Child Protective Services Questions Urgent

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by Loveourkids3, Dec 12, 2006.

  1. Loveourkids3

    Loveourkids3 Well-Known Member

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    I received a phone call at 8:30 tonight from a woman from the Dept. of Human Services. She told me that there had been accusations made regarding my stepson and son. She wants me to bring my son to her office after school tomorrow. She said she had already met with my stepson. The accusations only refer to stepson, son, and me. No mention of my daughter or my husband. She said it wasn't high priority and she didn't think I should be overly concerned. She said this way to nicely. This is the third time I have had to go through this. Stepson's mom reports some crap when she wants a child support increase. They finally stopped listening to her but this tiime she has a new spin. She denies my husband visitation majority of the time and coaches, bribes, bullies stepson. She tells him she has no money to take him places and it's all my fault. My kids get everything and he has nothing at our house. The last visit he would not change out of clothes from her house because he said none of stuff in his room was his. It was all my son's. My son is 3 shoe sizes bigger, 2 pants sizes bigger, 3 inches taller etc. My stepson has everything here that other kids do but he is with mom more. Sorry to ramble anyway mom tels stepson if she doesn't have to bring him here anymore she can get more money from Daddy and coaches him to tell school something so they will call in. I have taken and passed drug tests, both of my kids have been stripped, med. and dental records reviewed, cars checked out, entire house, fridge,closets, dressers everything. They have been to kids school checked grades attendance you name it. They have never found a thing. How many times do i have to take this? How much do i have to cooperate. The office I have to go to is in another county over an hour away. Every time this happens I have to jump through hoops to disprove accusations. They have been as ridiculous as saying that I did not have a refrigerator with a huge side by side packed full sitting in my kitchen. They have always came to house and kids school before so this time is a bit different. My nerves are worse than shot right now. I don't know what to do to put a stop to this. I feel like a sitting duck just waiting for some overzealous caseworker to say well something must be wrong or she would have given up by now. My stepson will say and do whatever mom tells him to even when he knows she's lying to him. I am sick and tired of my family being attacked. BTW if I am such an unfit paent wouldn't my husband be to for allowing whatever to happen? CPS has never seen or spoken to my husband during any of this?
     
  2. mama2littleman

    mama2littleman El Paso

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    Time for you to get a lawyer. I know it is expensive, but you are being harrassed and it needs to come to a stop. I'm pretty sure that the caseworkers know what is going on, but they are legally obligated to investigate a claim of child abuse or neglect. No use blaming them. But, an attorney representing your interests can get some of this to stop.

    Nikki
     

  3. fantasymaker

    fantasymaker Well-Known Member

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    mama is right............... feels good to say that agin after all these years.
    Had a GF go through this just lately the caseworker was new and inexperianced an blew it way outa proportion .She got a lawyer and suddenly there was a lot of apologizing going on....
    In this state after two accusations that are found unfounded it can be Felony harrassment.Be sure to check into what your state says.
    REmember if someone slings mud at you even if it dosent stick it leaves you dirty so come down on the accuser with both feet and make it stop.
     
  4. moopups

    moopups In Remembrance

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    It would be so much easier to read this if it were broken into paragraphs, with each idea having it own identity. The mass wording idea does not work for me, it is too overwhelming to comprehend so much with out a break to let some of it sink in.
     
  5. naturewoman

    naturewoman Well-Known Member

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    seems like she has a lot more important issues on her mind than punctuation right now.

    I agree that this is harassment. Ask the social worker what options you have to protect yourself from continuous accusations that are unfounded. Ask her to refer you to the information regarding such state laws on the internet. Do it nicely, calmly...try not to put her on the defensive. Try not to act like you are on the defensive either.

    Good luck...sounds like an attorney could really help, if you can afford one.
     
  6. jynxt

    jynxt Well-Known Member

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    you could also do a google search for some father's rights organizations. I know that alot of folks hate those type of groups but sometimes it pays to set adjust that urge to be judgemental.

    Other than that, get a lawyer. It sounds like has gone far beyond your ability to manage from a legal standpoint on your own. As far as I know you don't have to comply with all of the repeated requests to delve into all of your personal info and search your home etc. You could I guess refuse to cooperate with their requests unless they have a warrant or can at least give you enough information that you can understand the reasoning behind their requests.....but does that help you or hurt you?
    Personally I would get a lawyer.
     
  7. Niki

    Niki mini-steader

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    Made paragraphs for Moopups.

