Can I loan you my husband for a few hrs??

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by Queen Bee, Jan 17, 2007.

  1. Queen Bee

    Queen Bee Well-Known Member Supporter

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    :rolleyes: Anyone else feel like they just can get anything done??? We both work away from home. Usually, he works more hrs. than I do...giving me a few hrs to clean, do clothes, take a shower, cook and clean up the kitchen before he gets home... But since Christmas his hrs. are less than mine... He gets up and leaves , I get up and clean up his mess, throw clothes in the wash, shower, and then leave... When I get home...he has 'cooked' his dinner, dirty dishes on the counter, in the sink, trash/junk mail on the counter and island. He's laying on the sofa eating a bowl of ice cream--watch tv... I go into the bathroom and he has showered and left dirty,wet clothes in the floor. The clothes are still in the washer or dryer and the trash is falling out of the can....BUT he has fed the dogs! This has been his routine for three weeks now. I get mad when I am trying to clean and he is doing the 'flop'........ :shrug: So, can I send him over for a few hrs....
     
  2. roughingit

    roughingit knitwit

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    Would you accept that treatment from your kids? If he's making a mess and expecting you to clean it up than sounds like you're more a maid than a wife. Now if he cleans it up but has a different definition of "clean" then maybe he doesn't need to be given the whatfor as bad.
     

  3. Jen H

    Jen H Well-Known Member

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    If he can handle an excavator, we can use him here. There's a frozen plug somewhere in our water pipe between the well and the house that we need to find and fix...
     
  4. midwsthomestead

    midwsthomestead joy seeker

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    Ya know what they say about if things don't bother you, you really won't notice them--so maybe he doesn't realize the mess he's leaving and how it bothers you.

    Secondly, since his schedule is new, he may not realize that he needs to do a few more things around the house than usual.

    Time for a sit-down, not when you're mad, but when things are calm. Tell him what bothers you and ask him for his help since he gets home before you. Maybe ask him to simply pick up the dirty laundry and take out the trash....baby steps.

    Most folks that love each other will help once their eyes are opened.

    ~~
     
  5. Junkmanme

    Junkmanme Well-Known Member

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    If someone "borrows" your husband and doesn't return him, is that OK with you? (That is really the IMPORTANT question.....)
     
  6. Fla Gal

    Fla Gal Bunny Poo Monger Supporter

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    Even if it's only for a few hours, No Thanks! I've had one like that for two years and I'm tired of being a babysitter, laundress, maid and the only cleaner upper. :nono:
     
  7. Beltane

    Beltane Enjoying Four Seasons

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    No way!....Have you tried talking to him about this? It certainly doesn't sound like a good way to live, but he may not realize that it bothers you.
     
  8. Ardie/WI

    Ardie/WI Well-Known Member Supporter

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    In a word....NO!

    I didn't accept that behavior with my children so I won't from an adult.
     
  9. pumpkinlady

    pumpkinlady Well-Known Member

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    Oh my, he sounds like my husband. It can get to be depressing when you just walk in the door and find someone just lounging around. What I hate the most is when I walk in the door and hear, "What's for dinner"?

    I finally got to the point not to let it bother me as much and tell him I will cook later after I have a chance to relax or we are going out for a sandwich.

    When hubby is on midnight it is the worst. I feel like a can't even run the vacuum since he is resting or sleeping. He says it doesn't bother him, I think it bothers me more that I might be bothering him...LOL.

    Tell him how you feel. Being a man, I am sure he doesn't even know you are upset about this. He can't read your mind just like you can't read his.

    It comes down the the Mars/Venus thing.

    You probably feel better already just from venting.
     
  10. via media

    via media Tub-thumper

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    Does he do windows? :D

    I feel your pain. I tell mine "It's a good thing you're cute!" with this face => :grump: and he gets the hint.

    /VM
     
  11. suzfromWi

    suzfromWi Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Ive heard men say that women need to just come out with it. There not mind readers. Have a sit down and tell him what you need or just say honey while you have more time please clean up your messes. Plain and simple.....
     
  12. dixiedoodle

    dixiedoodle Well-Known Member

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    Mine does clean up,but he is always in the way! If I think about going to the bathroom;so help me he is in there. If I get up and start heading to bedroom to make bed up,he is in there.When I start cooking, he has to do something at the stove. When I try to do laundry,he stands directly in front of me,I have to go around.See he is disable and doesn,t work.If I want my broom, he has it outside for some reason.I love him to death but;don,t want to climb over my kitchen table just to get to washer.
     
  13. michiganfarmer

    michiganfarmer Max Supporter

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    your husband sounds like my wife. I work 70 hours per week. She works 30. I go home and try to cook meals from the freezer. She buys crap from the store, and fills the garbage with fod packaging, and lets it run over. She sits in front of the TV all day before she goes to work in the afternoon 3 days per week. Most days I get up at 5 am, go to work, get home at 6 pm, work outside fixing vehicles, feediing animals, doing house repairs, then come inside about 8 to give the kids baths, and try clean up the pig stye she left.

    I feel for you
     
  14. michiganfarmer

    michiganfarmer Max Supporter

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    there ya go. we dont read minds. we dont take subtle hints. we dont take obviouse hints. just tell us what you want.
     
  15. MelissaW

    MelissaW Well-Known Member

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    I hope you guys can work it out! I can't complain. I work nights a couple of days a week, so I always have their dinner made and waiting for them before I leave. Hubby usually does up the dishes, plus does the evening barn chores for me (the animals are my project, and I hate to ask it of him), and gets the fire going so the house is warm for me when I get home. He DOES tend to throw his shoes wherever he takes them off. When I gripe about it, he always jokes, "You'll miss tripping over my shoes when I'm dead!" He's right! Hopefully when you tell him it's bothering you, he will lend a helping hand. Good luck!
     
  16. suzfromWi

    suzfromWi Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Okay, so whats the matter with your voice box? Or your self worth? Comeon man get some cahoneys......
     
  17. ihedrick

    ihedrick Can't stop thinkin'

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    Right about now, if I could get an honest day's work out of a man; I'd clean up after him. Notice I said a day's work...it wouldn't last forever! I'd sit down and tell him how you feel. Don't just stop there; also let him know how he can fix the problem...give him options so he doesn't have to think (or heaven forbid do it his way :rolleyes: ). And lastly, make sure you tell him that even though this bugs the crap out of you; you still love him. That's my two cents worth.
     
  18. Slev

    Slev Well-Known Member Supporter

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    oh, leave that poor man alone! signed: His long lost twin!
     
  19. Ardie/WI

    Ardie/WI Well-Known Member Supporter

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    :rotfl: :rotfl: Suz, I just spit coffee! Regarding what you said, ain't it the truth!
     
  20. Queen Bee

    Queen Bee Well-Known Member Supporter

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    We have been married for 34yrs+....When we were younger and I stayed home (did the stay at home mommy thing) His hours were terrible, gone from home a lot--keeping the bills paid, so I could stay at home and take care of our kids. I did everything--animals, kids, house, yard, garden, clothes and I have to admit--I loved it! But the kids are all gone, I have gone back to work (to save for our dream of building our dream home, retire early and to do those extras we want). He is so spoiled and admits it. He would prefer me to stay at home but I really love my job, and I really love the money....

    He really needs a few outdoor projects, that he doesn't have to drive 25 miles (to the farm) to do!! IF I weren't so tight, I would hire a maid but the ones I have seen around here-- don't really clean--they just "hit the high spots" for 75$ a week!!! oh, well....gotta love him anyway...Queen Bee