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I know someone that owes $36,000 in back child support. They have to go to court in Feb. They haven't paid any in over 4 years. How can a person get by that long without paying? Seems like to me the authorities would've done something before now. Do you think they will be put in jail?
 

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Mine didn't pay either, he did try for a year about 10 yrs after divorce, while he was watch after a prison sentence.

Angie
 

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I know someone that owes $36,000 in back child support. They have to go to court in Feb. They haven't paid any in over 4 years. How can a person get by that long without paying? Seems like to me the authorities would've done something before now. Do you think they will be put in jail?
Being put in jail might make the state feel like they have 'done something' but how is that going to get the child support paid? It won't!

My husband (we have been seperated for 7 years -- will be 8 soon) didn't pay child support for the first 5 years (none was court ordered, because I didn't have the money to go to court to be legally seperated, much less divorced). Anyway he started paying two years ago...but only about 1/4 of the amount he should have been paying. I am perm. disabled, and can't work.

Four months ago, he stopped paying child support. He has been on disability for the past year, and now he is unemployed.

We had to go back on cash assistance from the state. (200$) What we have coming in doesn't cover the bills, much less food, and we have canceled all we can (cell, cable, everything),s old all we can, and I have been bartering my way to get Christmas. Bartering for warm clothing, coats, other things we need.

The state was SUPPOSED to go after him for the child support -- because he owes the state the money that they gave us to help us out. They didn't do it while he was employed! They aren't even doing it now (and he IS recieving unemployment). I contacted them...nothing. I should have more than enough for the kids and I to live on. Instead, I go to the food bank to buy my food and I have sold EVERYTHING there is to sell to get what I can to afford things we need.

He has sent the kids a box of clothing, but it is all light weight summer and spring stuff...not winter. Even here in Arizona, we need warm clothing in the winter!

If I had a lawyer I would get a court to order the child support, maybe then the state could get their share, and I could get my children's share. At least what he was paying before allowed us to buy food, and clothing and scrape by.

Now between the economy and the cost of things...we are hanging on by the skin of our teeth. ...and slipping
 

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those dead beat dads should be put in the military, they could be building rds,painting the barracks,doing KP and many things, their cks could be sent to the family.. Jail only gives them 3 hots and a flop and we pay for them and their families.
 

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I hope this service is still available. If you can search online, about 4 years ago there was an agency that collected, and they really did, for you. In return they charged (I think) 10% of the suport collected and they were nation wide & went so far as to hire private detectives and local lawyers to file and attend to the legal stuff. Well worth 10% in my book. As I recall you had to be owed a minimum of $10,000 and have a legal document with court ordered child support. Wish I could be of more help but give this a try. There is also free legal aid. The problem is going through the courts on your own, is lengthy and nobody seems to really care. These folks even went through the IRS and local tax collectors. Also very nice. Once you contact them, they send you a package (free) that you will need to fill out & return to them then a real person calls you to talk over your options. I wish you the best of luck. Not fun.
Blessing, LindyLu
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
those dead beat dads should be put in the military, they could be building rds,painting the barracks,doing KP and many things, their cks could be sent to the family.. Jail only gives them 3 hots and a flop and we pay for them and their families.
It's kinda funny you would say this. This individual is a dead-beat-mom. And she owes this money to my kids.
It seems to me that when people talk about other people not paying child support, it's always those sorry dead-beat-dads.
Even when I filled out the paperwork over 7 years ago, all of the questions wanted to know about him. It is just more proof to me that white males are the lowest on the totem pole.
 

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I paid on behalf of my husband for years. The fund came from the only checking account the family had. MINE. The money was mainly mine but his too. His ex wife claimed he never sent child support the cancelled checks were entered into as proof. The judge ruled that I had "No fuducial responceablity to pay and that it was not to be counted as child support but a gift". Thus the dollar amount of the past due is quite high. In 2003 when Dh could no longer work I viewed my money as mine and did not worry about Gifting her. As soon as the SSDI came in I contacted Childsupport and informed them of where to get the money. Child support needed my help because ----the ex wife did not know my husbands full name or how to spell it correctly. The child support order is not in my husbands name but in the name of my dead father inlaw so if I was a real wench I would present that fact (which we tried to clear up in the 2001 court --where I "gifted" but was told that the court matter was dh not mine and dh's mental health did not seem that advanced----to look at him it still doesn't but looks are not normally a disablity).

