I don't know what to do. To make a long story short, I have to go BK, due to some problems my spouse created. This is NOT a regular consumer BK, but a Chapter 12. It is similar to what a business would do, only tailored to the income schedule of a farm. In the end, all the debts will be paid, the remaining debt reorganized and hopefully a viable farm will remain. Please understand that the usual credit card type of debt is not an issue here...it's very different. My spouse created this problem by lying to me about finances, a lack of planning and a great lack of following through on any plan that he ever agreed too. He's kind of passive/agressive about things like that...he'll agree to something he doesn't want to do, then not do it. No matter how I approach him, he will tell me what he thinks I want to hear. I don't think he is capable of being honest about his own wants/needs. For the BK to work, there has to be a plan, approved by the creditors and the court. The plan can be changed as circumstances warrant, but it has to make sense and result in creditors getting paid. It will take 3-5 years to accomplish this. My dilemma is that I don't have a lot of faith that my spouse will follow through on the plan, and the results are that the BK would be dismissed. If the BK is dismissed, the creditors are turned loose to do what they will. They will sell off what they want, take what they want, etc. We would lose it all. The other dilemma is deciding what plan to go with in the first place. There are several options, based on what we own. I keep trying to determin what my priorities ought to be, but it's hard to decide. My priorities could be "set up for old age security", "ensure my and my kids (two at home, youngest is 11) security", "keep farming". None of these are really compatible with each other in terms of what is to be done. In any case, the debts will get paid in full so no one is going to lose any money. One option is to end up with a farm, almost paid for, with no further debt. The downside to this is that this farm is NOT mine and I do not have an interest in it. It is my spouse's separate property. I do not have rights if inheritance of this property. I would have somewhere to live, somewhere to farm, life would be financially secure...until he dies. At that point, I know his family would do whatever they had to in order to kick me out. I'd end up with nothing, after working on that land for years. This option is best for my spouse. He is older than me and it would ensure he had an income in his old age and somewhere to live, whether I am still around or not. Another option is to keep the farm I do have an interest in. We would have significantly more debt as far as a mortgage, but no other. The farm would work, paying for itself, if all goes well. It would probably not get paid off within either of our lifetimes. The disadvantages here are that it is much more risky as this farm depends on livestock for income as opposed to crops. Livestock is always more risky. If it fails, we would have nowhere to live and nowhere to go. We would truly have to start over. The advantage is that I would be working on something that is mine and when I'm old, if I want to sell out and move to the city or something, I could. I would not be surrounded by his somewhat hostile family members. This could work, but it will take some ruthless action of making the place make money, something my spouse is not very good at. I can do it, if he'd just stay out of my way. I'd have to find a legal means to make him do so. Part of the reason why we are broke is that he has no business sense. We spent the last 3 years feeding cows that haven't calved in years, then die in the pasture over winter. He won't sell them. For this to work, that type of mismanagement can't be tolerated. He also likes new green things and that would be out. No more buying equipment on a whim, no more buying anything on a whim just because he thinks it makes him look good. I think he might have learned this lesson at least. The last option I have is to walk away. Just leave the whole situation, get a job, find a house somewhere and continue with my life. There would be no farming in this scenario. Just a regular life with a regular job. I'd still have to go BK, but I wouldn't have to worry about what the plan is, dragging him through the whole ordeal and just the stress of the whole thing. I do have money set aside that I could use to set myself up (yes he knows I have this money, I have never lied about it and it is legally untouchable in a BK). If the BK is dismissed, it would not matter to me as I would be off living my own life somewhere. I guess it is at this point that I must decide exactly what farming means to me. My future security is very much at risk here. If the farm goes well, I can farm as long as I want, sell it and use the proceeds to have a home and retire. If it does not go well, I'll be one of those old ladies working at wal-mart to pay the rent on my run-down apartment. I am in my early 40's, my spouse is in his late 50's. It's very scary. The decisions I make now could make or break me, but I'm not the only one I have to rely on and my spouse has proven himself to be pretty unreliable. Despite this, I do NOT want to get a divorce. I don't want to get into all that, but I don't want one. A divorce would not alter the financial situation at all (I did check with an attorney on that one). There would be no property settlement, just a clean break to walk away. I feel like sticking with our farm through all this is like jumping off a cliff. I feel like sticking with his farm is cutting my own throat. Yet, walking away from all of it would break my heart....both in terms of the marriage and losing the opportunity to farm. No easy choices. No matter what happens, I will lose the house I live in. That is hard too as I thought I would never have to move again. I will go from a nice house to a very small, old house. I'll have to get rid of many things, including antiques from my grandmother, etc. This freaking hurts and I wish it would all go away, but it's not going too. Buck up and keep moving. Insight would be appreciated.