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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My DD age 22 is moving out. She has found a house with 5 other young folks in a great town. The rent is reasonable and the other renters very nice and like minded. The town is about an hour away with lots of job opportunities. That good since she has no job. She has money for two months rent but then needs to get on the ball. I think this is scaring her. She has paid rent for Jan. but is still here. I am not pushing her out but at 22 she is done with collage, two degrees to her name I think it is time. There is no work here in this little town so it is a good move for her. She is a very smart girl, not bragging but borders on genius, and yet not very much common sense.
I already told her she did not have to move and can stay here as long as she needs to but there is nothing here for her.
I feel so bad for her. She was so happy to find the place and meet the other renters but then I think reality set in. I moved out 2 weeks after graduating high school, so did my sister. I never looked back or regretted it. It was hard at times not knowing if you could pay the rent, you always did . I also lived in a big house with a bunch of hippies. I loved every minuet of it.
Any words of advice to comfort her.
 

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..where do YOU look?
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Male perspective:

She doesn't need comfort, she needs a job and intestinal fortitude. What we're talking about here isn't a tightrope walk over the Snake River with no net. We're talking about a short walk on a 1' garden border wall. Get out there, look for a job, and don't stop 'til you have one that pays the rent. When you're past that, find a job you might 'like' or that might turn into a career.

Just my $0.02,

R
 

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She may be sensing ambivalence on your part. Have you tried a harder line? Not a pitch you to the curb talk, but a "you have already paid your rent, I think that this is a good move, how can I help you get going?" talk.

Sometimes, it is very hard to move from what is comfortable safe and good, into the unknown. Give her WIHH"S speech there (It is nearly the same one that worked well here) and help that woman start packing. Make a plan to have lunch with her a month out. Help her with a few first groceries if you can.

If you act excited and happy about her big first step it will help her as well.
If you tell her that she's perfectly fine to stay home, she might be there a while, even having paid the rent somewhere else.

dawn
 

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Worse case, it's only two months; best case - an adventure and starting out to live HER way.

Best wishes on the move.

Angie
 

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I wouldn't worry about her. Sounds like she is trying to start her life and going about it the right way (frugally). What degrees does she hold? Is there work in her field where she is going?

At 22, I had my undergrad degree, working on grad and living and working in Moscow, Russia. Imagine my parents' trepidation at *that* move! I was fine, though, and so will your daughter be. Have faith in your own ability of raising her.
 

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It's time for her to move on and become independent. This is the next step for her. It is a good and necessary thing for her to do. I think she has made several wise choices already - moving to a town with better employment opportunities, getting cheap rent. If she can continue on the same vane - she will do just fine.
 

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Have you ever watched a nest of fledgling birds when it's time to leave the nest? There will always be one brave/foolish/adventuresome fledgling that bails out at the first opportunity. The others watch this one and soon one by one, the rest leave except for one lone hold out.....This one will stay in the nest while the others are trying out their wings and learning how it all works. Eventually the mother and father will be sitting side by side in the tree calling and encouraging the straggler to join the rest. I have YET to see that last bird stay until it died and I have yet to see an adult bird physically throw it out of the nest....Eventually they too find the courage and strength to bail out and face the world. For the first little bit they will still stay close to mom and dad but gradually they depend less and less on them. I don't know which bird your DD is, but she too will find her way at her own pace. Continue to encourage her to trust herself and take that first flight....Your work here is not done mom, she will still need you for a little bit more time. Best of luck to you and her....Sounds like you have done well with this one.

David
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thank guys. You always say the right things. She has degrees in Photography and graphic design. Both very employable. She hopes to find some freelance work in the design field while working at a day job. She is concerned that "nobody is hiring" . So last night we went to several online job searches and realized some places are hiring. She is fine with waitress, barmaid, receptionist,etc. So I think she will be OK. I know she will be OK. She on the other hand is the one concerned. I did tell her she can stay but she will have to pay rent here as well. I will only foot the bill while in school full time.
She is off to apply for a few jobs today.
 
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