There can be two sides to the matter. This mother is preventing her child from inheriting 72 grand because she can't get her hands on it because the child IS an adult now. For a 'fee' she'll get in contact with him. Meral lynch tried to get her and then turned to dh for a lead ---So, the money sits. It is not my problem Nor dh's as this is what my late mil wanted for the child. The money will vanish as it has due to tax penalties for failure to account for the intrest since the child was 14 and we paid the taxes on it because we could legally. This is a choice the mother has made. She refused contact and calls. It is only money and she is who will get the Exxon money that is comming due. Then we will be clear on all accounts (again). I wish we had paid directly to the state child support office and I encourage everyone who pays to pay that way as it is a record of payment the the receiver can not argue very easy. I agree that men are too often labled as the calprits.
 

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those dead beat dads should be put in the military, they could be building rds,painting the barracks,doing KP and many things, their cks could be sent to the family.. Jail only gives them 3 hots and a flop and we pay for them and their families.
No, thanks. The military is not a dump-off place for dead-beats.
 

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I don't think it has anything to do with white males being "low". I think, statistically, it is usually men who refuse to take care of their responsibility of child support. However, as your case shows, women can be just as good-for-nothing.
 

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Military isn't a place for them; as only a portion of their pay would go towards child support. Each state has an agency set up to enforce support payments without having to give up 10% to some company. Many states are overburdened with trying to locate the deadbeat parent. I am owed over 4K on one child and about 20K on another. How does the Dad (in this case do it)? Very easy. The state perodically checks socials to see if they are working legitametly and are paying taxes. Many will work under the table so there is no record of them earning so nothing to garnish from. If they are working; the state must notify the employer that the person is subject to garnishment. A bunch of paperwork must be done and filed before money can be withheld from the pay check; usually taking as long as 6 months or more. This gives the deadbeat time to work and get paid; then quit before the garnishment takes effect. Then they go get another job. THe state must find them again, notify the employer and file all the papers, and then they quit again...it goes on and on. My ex worked at a prison until he quit to avoid the child support issue! Some states will not renew drivers license or intercept tax refund checks. You will have to do alot of the leg work yourself and keep on them, but it can be done. THe internet at times can be very helpful. If you want more info and tips; just let me know here or pm.
 

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A friend of mine is in jail because he's 16K behind on one child. They locked him up 1 1/2 ago. What he doesn't know is the mother of his twins in waiting until he gets out to get her $6700.00 and the mother of his oldest child has a court date in Feb. He owes over 60K for her. He is also being sued to take a DNA test for another set so teen twins. His new wife knew he had all fo these baby mamas and an ex-wife, but she married him anyway and had a baby. Now she's singing the blues because he's locked up.
 

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From experience..they can easily (at least in Ky) not only not bother to pay, but lie and pay less than 20 dollars per child per week. All the while driving a new vehicle and making triple the money of the spouse.
Not that I am a little peeved..LOL
It is really sad, that either parent will..much less want, to take from their children by refusing to do their part. In our experience it is not always the man either.
 

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I don't think it has anything to do with white males being "low". I think, statistically, it is usually men who refuse to take care of their responsibility of child support. However, as your case shows, women can be just as good-for-nothing.
I think the reason we hear about dead beat dads more than we do moms is simply because far more women are granted custody than men. While this trend is changing now, for a good many years a father having custody was extremely rare. I was raised by my dad, and there was zero child support or anything else that ever showed up from my "mother". To be labeled "Good for nothing" would be high praise for her.
 

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Certainly some strong feelings in the posts of this thread.

I can hold my head up high and state honestly that I paid each and every month of child support that I was supposed to and have the canceled checks to prove it. There were a few times that I was 2-4 days late in paying, and I think that one month I was a week late but was made known to my ex that she would have to be patient, and she was.

The door doesn't swing both ways as I never received so much as a dime during the summer months when I had primary custody.

I think the key to getting men to pay child support is the setting of a fair amount from the get go, not some inflated impractical figure pulled out of the hat by lawyers or the state. That worked for us and we tied the amount of child support to my hourly wage and cost of living adjustment so that if I got a raise the child support also went up. Kept lawyers from getting any more of our money. It was also built in that the child support could not go down after each raise. That was a prevention clause I felt like should be added to ease the exes mind that I simply wouldn't quit my job to keep from paying.
 

