I received an email today from one of my DH sisters (he has 4 sisters and 2 brothers). His sister wanted to know if the individual families wanted to pull names from a hat for sending presents (8 families total if you include DH parents). Okay, this may sound like a nice idea. But here's the problem I have. We haven't spoken to either of his brothers or his sisters for a couple of years now. Once is a while I'll get an email from his sister Linda and his sister-in-law. His parents call about once every 4 months when they want something. So I wrote back and said we don't want to participate. We don't usually send gifts - I gave up years ago trying to make an effort. I use to write and email but his family didn't write back to say they received the letter or got the photos of the kids - nothing. I don't want to participate in the the gift giving. I don't know them, I don't know what they like or need. I'd rather give some money to charity to someone that could really use the money I'd otherwise spend on gifts. Hopefully no-one will be really offended by my email and if so it's not like I'm going to hear from them. And since I'm venting anyway. When I was sick and had to go to hospital for surgery and had to take it easy for a month DH parents couldn't even pick up the phone or send an e-mail asking if I was doing okay. (Yes, they knew about the surgery). But they can call to ask DH, who has a 2 hour commute every day, works 9 hours and has a home, 3 kids, a wife and a dog to take care of if he can get on the computer and help find his useless 33 year old brother a job. Gee, the guy is 33 years old - let him find his own darn job. I mean the guy is single, he lives in his mom's rental house and doesn't have a whole lot of responsibility. I mean DH parents even paid for him to go to college just recently and paid his $1200 rent while he was there. But when I suggested that maybe it was time for him to pay his own way - well that didn't go over to well. So fine, don't moan about all the money you have to spend to support your 30 something son. Oh and I forgot to mention that he couldn't take his 2 dogs to college with him so he gave them to his mom and dad and then would you believe it he bought 3 more dogs home from college with him. So now DH parents have 5 dogs that they didn't want and that aren't theirs. Okay, I'm done. I'm just not going to answer the phone to them anymore. If DH wants to pickup then he can but me I'm done.