions in our home. DH and I have similar tastes, so it isn't a problem. If DH objected to something, I would probably try to come to a compromise. We both like antiques and primative decor. Oh, I just remembered, we did have a problem once. My husband wanted to put up his mounted bear head and I refused to have it anywhere because of those beady black eyes staring at me. We sort of compromised on that, the bear is in the basement, which is my husband's hunting room.
 
#11 ·
My husband and I also have very similar tastes. Our home is decorated in an "early American/Colonial" type of theme. I do all the decorating, but I do try to keep my husband in mind when I do it. I wouldn't want a "girly-girl" bedroom where he would feel something less than comfortable, not that I'm a "girly-girl" anyway. ;)
 
#13 ·
The entire 25 years we have been married and living here and there while he was in the Air Force, he never said a word. I pretty much had a free hand to do what I wanted... that is until we built our dream house ourselves...now he is into every decorating plan and I have just recently realized we have two totally different styles...lol makes for some interesting discussions... but he still lets me win most of the time.. if he doesn't..then I know it must be important to him so I give in..:)
 
#14 ·
On the times when we have actually done any decorating, we did it together. I did decorate a room as a gift to him once. But other than that we do it together if we do it all. Often with the constraints of rental properties, we have been limited in what we could do. He is FAR more visual than I am and I really appreciate his input, honestly.

Cindyc.
 
#16 ·
Well I've usually handled the decorating, but my DH is VERY particular and insists on sharing in the decisions, LOL (such as colors, etc.). Luckily for us both, we have the exact tastes in art, color preferences, etc.

And out of respect for him, I would never decorate with flowery stuff everywhere (not my taste either), nor would I have dolls, pink rooms, etc.
 
#17 ·
When I built this house, my then wife and I agreed on Southwestern/western. Earth tones, knotty pine, in natural stain, that sort of thing. We had agreed on the colors so they stay the same.

Now that i am alone, i've got rid of the southwestern (ugly, green based upholstery) couch and chairs, replaced with leather couchs, coverd a big chair and the dining chairs with tooled leather look vinyl, western art prints, terra cotta bean pot lamps, etc.

I call it cowboy formal.

ED
 
#18 ·
When I built this house, my then wife and I agreed on Southwestern/western. Earth tones, knotty pine, in natural stain, that sort of thing. We had agreed on the colors so they stay the same.

Now that i am alone, i've got rid of the southwestern (ugly, green based upholstery) couch and chairs, replaced with leather couchs, coverd a big chair and the dining chairs with tooled leather look vinyl, western art prints, terra cotta bean pot lamps, etc.

I call it cowboy formal.

ED
Okay, but if you were to get married again and that wasn't HER style, would you be open to change?
 
#19 ·
My idea of decorating is Skulls,Hides,Christmas Lights and few other things.My wife though its taking out a Wall,Window or Whatever.

I kid you not I'm watching T.V. she comes in with Chainsaw.What you going to do? I'm going to take out this wall.:icecream: Need me to move out of the way?

big rockpile
 
#21 ·
Okay, but if you were to get married again and that wasn't HER style, would you be open to change?
I'm 58, 2 years out of a bad 32 year marriage, and I don't plan on gettin married again, at least not for some time. LOL

The lady I am dating likes my house just fine, but the special made cabinets, made for 6' tall or over people, are a might high for her little 5'4" body. She has her own minimalist decorated house, and we like it that way. She has also helped me pick out rugs, and prints, and is my color advisor for the primitives I make and paint.

I just got through making some primitive shelving units to put in the bedroom, I had knotty pine dressers built in and there is a 16" gap to the walls from each one, made two 4 shelf units, to fit and 6" tall, gonna use em to store and display my boots, :lonergr: :lonergr: :lonergr:

Ed
 
#22 ·
When Nick and I actually decorated (after nearly 10 years of being together, 8 of those married) we discovered that we do have similar tastes, and we are both able to give and take. Also, there's no hill on which either of us are willing to die as far as decorating the house goes.

OTOH, we do have a running joke that anything wrought iron, gaudy, heavy, red/Spanish-y would "look great in the barn!"

He'll point out a heavy 5' tall wrought iron hanging lamp. "Wow, Honey... That will look great in your barn!"

Or a big, gaudy 70's green or orange glass lamp shade. "Say, Babe -- looks like another find to put in the barn!"

We get a lot of mileage out of that.

But overall, we do agree on the house stuff. The decorating we've done to get the house sold has taught me that the man does have wonderful taste, and I've learned to listen to his ideas. They're often much better than mine!
 
#23 ·
When I married Grandfatherbear, I had no idea just how much his parents life long struggle over who had control would affect him.

