Can SAD effect you in Summer?

Discussion in 'Homesteading Questions' started by crystalniche, May 29, 2006.

  1. crystalniche

    crystalniche Well-Known Member

    Apr 4, 2005
    I am wondering if the condition SAD can effect you in the Summer as well as in the Winter. Here is the situation~I am one of those people who prefer to be outside as much as possible. I feel my best on a bright, sunny day when I am doing something outside but I can't stand to be inside for very long. My DH and I are pretty much staying here while caring for my 90 yr old FIL. He lives in the city on a teeny little lot barely bigger than his house. He has his house all closed up tight. Very stuffy in here. He has the windows with the miniblinds all closed, window darkening shades pulled down over them then he taped the edges of the shades so no light gets in~and so no one can look in at him. Even during the day it is gloomy and dark in here. He has a piece of paper taped over the bathroom window then the shade taped shut. And he hates for the lights to be turned on! If my DH is not here for one reason or other I sit in the dark all day long with no light on because FIL will just turn it off on me. Says I am going to burn down the house by keeping a light on then he turns it off. It is now 9:45 am on Memorial Day and I can't even see the numbers on the calendar. To type I use the light from the moniter. He complains about the computer and would turn it off as well if he knew how but DH told him to leave it alone. The rest we can talk about until we are blue in the face but it does no good, he is very set in his ways. I am very, very depressed, feel in a good mood only when I am away from here. We go home each day and I can relax there, sit in the shady but bright yard and let myself relax for awhile. I cry everytime we have to leave to come back here to the "dungeon". The state social workers told me that I am responsible for caring for FIL because there is no one else. He needs 24/7 watching and they do not want him left alone. He is ok alone, doesn't do anything dangerous to himself. Doesn't get lost or anything. My husband is sick and goes to the hospital for treatments, most of the time I am supposed to go with him and I do. But when he has to stay that means I am here all day long, in the dark and only get to leave for the hour or so that it takes to go home and care for our animals.

    When DH was in the hospital and I had gone home to do the animals the social worker came here, quizzed FIL then took a check from him, brought him a meal and wanted to talk to me. My Mom and I went to their office and complained after I emailed them a nastygram about them taking a check from him. That is when they told me that I have to be here 24/7~no way! When DH got out of the hospital we went and talked to them again and because of DH's illness they say I am the one who is responsible for staying with FIL. Is this legal? I am only his daughter-in-law. Can they make me stay here if something happens to DH? They said I could get into big trouble if I left and something happened to FIL.

    Anyway, because of having to sit here in the dark for most, if not all day I find myself getting very depressed. When I get outside either at home or away from here I find that I feel much better. Almost euphoric.
  2. Meg Z

    Meg Z winding down

    Jun 8, 2004
    Honey, I can't help with the legal issues of dealing with your FIL, but I can comment on the SAD.
    Yes, not getting light is going to set that off, no matter what the reason for the deprivation. Think about how you feel in your own home when it's been overcast and raining for a week. Dreadful and dreary. Same thing, only worse, because you aren't even getting artifical light to help compensate.

    I'd say to sneak a sunlamp into the house, hide the dang thing in the bathroom or somewhere. Go in, block around the door with towels or more tape, so he won't see it, and BASK for a while!

    Good luck to you. I'm sure someone will be along soon with better advice.

  3. insanity

    insanity Well-Known Member

    Aug 22, 2004
    Clarksville TN.
    Yes sitting in a dark house would most likely make you feel terrible.I no it would me!
    You might try putting your ft down.Or better yet have your husband do it so it isn't reflected on you since he inst your blood relative.I no how that usually goes. Tell him ya ll can either open a window or two or he can go to a home!

    Sounds like the state is already involved.Id call an attorney to make sure your not responsible.As each state will have different laws regarding care.
    They tried pulling smiler crap with my grandma but she quickly tongue whipped anyone that spoke such blasphemy of her going to a home.And they new from her attitude there was no way anyone could live with her. :D So they let us ride it out as long as possible,with out interfering.But when she went to forgetting food was on the eye of the stove her DIL put her in a home.As she had signed the house and lord noes what else over to one of her other sons years earlier,DIL had the power.But we all told her the same thing, that the state forced her.After she was there she liked the company of the other folks and the around the clock catering of the staff. :rolleyes:
  4. Grandmotherbear

    Grandmotherbear Well-Known Member Supporter

    May 14, 2002
    Fl Zones 11
    Call Legal Aid. It's my understanding that unless you have accepted in writing a health Care Proxy, OR been mandated a Guardian in a court of law, you are not responsible. However, they really don't care. They just want to not have to have the responsibility themselves.
    Now, it may cause problems with your husband- this may be why you didn't consult a lawyer the last time you posted on this problem...but only you can decide if you want to keep your husband and fil happy and yourself miserable.
    You COULD just go around and open ALL the windows turn on ALL lights and rip out all the sunblocks and let your FIL declare you persona non grata also...there's more than one way to skin a cat than by buttering it with parsnips....
  5. nodak3

    nodak3 Well-Known Member Supporter

    Feb 5, 2003
    Definitely sounds like you are suffering from light deprivation, and more. Put your foot down. IF (and I don't think legally you are) you are responsible for fil, make it on your terms. If you prefer his house, do it there but with adequate lighting (safety first, ya know). Take him to your house. Do what ya gotta do. Otherwise these two guys will bury you.