Well, I don't know if anyone can help me with any advice on this on or not. If you read the thread about my grandson Andrew acting up you might have some idea about the situation in my home. My dh and I have custody of my step-dd's 2.5yo grandson (since age 10 mos). The dd is 19 her name is Jenn. We have had custody of dh's three kids for six years now, the real mom has problems with substance abuse. dd 19 saw too much growing up and her ways were set when we got custody when she was 13, she has broken our hearts, lied to us and generally made life miserable. (the other younger kids are high honors and sports nuts) We bought a farm and larger house in September and a little later Jenn was having problems in Massachusetts where she was bouncing to and from NH. We offered to let her come live with us. She has had a DUI in Mass. and no license. I helped her to get a job at a local Supermarket and she was doing Ok for awhile, me, giving her rides. Everything changed right around Thanksgiving, she came home at 5am and was in no state to help me as she promised, so I worked my tail off all day (I would have prepped more night before if she hadn't promised) There was a blowout with her dad telling her to shape up or ship out and when I went in to see how she was she screamed at me telling me "see you got what you want I am out of here" Well, she calmed down and had dinner, but the day was ruined for me and dh. Two weeks ago she tells us she has a court date in MA for driving after suspension. She "borrows" $50- from dh to get a friend to drive her. She then tells us she is staying down there to get her court stuff taken care of to get her license back and her Grammy (who is wealthy) was going to buy her a car. She never even called the job to tell them she quit, I am embarrassed to even go shopping now. The registry told her she has to get NH fixed because they issued her the license and she has a warrant here too. She has not been back since and her Grammy called to tell me she let Jenn borrow her CC to Christmas shop and Jenn disapperared. Jenn was staying at a Hotel and had charged 1200- and was back with a young man who is ahem, not of our culture at all, which would be fine but he is a gangsta too. (She is persona non grata at Grammys now) We bought her a new snowborad package awhile ago and various clothing and dh tells me not to wrap the things because she is not welcome in our house. Her son lives here and I think this is cruel to him more than to her, he loves his mom. Oh, she also went in my jewely box and wore some inexpensive jewlrey which I took back, but I found a tie clip that was my late dad's in the dryer (using it for a roach clip?) :Bawling: I am dreading the Holidays now, all this prep and baking and wrapping seems like a fake, how can I be happy ith this stress and turmoil, I am afraid when she shows up (which I am sure she will) that my dh will have a heart attack as he has before. Do I plead with dh to make a show of it or should I try to reach Jenn and tell her not to come, she is "dead to us" until she grows up? I am at a loss.