Butt dust...read if you need a chuckle

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by dk_40207, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. dk_40207

    dk_40207 Well-Known Member

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    Location:
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    I got a much need laugh out of this, and thought it might be a blessing to someone else today! Read on until the end!

    What, you ask, is "Butt dust?" Read on and you'll discover the joy in it!
    These have to be original and genuine. . No adult is this creative!!


    JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After
    a while he asked: "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for
    cold milk?"


    MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so
    old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you
    look in the back of your panties.
    Mine say five to six."


    STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so much,
    that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window,"


    BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain
    to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it
    was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with
    wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"


    SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't
    give me this juice again," she said, "it makes my teeth cough."


    D.I. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I
    cost?"


    MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing
    in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is
    he whispering in her mouth?"


    CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what
    was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with this bed
    when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"


    JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man named
    Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked
    back and was turned to salt Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the
    flea?"


    TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled
    woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why
    doesn't your skin fit your face?"


    The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.. this particular Sunday
    sermon...


    "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a
    rapturous look on his upturned face.
    "Without you, we are but dust."
    He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who
    was listening), leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill
    little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?

    DK's girl
     
  2. Ravenlost

    Ravenlost Well-Known Member Supporter

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    LOL...reminds me of my kids when they were three and four. They both had a bad stomach virus at Christmas and had been throwing up for a couple days. Christmas Eve they were in my lap while I read "The Night Before Christmas". When I read the part,

    "Away to the window I flew like a flash,
    Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash."

    my poor son looked up at me and said, "Boy, he must have been really sick too".
     

  3. Lisa in WA

    Lisa in WA Formerly LisainN.Idaho Supporter

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    Ravenslost, yours should be added to the original list. So funny!
     
  4. michelleIL

    michelleIL tryna be His

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    Those were so funny! Just what I needed.
    Michelle
     
  5. Crystal H

    Crystal H Well-Known Member

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    Oregon
    My DH and I would giggle during sermons when we were reminded that we were nothing but dust much like the little one. We were in college though...
     
  6. Horselover

    Horselover Joyce

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    Eastern Shore, Maryland
    Enjoyed so much! I love kids and the funny things they say. Made my evening that is for sure.
     
  7. ericjeeper

    ericjeeper Well-Known Member

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    Brea , when she was little she had the poops really bad and she heard her mom call it diarhea, well she thought she said diaBrea> so when mom was sick Brea asked her is she had DiaMommy. still cracks us up when we tell that one at family get togethers
     
  8. chickenmommy

    chickenmommy nosey, but disinterested Supporter

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    Over dinner I asked my son what he had learned in school today. He said he learned that spiders aren't insects. Then asked "if spiders aren't insects what are they, outsects?" I nearly fell off my chair. That was more than 20 years ago.
     
  9. tinetine'sgoat

    tinetine'sgoat Luvin' my family in MO

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    Our dd 4 had a little gas problem the other night at supper. She was very polite and said excuse me each time. Well at the end my dh finaly asked her what was goin' on with her toots. She very calmly said, "the fairies in my head have went to sleep and they are in charge of my toots." I about fell out of my chair. I guess when they are asleep she has no control over them...who knew...wonder if it's the same for my dh? :)
     
  10. Ravenlost

    Ravenlost Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I have several dogs (and one BIL) who have obviously lost their toot fairies.
     
  11. HorseGal

    HorseGal Well-Known Member

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    That is so cute! I needed a thread like this today!
     
  12. caroline00

    caroline00 Well-Known Member

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    my 25 year old sons birthday is July 24. One his 4th birthday, he learned his birth date...

    the next year, we were getting ready for his birthday on the 24th and he had a fit... he insisted that that wasnt his birthday. I finally said "well, then, when is your birthday?"

    He said on the 25th. I corrected him and then he corrected me...
    "On the 24th he was 4. Now it has to be on the 25th because he is 5. " By the time he was 6, he got it straight...