    Sorry you and the kids are going through this, LOK3.
     
  8. olehippy

    olehippy Well-Known Member

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    Where is your husband in all of this? She only harasses you? Sounds like a vindictive ex-wife (well you already know that). I'd have my dh step in and take over this mess. He'd have to go with me to the appointment and be there when all of this was happening. Why? Because truly this is his mess and you are just caught in the middle. Have him get an attorney and start taking care of this.
     
  9. olehippy

    olehippy Well-Known Member

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    I also wanted to add that this situation sounds similiar to one my bil/sil went through for years except CPS was never called or involved. My nephew was told by his mom that his father (my bil) never paid child support (he always did). Nephew was surly when he was at bil's house. It was a real mess from the time nephew was about 9 years until he was 12 years. He had been fine until he was 9.

    All this to say that nephew at around the age of 13 realized that none of this was true. He asked to live with his father/stepmom and has been there every since (he is 20 now). Bil/sil never bad mouthed his mom. My nephew just figured it out on his own. Amazing how children can do this.

    Nephew's mom would only allow nephew to move in with his father if he would sign papers to not accept child support. My bil did just this and raised nephew from 13 on with no support at all, not even help with medical, braces, dental. Those actions spoke loudly to my nephew.
     
  10. dale anne

    dale anne Well-Known Member

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    Howdy been there done that...first off do what ever CPS ask of ya....obtain all past documentaion of unfounded inquiry's......if hubby is paying child support then he should get off his butt and get to court asking that the judge enforce the child to see a shrink...cause not only are ya'll being hurt by this but so is the child!..and that my dear is abuse on her part!....Then once this has been disproven i would take all the paper work and file a claim against her in small claims court for harrasment and defamitory remarks....put in the paper work that any monies won will be put in a college fund for the boy to withdraw at age 18...this way the judge will see this isnt about money rather then justice!.....you dont need a layer for small claims court...however getting one to make her back off may be good as gold...I would also tell hubby to ask the court for supervised visits...I know this is going a bit far if ya'll are innocent and I assume ya'll are but this way the worker will see ya'll arent doing anything but will aslo see how the child is being brain washed....hope this helps.....dale anne
     
  11. FiddleKat

    FiddleKat Mother,Artist, Author Supporter

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    Did you say they stripped searched you/kids? I don't think that is legal. Also searching your cars etc. I think they would need a warrent to do that.

    Sorry for this trouble your having. She sounds like my brothers ex.
     
  12. newatthis

    newatthis Well-Known Member

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    I agree with olehippy- You didn't mention your husbands role to we are to assume that he just sits there and lets you do all the work.
    Hopefully he has some involvment.
    I also would get a lawyer. I know this would be expensive being that you are innocent but that ex-wife needs to be stopped.
    Good luck and keep us posted.
    Also if you are religous- pray
    I will pray for you if it is ok.?
     
  13. TeachMe

    TeachMe Active Member

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    I'd say get a lawyer and don't tread lightly with her. Some people only learn by being met with a vastly superior force to completely squash their objective (in other words, do everything you can to blow her out of the water :) ).
     
  14. Terri

    Terri Singletree & Weight Loss & Permaculture Moderator Staff Member Supporter

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    Using lawsuits to harrass somebody is something thst YOU can sue about, and courts resent being so used. It wastes their time and energy as well.

    Not to mention contempt of court for not allowing visitation.

    YEs, it is time to get a lawyer. Best case scenario, she looks like a fool, gets slapped down, and lays off for a LONG time!

    Also possible: she gets nervous about her behavior, and lays off for a while to avoid having to explain her behavior in court.
     
