Because he'll be ok, I can vent a bit

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by Jen H, Dec 16, 2006.

  1. Jen H

    Jen H Well-Known Member

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    We thought we'd hidden the medi-set well enough. Well, this morning FIL found it and took all of the medication left in it. Not all at once, he'd take the morning dose, then forget and take the noon dose, then forget and take the evening dose (just in case the other compartments had been left empty on accident)..... All told, he took 3 days worth of blood pressure medication, anti-depressant, and anti-tremor medication (sodium butisol for his familiar tremor). The attendant got there at 1 (her normal time), and found FIL acting very confused and strange - she called us and then called the ambulance.

    He'll be fine. It'll take a few days for the confusion to wear off. Until then either Husband or I will stay with him when the attendants aren't there.

    We've locked away the actual pill bottles because FIL was getting them confused - taking anti-depressant instead of the anti-tremor. And we've had the attendants give him his meds - the medi-set is to make things easier for them, they also have a written schedule of what medications he takes at what times. Now we'll need to get a separate lock box that only the attendants have access to so we can lock the medi-set away as well. :(

    I keep thinking that things have stabilized and we can relax just a bit and get back to our own lives. Then it all takes a sudden turn and we have to re-adjust. I know FIL isn't doing any of this maliciously - he forgets things - but I can't help feeling annoyed by yet another intrusion. And I know that feeling isn't fair to him - I love him.

    Monday, when the office opens, I need to call and schedule the attendants for more hours. Which means another juggling act with our budget which is already straining. MIL died without signing her will, so the bulk of their finances are tied up until that's settled. It also means another argument with FIL, because he doesn't think he needs any of these people around.

    I just want to cry.
     
  2. Wildwood Flower

    Wildwood Flower Halfway, OR & Wagoner, OK

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    Jen,

    I really sympathise with you. It's got to be really tough. Your FIL sounds like he needs a pretty much constant companion. I do hope that his financial thing is figured out soon. I can't understand about that. Did they not have community property? Hmmm.

    Do you have any siblings that can help out too? Sorry if you already told about this.

    ((((HUGS))))) and glad FIL is okay! WHEW! That could have been really BAD!
     

  3. BasicLiving

    BasicLiving Well-Known Member

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    Jen H - I am so sorry. I just can't imagine what you're going through. You're an angel for caring for your FIL and I pray you'll find some help so relieve you of some of this.

    I wish I had the proper words of wisdom or comfort for you. But all I can really offer is (((hugs))) and prayers.

    Penny
     
  4. Jen H

    Jen H Well-Known Member

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    Husband is the only child. He does have cousins, but they're in Pennsylvania and Massachusetts. They're sending moral support, but can't be here for the day-to-day.

    My sister will be coming up in January to help with sorting through paperwork and boxes.

    This is a community property state, but MIL did some funky things with their bank accounts and investments. Those are being sorted out, but it takes time, unfortunately. I'm just really thankful we had a good-sized saving's account to dip into.
     
  5. Ann-NWIowa

    Ann-NWIowa Well-Known Member Supporter

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    The main reason my m-i-l ended up in the nursing home was that she was taking her medication wrong. I could rant a bit about this ... we had her with us for 6 months getting her straightened out with meds ... b-i-l decided that she needed to go back to her apartment and the only way the doctor agreed was that they supervise her meds. They didn't. She overdosed and fell breaking her hip. When she got home from the hospital after that they still didn't supervise meds so she would get up in thse a.m. take her meds, take a nap, then thinking it was a.m. again, more meds so she kept falling due to over medication. Doctor told them she should not be alone but we weren't told until b-i-l finally decided he wasn't going to keep running in when she fell and said nursing home. We were fortunate in that dh had put his mother's name on the waiting list at our local nursing home so we were able to move her 3 blocks from us. I think this happens way to often. Nothing intended on the elderly's part just confusion. Heaven knows they are taking enough meds to confuse a R.N. BTW m-i-l improved drastically with her meds under control in the nursing home.

    I know many people absolutely hate the idea of their family member going into a nursing home, but sometimes its the best answer for all concerned. Also, if you f-i-l is in need go to DHS don't bankrupt yourselves physically and financially trying to do it all. There are programs available to pay for home help, visiting nurses etc. Your tax dollars support these programs so don't hesitate to use them.
     
  6. dragonfly1113

    dragonfly1113 Well-Known Member

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    That happened to my dad last week. My step-mom puts his meds in containers that say day meds and night meds. He got up at 1:30 am and decided to take his night meds (which he had actually taken at 9pm) and then when he was shaving a little later he saw that there was daytime pills so he took them. Needless to say he was out of it for a day. He slept most of the time. He has 13 different meds he has to take twice a day.
     
  7. anniew

    anniew keep it simple and honest Supporter

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    You can only do the best you can and then you have to let it go or it will make YOU sick. You are doing a good job. Keep helping as much as you can, but don't kill yourself doing it. That doesn't help anyone.