Boasting about charity

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by jersey girl, Nov 29, 2006.

  1. jersey girl

    jersey girl Well-Known Member Supporter

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    My DH and I have always given donations as quietly as possible. I do not want the people knowing where the gift or help is coming from. If the person receiving does know, I ask that no one else be told.
    We always believed that if we get our thanks and accolades from people, God doesn't need to bless us as much. We have found that with anonymous giving, our blessings always multiply.
    I work with a woman that is ALWAYS donating money and other things to very worthy causes. She is very generous, a model for all. My only problem, is that she is sure to tell every one what she is doing. The other day, she carried a box around all day to tell everyone she was filling it with gifts for an angel tree. Although generous, she brags about it so everyone tells her how wonderful she is.
    To me, this sort of giving seems tainted, although the reciepents don't care, they are thankful.
    What does everyone else think on giving?
    Joanie
     
  2. Christine in OK

    Christine in OK Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Personally, I think it's the reasoning behind the telling - it's okay to tell someone what you're doing if the reasoning is to get them to help or make others aware. If you're doing it just to get people to notice you, well....
     

  3. trixiwick

    trixiwick bunny slave

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    JG, I feel the same way you do about giving. At the same time, I realize that not everyone is like me, and there's no good reason everyone should be. Truth is that this woman's money is as green as anyone else's, and ultimately, who cares what her motivation is for giving? Looks to me like without the ego candy, she wouldn't be giving at all, and that wouldn't help anyone. :shrug:
     
  4. jersey girl

    jersey girl Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I don't mean to judge her, it just seems odd to me. I was just curious what everyone else thought.
    Thanks for your answers.
    Joanie
     
  5. jerzeygurl

    jerzeygurl woolgathering

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    well as a Christian I can tell you what Jesus said about it in matt 6, I do believe that is good advice to follow, and yes he says if you are recieving praise from man, then THAT is your reward, and if you do not recieve praise then you will be rewarded by him. I suppose that is what it boils down to, Who do you want praising you..
     
  6. lgslgs

    lgslgs Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like she's a bit of a bottomless pit and that even doing good doesn't fill the emptiness for her. Bragging is often a form of begging for reassurance and validation.

    How sad. But it's better that her efforts do truly help others. Lots of folks who feel empty just throw money away trying to buy themselves a way to feel better.

    It's uncomfortable seeing people who are that needy for reassurance - especially the way they ask for attention is through pushy and awkward behaviors like bragging.

    Lynda
     
  7. Ardie/WI

    Ardie/WI Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Gosh, I think that womans behavior is tacky.

    We give anonymously(sp?).
     
  8. Bret

    Bret Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I experienced that as soon as I told someone about my charity that it left a bad taste in my mouth and the good feeling of giving went away. But I have to tell this one on myself. Hope you get a laugh.

    It was near Christmas and a young couple were in the grocery line in front of me with lots of people behind us. All of the lines were full. The couple did not have enough money for the items in their cart and were selectively removing items to get down to the amount of their cash. I felt moved to pay for their groceries while wondering to myself if I would have enough in my pocket to pay for our own groceries.

    I winked at the cash register person and handed her cash to pay for the couples food as quietly and low key as possible. What do you think happened?

    The young man broke into loud song and dance "Oh My God!....Thank you Jesus.....Thank you sir....I can't believe this!....He just bought our groceries!" On and on....louder and louder.

    I wanted to shrink and crawl away. :)

    The last time I felt that way was when I let a pasture fire get ahead of me.
     
  9. jersey girl

    jersey girl Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Thanks Jerzygurl. I thought it was in the Bible but did not yet look for it. I didn't want to say anything without being sure. The other woman and I both profess to be Christians, but we have very different views on some subjects.
     
  10. teresab

    teresab Well-Known Member

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    Joanie, I'm with you...the reason for giving should be that someone else is blessed by your gift. I don't do it so God will bless me or anyone else will.....but because I enjoy the thought that hopefully my gift will help someone out. And you know even though I don't "expect" a blessing....I always receive one.
     
  11. jnap31

    jnap31 garden guy

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    I agree I dont anounce my gifts with trumpets either. I had to look twice with two jerseygirls on this thread!
     
  12. Jenn

    Jenn Well-Known Member Supporter

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    pray in a closet... and donate anonymously. However public giving encourages others to do so- but at the office it's almost coercive especially if she were the boss over anyone.
     
