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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My wonderful (but incredibly stubborn) grandmother has FINALLY moved to assisted living. We signed her up for a "respite stay" (up to 2 months) to recover from a fractured pelvis (happened Monday). Grammy would like to go home when she is "better" but she is somewhat practical about it and isn't sure she'll ever make it back. I think she should have been in assisted living about 2 years ago when arthritis made it impossible for her to stand for very long (and therefore couldn't cook meals, etc) but that's another story. Anyway, we moved her in last night and I would like to make it so wonderful that she doesn't want to go back home!

We (secretly) moved some of her favorite furniture and pictures into the room while she was doing the intake. She loved it. She has a fridge full of yummy snacks but she isn't much of a snacker (actually, her nutrition was really poor and has probably lost 20 or 30 pounds this year). She's got her TV and we've written down which channel Larry King is on. :p I live mere blocks from the facility so I'm going to be checking on her frequently until she settles in a little more or until she tells me to leave her alone! The staff there is wonderful and will be actively engaging her and encouraging her to join the activities. In fact, she already had a hair appointment at the in-house salon this morning!

I'm just looking for any advice from people who have moved relatives to assisted living. I need to convince her that this is THE place for her even after her pelvis is healed (the doc thinks in 2 weeks she will be pain free!). What things helped/hurt the most in the transition?

Thanks everyone!
 

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A neighbor of ours was losing her memory, and none of us realised it until we saw that she was getting painfully thin. She was forgetting to eat.

As for your Granny wanting to stay there, visit frequently. Not just you, but the whole family. Between ready access to family, good food and the activities they provide, she will also make new friends there. That may do it for her!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I do think part of her weight loss (she is 5'10" and weighs 110 lbs) is forgetting to eat and part of it is simply not having the energy to march down to her kitchen and fix something. She has a long ranch style house and her bedroom is "4 miles down the road" from the kitchen, as she puts it!

Yep, we have family pretty well lined up to have one visit a day at least for the next week. She especially asked for my brother and his wife last night so I've got them signed up for dinner tomorrow. She doesn't want her friends seeing her just yet - she is in quite a bit of pain and moans and groans when she gets up and walks and she is stubbornly proud of her good health (nary a cold in 88 years!). But I suspect in a week or two, she will give in to their requests for a visit!

Thanks!
 

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My mother thrived in assisted living. Prior to going into it, she was not eating well at all. The meals the assisted living place were wonderful, and her health improved tremendously while she was there. She is 94 and unfortunately she now has some form of dementia and is living with my sister. If not for that, she would still be at the assisted living facility.
 

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My Mother in law is also in assisted living. She seems very happy. Did you take some of her pictures and
nic nacs to make her feel at home? :)
 

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My advice, based on personal experience; get to know the staff (nurses, aides, case managers, etc.), get to know the medications and physical therapy schedules, etc. Let the staff know your family is very interested in seeing that your grandmother is happy and healthy under their care. If your family has at least one "point person" who checks regularly with the nursing station and case manager on how things are going, it is possible to discover problems before they get too big.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks guys. It's so nice to hear about people who are thriving in an environment like the one she is in!

Did you take some of her pictures and nic nacs to make her feel at home?
Hehehe. In her bedroom at home, she has a big table with what she calls "the rat's nest" - all sorts of papers and magazines and knick knacks that basically represent her day to day life (she probably spends 90% of her waking hours at that table). We brought every last little item from the table and put it right where it belongs. She nearly feel over laughing when she saw it. She even picked up her little red fire truck toy and kissed it goodnight just like she has for years! :p

Good tip Maria. Since I'm so close, I'm trying to be that point person. My aunt has POA and is more up on the business side of things and is the emergency contact. But they have my number too and I sat around and chatted with several of the staff this morning drinking coffee in the lobby (I stayed the night with her the first night) and they are all wonderful people. I will continue to have a relationship with them to make sure things are going smoothly. I do need to remember to do that instead of just making a beeline to Grammy's room when I go visit.

Alrighty, I'm on my way back over there to see how she did on her first full day "at the home" (I think she secretly delighted in telling her friends that her family was sending her "off to the home"...followed by a big sigh of course!). I do hope she did well!
 

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It sound's like granny, already knows that she will be staying for good. :)

She is stubborn, so just make sure to convince Granny, this it's HER decision to stay.

Good luck.
 

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Our family wasn't very familiar with assisted living when we realized my mom couldn't live on her own any more. She has some dementia and even if she remembered to eat, she couldn't remember how to prepare the food. She has been in assisted living for 3 years now and it has been wonderful for her!

A lot of our relatives kind of raised their eyebrows when they heard that she had moved. They all thought "those kids, how could they put her in one of those places?" When they did come to visit, though, they could see that it's as much like her own place as it can be. She even has her cat there. She comes and goes as she pleases, but just has help with things that she can't do any more. The clincher was the in-house beauty salon--she is so proud of the fact that she can get her hair done without even going outside!!!

Another nice thing is that it is connected to the nursing home by a hallway. Now that might not seem important, but, when she broke her hip last year, and had to stay in the nursing home for rehab, she was already familiar with some of the workers, and some of the residents, and that made it an easier transition. And although I think she thought she was going to have to stay in the nursing home forever, she was extremely thrilled when she got to go back "home" :)

I joke with her and tell her she "lives like a rich person!" She's got someone to do her cooking, someone to do her cleaning, someone to drive her around.....
 
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