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Well I traded half intrest in a house years ago for all the intrest in my son .Sold that house at the court house door .Left that divorce court with son no job or house .She sold out cheep i would gave it all to her.When he was 16 i went for support she spent more on two lawyers than the next two years support would of been :shrug: Now fed law after 1,000 bucks is a felony .In ky find your county attorney bug him don't take no for an answer be sure you have court ordered support papers YOU got to sine a warrent too i think .Current wife's x lived i Ok and thought he couldn't be got his thinking werent good .If my support was two days late i was at that county attorneys office pounding on the desk wanting to know where my money was all hundred twenty six bucks of it :viking: Most times they are locked up for contempt of court .Can you afford not to collect what your kids are due ??? Me i didn't have to have i did it because she said i wasen't smart enough to :D For anyone wanting to kick me that was long ago my son went to a great collage and now has a great job with not much chance of lay off unless we run out of crooks
 

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Windy is very smart. I like how he did it. When I met dh I guessed that the ex was rightfully p.o. because dh could not understand money which was why he could not get a bank account. He want to bi in the childs life and I assumed that the ex was refusing due to childsupport issues. I honest thought the child would get what he desired But I learned and it was a shock that not every woman is a mother or even a parent.

Tieing the amount as a set percentage and adding the col increases and raise clause is very fair. Even if you are never thanked for standing up to the plate and caring for your child I have much more respect for you.
 

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Being put in jail might make the state feel like they have 'done something' but how is that going to get the child support paid? It won't!

My husband (we have been seperated for 7 years -- will be 8 soon) didn't pay child support for the first 5 years (none was court ordered, because I didn't have the money to go to court to be legally seperated, much less divorced). Anyway he started paying two years ago...but only about 1/4 of the amount he should have been paying. I am perm. disabled, and can't work.

Four months ago, he stopped paying child support. He has been on disability for the past year, and now he is unemployed.

We had to go back on cash assistance from the state. (200$) What we have coming in doesn't cover the bills, much less food, and we have canceled all we can (cell, cable, everything),s old all we can, and I have been bartering my way to get Christmas. Bartering for warm clothing, coats, other things we need.

The state was SUPPOSED to go after him for the child support -- because he owes the state the money that they gave us to help us out. They didn't do it while he was employed! They aren't even doing it now (and he IS recieving unemployment). I contacted them...nothing. I should have more than enough for the kids and I to live on. Instead, I go to the food bank to buy my food and I have sold EVERYTHING there is to sell to get what I can to afford things we need.

He has sent the kids a box of clothing, but it is all light weight summer and spring stuff...not winter. Even here in Arizona, we need warm clothing in the winter!

If I had a lawyer I would get a court to order the child support, maybe then the state could get their share, and I could get my children's share. At least what he was paying before allowed us to buy food, and clothing and scrape by.

Now between the economy and the cost of things...we are hanging on by the skin of our teeth. ...and slipping
If he is on disability the child(ren) should get a check that YOU are entitled to get based on his disability check. This is considered support. Go down to the SSI office and ask about it. I know someone who went on disability and SSI gave his wife 219 each for their kids. Odd thing is the support order was for less than what the SSI paid her. So it was a win win for her.

The amount will depend on his previous earnings and how much his check actually is.
 

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We have a dead beat mom that is over 6k in arrears in the State of Arizona. DES found her and garnished her. Judge got sick of her excuses and decided that if she misses a payment by the next hearing (6 months) she goes to jail and ordered an additional amount of $1500 by next hearing or she goes to jail. It was a long 3 year road, but well worth the wait!!
 

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my daughter's father owes over 45K, hasn't paid but maybe 12 payments in 11 years. went to court and the judge looked at me and told me she couldn't make him get a job. he doesn't work, his mom pays his rent and food i assume. he hasn't seen my daughter in over 2.5 years but calls to make dates then cancels or fails to show. attempts to intimidate me by threatening to take me to court, told him i welcome the opportunity.

why is it that the departing parent isn't charged with neglect and abandonment? if i were to just walk away i believe i would be charged. interesting way we do things for the children.
 
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