  13. trixiwick

    trixiwick bunny slave

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    At some point, aren't you bragging about not bragging? :stars:
     
  14. Macybaby

    Macybaby I love South Dakota Supporter

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    I wouldn't worry about it. Everyone knows in their heart the true reason they are giving. If it is for worldly accord - so what. Lots of people do lots of things so other people will think better of them.

    If a person brags about how "God" led them to donate, and how it pulled their heart strings and "yada, yada, yada" then I'd consider them a hypocrite, since if they truly were doing it to serve the Lord, then they should do as He requested, and keep it private.

    My FIL likes to give, and he does so very puplicly, and loves people to pat him on the back and tell him how wonderful he is for doing so. He's an atheist, so he's not going to give God the credit for anything. Though I do think there is a part of him that thinks "I'm really not that bad of a guy, so if by chance there really is a God, I should do ok". People sometimes confuse salvation with a popularity contest. You don't get voted into heaven.

    When I see someone getting wordly aclaim, I just have to know in my heart what my own motivations are. If I am mad because they are getting attention, and I'm not, even though I secretley give as much, then I pray that the Lord will help me let that go, and have a true servants heart. Sometimes it's very hard to hate the sin but love the sinner.

    Cathy (sorry, I got to rambling)
     
  15. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    The only thing worse than tooting your own horn about giving to charity is....

    the person who expects a hand-out and complains that the hand-out isnt big enough or good enough :flame: :nono:
     
  16. Madame

    Madame Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Maybe she's tooting her own horn...or maybe she wants to share her enthusiasm about the recipients, thinking it might encourage others to share as well. Sometimes I tell what I give, sometimes I don't. Because of the fact that I do sometimes tell, my sis is now sponsoring 2 children through Children Inc and my good friend is a regular donor to Heifer Project. Mostly when I tell it is because I am enthusiastic about the charity.
     
  17. caroline00

    caroline00 Well-Known Member

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    no matter what her attitude is...
    some children will be blessed with Christmas gifts and will have no idea what attitude it was given with. I think people who are really in need, think positively about the givers no matter who they are.
     
  18. Pony

    Pony Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I like to give, and I try to be quiet about it.

    OTOH, there are times when I can share with someone else about an opportunity for service or giving, and then I will speak right up -- but only when it is really obvious to me that I should be sharing information.

    When the kids were little, I felt it important to demonstrate to them how to take advantage of opportunities to give and/or serve. If I kept the giving I did "under wraps" then they would not have learned. I made it a point to say, "Let's help this person" and showed them how to do it so that it didn't draw attention to the giver or recipient.

    If I saw a sister in the Lord who was looking for the approval of others for her giving, I'd take her aside and quietly mention it to her, but in such a way that didn't make her feel defensive. "Suzy, I know that you really support this charity, and maybe you talk about it a lot to encourage others, but perhaps it's best to just suggest to tell them about the charity itself, instead of all the different things you do for it. They may think you have it all sewn up and there's nothing left for them to do! Haha..."

    Or something like that. Maybe you should remind her about the verses in Matthew... I dunno. I'm about as sharp as a box of marbles today... Must be all the rain.

    Pony!
     
  19. culpeper

    culpeper Well-Known Member

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    Here's a different perspective. That woman just might be spreading the word about the charities she donates to, as a way of making others aware that these charities are there, and that they need donations.

    I think that's a more charitable attitude than that she's boasting about doing good in the community, don't you? Let's not be too unkind to a person who is clearly very generous in giving to those more needy than herself. I don't think we should knock her too hard. I must say that I prefer the 'boasting' (if such it be) over the sanctimonious attitudes expressed by some!
     
  20. dezeeuwgoats

    dezeeuwgoats Well-Known Member

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    I found this quote some time ago and really appreciated it:

    If I appear to be remiss in gratitude and appreciation and offering thanks for the kindnesses and support you show me directly and indirectly, this is not out of arrogance or indifference, or because I do not know what it behooves the recipient of a favor to say and do. But I was aware of the purity of your faith, that you do those things sincerely for the sake of God; so I leave it to God to thank you Himself. If I were to concern myself with thanking you and praising you, it would be as though some part of the resward that God is going to give you had already been paid. (Rumi)

    Helped me rethink not only my own motives for giving of any type, but also have a laugh at some of the social/culteral gymnastics we have to go through to show our 'gratefulness'.....

    Niki