  15. Loveourkids3

    Loveourkids3 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for all of the replies. DH has never been accused of anything or interviewed by DCS. Which in my mind is crap because if any of the zillion accusations were true he would have been just as guilty for not intervening.
    I have requested that he go with me today. We are taking our son to his pediatrician first then to meet with this caseworker. We don't know what the accusations are this time as caseworker would not diiscuss them over the phone. I am really freaked out by her manner though. She just kept on saying it was no big deal. She was entirely to nice.
    We will take all of the prayers we can get. Thank You.
    We are going to look into getting an attorney again. The last one was a true blue member of the good ole boys network. They all seem to think it's perfectly fine to take as much money for doing nothing as they can from any non member. The mom in this case lives with a county cop who is twice her age and in good with all the judges. Who are BTW also the attorneys or their FIL's.
    I think when the dust settles from this episode we will be selling out and leaving this area. It is the worst feeling in the world to not be able to protect the kids from this crap. As long as we stay anywhere near here it will continue. My stepson has been so manipulated he doesn't even know what the truth is. My son cries for his brother and stays upset with us. He thinks that if we would just be nice to Her she would be nice. My daughter resents the whole situation. I think a straight jacket could be in my near future. This is so overwhelming. I love our kids and would do anything for them. The problem is how am I supossed to be a good mom when I'm up at 3:00 scrubbing the toilet, or not leting the kids play outside in case they get dirty, doing the dishes for the umpteenth time in a day so there are none in sink, etc. I just want to be left alone to raise my family.
     
  16. QBVII

    QBVII Well-Known Member

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    How tragic that a woman could do that to her son, I feel so sorry for you all!
    If I were you, I would definitely plan to leave the area, as long as you could have the your step-son for ordered, regular visits.
    That is way too close for comfort when dealing with a selfish witch like that.

    Oh, mercy, I didn't even see this:
    Yeah, you better be moving.
    BTW, most lawyers will enjoy the drama; it's making their living and they won't do anything to get you relief.
    I'm often amazed at the people who cry, "Get a lawyer!"
    The family court systems are notorious for dragging these sort of things on for years........it's good business for them.
    I'd consider moving a couple states away as long as you can have the stepson for regular visits and not be harrassed.
     
  17. Ninn

    Ninn Custom Crochet Queen

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    (tongue in cheek) I know a guy who knows a guy......lol.

    Seriously, start reading up on what your rights are in your state. Social Services law is way different than regular laws. And whatever you do, DO NOT take your son in there without an attorney and an unbiased witness in attendance. When they don't tell you what they want, it's usually a sexual offense and they intend to take the kid from you. (BTDT) Take a witness to every meeting and get everything they want you to do in writing before you leave the building. If that means you have to wait all afternoon, then wait. My DD is 17, pregnant and in foster care because they think her brother sexually assaulted her while he was in Arizona and she was in PA. Not humanly possible, but they have to err on the side of caution. She could have been home days after we got our new home but for that. I have a witness to everything now, becuase they never say the same thing twice.

    BTW-all those unfounded charges against you are a matter of record and you are legally entitled to copies of all that information. When you walk in that office armed with all that proof that she is just a vindictive broomstick lady, they will have to stop and think. It may not change what they do, but they will have to stop and think. And if you really think they are not paying attention-report the caseworkers. Childrens services is usually overseen by a board of private citiczens, not by the state. The one here is watched over by people thruought the county. No one knows who they are, but they have an office in Scranton where complaints can be filed.

    Above all, get pictures of everything in your house, with date stamps. Do it monthly if needed. Offer to let the caseworkers drop by any time, unannounced. I did that in court and it floored the judge. When asked why I would do that, I told him. I don't have anything to hide. Come by any time, my door is always open. It went a long way toward proving that I am in the right in this situation.

    Do NOT ask the caseworker what your rights are. They are not allowed to tell you, as that is considered giving legal advice. (and they wouldn't tell you anyway) Most lawyers give free or low cost consultations. Find one with a reputation for being a shark in family court and go for it. I will be praying for you here.

    And get group therapy. You have handled this alone way too long.
     
  18. QBVII

    QBVII Well-Known Member

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    Agreed; I wouldn't go to her office.
     
  19. almostthere

    almostthere Well-Known Member

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    If he is a cop, this could turn out very bad for him. This woman has ruined her son; he's probably doing a pretty good job of making up stories all by himself by now. I wouldn't be suprised if the boy, trained well by his mother, is now a key player. She wouldn't have to work hard to convince her cop husband and atty relatives that something is wrong if the boy comes home with stories just as big as hers. Not to say he is a horrible child, children learn what they see. this type of thing is learned behavior.
    Get all your paperwork together and ask the CPS worker to help you with the details. Does she realize that she now has a record with CPS?
    What county did you say you had to go to? Is it her County? Will she have an advantage? Maybe she got tired of loosing and went to a different county to see if she can start some crap there?
     
  20. dragonfly1113

    dragonfly1113 Well-Known Member

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    I would find a lawyer and try to put a stop to it. What you are experiencing is harrassment. I have been through some things with my husband's ex. And yes it gets very tiring. See a lawyer and get his/her advice.