Imagine a few weeks after getting married, you and your former freshman roommate go shopping because she's redoing her bathrooms and along the way you see a few small bath items you like and she encourages you to pick them up. Now imagine fixing up a plain jane bathroom with a new soap dish, toothbrush holder, waste can and tissue box cover, all happy and ready to show it to your husband and get some praise. Now imagine your husband coming home and the world ends.
1. you spent money without asking him (brings back uncomfortable memories of the financial abuse in the first marriage)
2. You chose something without consulting him.

Now, this is a MAJOR fight that keeps getting brought up over and over again by GFB.

Now let me explain about yards in Florida. They are sand. There is no dirt and if you don't get sod on it it grows up to sandspurs. I have been talking to GFB about sodding the lawn. Everyone agrees its a good idea. (By this time - just because of the bathroom issue and the refusal to let me have a green room, the master bedroom is going to stay blue which always depressed me- anyway I gave up on the house and absolutely refused to engage, except once or twice over do or die issues like the daughter wanting to paint her room and being willing to do it herself)So I figure maybe I can have some effect on the lawn and garden. We keep discussing the lawn (sand) and the need for sod. Every time I ask about ordering the sod I am told we need to discuss it further.
After a year and half of twice weekly discussions I order the sod and sod the lawn.

He was not as upset and unforgiving as he was over the bathroom, which was still being brought up after 15 years of marriage and I was an evil chauvinist sow for not consulting him, but he was FLABBERGASTED that I would have gone ahead and ordered the sod. Even tho we had agreed on it.

Its awful hard to take much interest in a place that doesn't feel like home. For over two decades I was feeling like I was raising my kids in a motel. No vested interest except in the yard and gardens. I mean, I will scrub the toilets and occasionally the floor, but its hard to get enthusiastic.

When we started to discuss moving to the lake I put a condition down :that I would have to have to have a say in the house. GFB agreed, saying that was all HE had wanted from the beginning, with no idea how his repeated attacks and harping on the evil of my temerity for redcorating the bathroom hwithout consulting him on the money and the purchases had driven me several times to think of taking up seperate residences.

He still has no idea how bad he's hurt me. I've told him, he doesn't get it.

We have a broken couch that in the lake cabin that will stay there forever. I did get him to agree on reinsulating the ceiling, putting in a combo washer dryer and replacing the windows was a no brainer after Hurricane Jeanne threw a pine tree threw the windows. Ah, but that's not decorating, is it? More like maintenance.

I don't have a say. in decorating I don't want to suffer any more than I have. I feel like a kibbutznik- some of the kibbutz children never felt a "home" in the living quarters but were in love with an outdoors place...
 
#24 ·
As long as nothing is PINK, Artificer doesn't care what I do :) Our house in town is an 1890 victorian, and we try to keep it true to style. .... working WITH the house instead of against it, sort of.

When I've asked him, he says he prefers the dark or jewel colors. doesn't like pastels. Since I don't like pastels EITHER...and we both like comfy furniture...seems to work out well.

Sometimes I think he'd be just fine with a computer desk, a fridge, futon and coffee table to eat on. period. oh..and book cases. LOTS of bookcases. :D
 
#25 ·
My house is decorated in a country cottage style. DH definitely has a say in decorating. It took us 2 years to agree on wallpaper for the kitchen and dining room. We pretty much have the same taste and I try to keep it from looking too feminine. Most people including DH, say our home has a cozy, warm feeling and that's exactly what I was aiming for with my decorating. I do admit to having three porcelain dolls displayed in the living room - one is a country girl doll, a victorian city girl doll, and a native american woman with papoose on her back doll. DH has no problem with them, thank goodness. :)
 
#26 ·
Our house could be called Minimalist in Neutrals. I have a preference for natural, warm colors, like browns, ambers, etc., and DH likes that as well. I defer all final color choices in more permanent things (paint colors, curtains) to DH, as we've learned by experience that what I see in my mind's eye is NOT what I see with my real eyes. :shrug:

Our main floor (kitchen, living and dining rooms, hall, porch) are all in different shades of the same color. In some light it looks a bit beige, in others a bit sagey. Very comforting and relaxing. When we renoed our basement this year, due to small windows, we went with apricot, with white trim. Not something I'd put upstairs, but you get the feeling there's a lot of daylight in the room even after dark, which keeps it from feeling basementy.

Our bedroom has yet to be repainted, so it's off white, but all the bedding, curtains, etc. are in rust brown tones, that goes well with our pine furniture and built in pine cabinets covering one whole wall, done by the previous owner.
 
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