Dear Wife in Hospital

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by fixer1958, Dec 19, 2006.

  1. fixer1958

    fixer1958 None of the Above

    Messages:
    1,739
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2005
    Location:
    NE Kansas
    My sweet wife is in the hospital at this moment recovering from a total hysterectomy. My question is, when she comes home tomorrow,
    what can I do to make her as comfortable as possible? I have had several sugeries myself, but this kind is a little out of my realm. I put my dictator hat on and instructed the 3 teens that live here that this house had better look NEW when she gets home. I only came home tonight (50 mile oneway) to make sure they didn't have a huge blow-out with there friends and burn the house down. It is/was a possibility. I remember vaguely being a teen and can relate. I can picture an eyebrow going up....hhhmmm. Dad may not be home tonight.
    I thought some of you ladies may be able to give me some insight into this considering I am a blundering male that frequently asks "Who's Been Into My Fricking Beer Again".
    She's doing really well. It's the pain and the mental factors I'm worried about.
    She was fine with having it done, Quote: "I'm done having babies, go for it"
    But I KNOW there will be some linguring finality to it and the hormone stuff.
    Any advice will be appreciated.
     
  2. wildhorse

    wildhorse Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,001
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2006
    Location:
    NC mountains
    Just have her take it easy for awhile no lifting at all :nono: . Just let her know you love her as is. They will probably put her on hormones be patient its a shock to the system.After she heals she may feel better than she has for a long while.
     

  3. holleegee

    holleegee Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,040
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2005
    I would make sure that she gets lots of rest. Make sure she takes her medicine on time. I know when my mom had her surgery they told her to hold a pillow against her belly when she had to walk or sneeze. I think they also told her not to go up and down steps a whole lot. I would just make sure the household chores are taken care of (laundry, dishes, cooking......) so she doesn't feel like she has to do anything. I hope everything goes smoothly! It sounds like she has a very understanding husband!
     
  4. suburbanite

    suburbanite Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,596
    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2006
    Location:
    N. Calif./was USDA 9b before global warming
    Welcome to Chez Fixer, your winter resort in the fabulous vacation destination of Kansas in Winter. While you sit in your lounge chair with a view of the falling snow, fireplace, and TV, let us pamper you with hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and stirred with a candy cane, while delivering books, magazines, or even the TV remote at your beck and call. Meanwhile, we can ease your pain with genuine physician prescribed pain medications, delivered to you at exactly the right time in and quantity to make your stay oh-so relaxing, in accordance with medical directives. Enjoy a foot massage from Mr. Fixer himself, whose teenage staff will amaze you with their sudden (if short-lived) maturity in fixing not only cheeseburgers, but salad for dinner, AND cleaning up the mess before adjourning to spend most of their time with friends elsewhere....


    I think you get the idea.
     
  5. Alice In TX/MO

    Alice In TX/MO More dharma, less drama. Supporter

    Messages:
    30,878
    Joined:
    May 10, 2002
    Location:
    Texas Coastal Bend/S. Missouri
    Six weeks of sore, I can tell you that. Then you start to feel a bit better.

    NO LIFTING. Not even a left hand pinky finger.
     
  6. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

    Messages:
    15,066
    Joined:
    May 10, 2002
    Location:
    Kansas
    Fixer, changing the sheets calls for pulling the fitted sheet towards her, which she is not supposed to do. My sister tells me that her BIGGEST mistake was in changing the sheets! She should NOT have!

    So, I suspect you will be drafted!
     
  7. fixer1958

    fixer1958 None of the Above

    Messages:
    1,739
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2005
    Location:
    NE Kansas
    Got everything but the hot choclate. Never thought of that. It may snow tomorrow. I'm pretty good at foot massage and not to forget back scratching.
    I think I'm ready. Thanks!
    The teens can do pretty good in a pinch, but I have to get the cattle prod warmed up and try it out on one that's not paying attention to make sure it still works.
     
  8. fixer1958

    fixer1958 None of the Above

    Messages:
    1,739
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2005
    Location:
    NE Kansas
    Got that down too. Laundry is done (helped some with teens). Christmas shopping is done (she did). Anything else?
     
  9. RoseGarden

    RoseGarden Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,492
    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2005
    Location:
    Southeast
    Hugs and kisses, of course!! :baby04:

    She might need some help going from laying flat to sitting upright or help getting out of bed or chair into a standing position. I had some surgery and that was a problem for me. I overcame it by rolling onto my side and levering myself up with my arms, but it would have been nice to have had someone assisting.
     
  10. Eileen-Hughes

    Eileen-Hughes Member

    Messages:
    16
    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2006
    Bring her home in the smoothest riding vehicle you can find. NO PICK UP TRUCKS!! :)

    ALSO.... Do saliva tests to check her hormones. If she starts acting weird, she is likely out of whack hormonally and will need to supplement. :help:

    Good luck.
     
  11. Alice In TX/MO

    Alice In TX/MO More dharma, less drama. Supporter

    Messages:
    30,878
    Joined:
    May 10, 2002
    Location:
    Texas Coastal Bend/S. Missouri
    After about a week, really encourage her to walk. (gently slowly at first) That helped me the most after abdominal surgery.
     
  12. Tracy Rimmer

    Tracy Rimmer CF, Classroom & Books Mod Supporter

    Messages:
    9,936
    Joined:
    May 9, 2002
    Location:
    Manitoba, Canada
    Fixer -- the only bit of advice I can give you, is read her signals. Don't let her do anything, even if she insists, but if she wants to be left alone, leave her alone, and if she wants you to sit by her side and comfort her, do that.

    Just don't make her laugh :)

    I love the fact that you obviously adore your wife enough to come on a forum such as this and ask advice... you're a sweetheart, so obviously, everything you THINK of, follow through on -- until she starts to get that "you're driving me up the WALL" look...

    I am NOT a good patient. I'm too used to doing things myself (and I think most women, especially mothers of teenagers, are the same way :) ), but a little bit of care and loving feel good. Luckily, after 18 years together, DH knows when I get "that" look that I really need my space. Be cheerful, helpful and loving, not suffocating.

    And don't let her lift a thing -- even herself :)
     
  13. frazzlehead

    frazzlehead AppleJackCreek Supporter

    Messages:
    3,717
    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2005
    Location:
    near Edmonton AB
    Oh my goodness ... cattle prods for teenagers! I'm gonna have to get me one o' those things, my kids' turning 11 soon. :)

    As for your after-care questions, my mom had a hyst done herself and worked for an OBGYN for a long time. She says the ones who have complications are the ones who don't take that whole 'rest for six weeks' thing seriously enough. Her instructions: the first day or 2, after surgery, help her roll her over to switch sides, every hour or so(not stay in one position too long) ... it helps the gasses they blow you up with move around and work their way out. Tell the teens not to laugh at the explusion of said gas - it HURTS to keep it in! :D

    After that, if you have a 2 story house, do the stairs once a day max. So, if you sleep upstairs you do all your upstairs stuff (bathroom, etc) when you get up and then come dowstairs for the day, bringing everything you may need until night time, then you go back up. No up and down multiple times in the day.

    I had an endometrial ablation done (translation: they burn the inside of the uterus so it stops bleeding so much), so a minor deal compared to a hyst, but pain in the same place. The first two days I was in an awful lot of pain - the drugs the dr gave helped but not enough, and they made me woozy on top of it all. This will sound really nuts but that first night, standing to walk all the way to the bathroom, do my business and walk back to bed was way too much to handle. I was much better if I crawled there, only had to stay vertical for the time it took to do what needed doing, then crawled back. My loving and wonderful son and SO just helped me do whatever was comfortable, even though it looked mighty strange. Do watch for dizziness and if she's woozy just help her to the floor. It's much better on the floor. :)

    After the initial few days of nasty, it's just gonna get boring. Find her stuff to do - does she knit? crochet? watch movies? read books? get a stack of something (or better yet several stacks for variety) cause six weeks is a long, long time. A laptop and an internet connection would go a long way to easing the boredom, too. :)

    You sound like a wonderful guy, she's lucky to have ya. I'm sure it'll all go well with so much love surrounding her!
     
  14. zookeeper16

    zookeeper16 Karaoke Queen

    Messages:
    964
    Joined:
    May 10, 2002
    Location:
    Central Wisconsin
    I apologize as I write this because I have not read each and every response, but I just had a total hysterectomy six weeks ago and maybe can offer some insight.

    Not all women will have that lingering hormonal "end of my womenhood" feeling. I think it all depends on the woman. For me, I was THRILLED to have the surgery due to my past medical history.

    Also a lot will depend on her pain tolerence. Let her determine what, if any, pain medications to take. I went off my prescription in three days and just used ibuprofin IF I needed it. Pain killers may diminish her appetite. They also may cause her to sleep more, or in my case, less. When she's tired, she will sleep. I'm finding I'm still tired six weeks out and have been told I will not feel totally normal for 3-6 months post op.

    While resting, be sure she has everything at her fingertips: Meds, phone, books, kleenex, water...anything she will need. Getting up is hard on the stomach area so this really helps! Also as mentioned above, a small pillow to hold against her abdomen on the way home (between the seatbelt and her body) and if she needs to cough. Oh - the ride home is painful....she will feel every bump! Just a warning!

    The only exercise I was allowed, and most likely her too, is walking. After a week I was able to walk a few blocks. After two weeks I was up to almost a mile. Moving really helps!

    Now this may be too personal, but be sure she has stool softeners. Pain killers tend to "bind" you up and she will find them a blessing!

    I notice some say make her rest for the entire six weeks, but let HER determine what she can and cannot do (absolutely no lifting of course!). I couldn't stand to be "down" for that long, so I was up and moving within 10 days, pretty much normally. Six weeks would have drove me batty. Just use common sense and have her take it easy. She will get tired a lot. But other than that, the pain after a week is not that bad. I had my six week check up today and have healed up fine. The incisions still hurt a little bit though.

    A great website to check out is hystersisters.com. There are weekly checkpoints and even an area for you!

    Tell her I wish her luck!
     
  15. mightybooboo

    mightybooboo Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    11,301
    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2004
    Location:
    So Cal Mtns
    Best wishes to you all.

    BooBoo :gromit:
     
  16. nana-san

    nana-san Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    319
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Location:
    Southern DE
    peppermint tea for the gas. Make sure she takes every meds as directed. This really helped me. it keeps the pain at bay. If I waited too long it seemed like the meds to longer to supress the pain.

    Its great that you care enough to get advice. Keep things available by placing items near her. of course can't forget the pillow to help her when she has to cough or get out of bed to use the bathroom.
    her hormones will be out of whack so don't take things too personal, she will also go throught hot and cold sensations.
    All the other adivce is right on the money.

    here is a great website that helped me:www.hystersisters.com
     
  17. Jillis

    Jillis Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,680
    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2005
    Location:
    Northeast Kingdom of Vermont
    Um...don't ask for sex for a while. Wait until she is ready. That will help a lot!
     
  18. Queen Bee

    Queen Bee Well-Known Member Supporter

    Messages:
    6,725
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2004
    Location:
    NC
    I had this done about 14yrs ago...and everyone was wonderful for the first two weeks but then they decided they NEEDED mom.. Follow ALL Dr. instructions. If he says 6 weeks make sure it is six weeks--not two or three! No lifting, no driving, no bending were a few of the ones my dr. ordered. And she may need more time to recover..

    I think the main thing that helped me were the naps (I do not take naps --never have but I really needed them --physcially and mentally). A fan (or several of the hand held-'church fans' placed at the chair, bedside and bathroom) for hot flashes and a soft warm blanket for the chills...
     
  19. ginnie5

    ginnie5 wife,mom,taxi driver,cook Supporter

    Messages:
    6,677
    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2003
    Location:
    Near Charlotte NC
    well since you came to a web site I'm going to tell you one.
    http://www.hystersisters.com/
    there are forums there that will address every question you or your wife may have. And even though she was ok with it and wasn't planning more kids be aware that it may bother her later on. Depending on whether or not she kept her ovaries will determine if she needs hormones. Just make sure she takes it easy...no laundry, no picking up after anyone, no vacuuming, and no schooching up with you at night for at least 6 weeks. It may very well take longer than that for her to feel like herself though and that's ok. It was closer to 6 months before I felt normal.
     
  20. Tricky Grama

    Tricky Grama Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    31,762
    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2006
    Location:
    N. E. TX
    Sounds like you have a ton of great advice.

    When you get the hot chocolate mix, include this note to her:

    "Was told you've been good this year. Always glad to hear it.
    With freezing weather drawing near, you'll need to warm the spirit.
    So here's a little Snowman Soup complete with stirring stick.
    Add hot water, sip it slow, it's sure to do the trick.

    (the peppermint candy cane is the stirring stick.) Then you'll have to draw a snowman on the note. I guarantee this will be a hit!

    Other suggestions include making some meals ahead, like cassaroles, etc. Pot roast is easy & can be warmed up several times. Chili, soup, you've got the idea.

    Good luck!! And I'm sure nothing can prepare you for the PMS-type symptoms!

    Patty