Another test from my 5yo

Discussion in 'Countryside Families' started by mpillow, Dec 29, 2006.

  1. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I've said it before on here that my 5yo daughter is well...wild...and my older two kids have gone to grandparents

    She ran off down the trail today with the pup....in the 10 min it took me to light the cookstove and put beans on....she was supposed to be in her sandpile...

    She was playing on some very thin partially broken ice when I found her...after I found the puppy...I managed to fall on some other ice just before the dog came running...jarred my left leg a good one...OUCH!

    At that point I'd already gotten the neighbor to help as well as called husband at work---his work called to say they would close shop and everyone would come looking for her...(its cold and its 400 acres behind us)

    So I asked her why she didnt answer me.."I dont know" GRRRRRR :flame:
    Did you hear mommy? "YES" Then I porceeded to get sick and cry all at the same time(scared relief)....Daddy flew in the dooryard....and tore her a new butt....and went back to work.

    The full moon must be near....she's been building for a few days... :hobbyhors

    Never had any trouble with other kids like this....she lies, steals, hordes, loves strangers, and runs off, too, now...UGH!

    A sophisticated little lady :rolleyes: She alone is the "work" of 5 kids which is why she isnt off at grandparents with the other 2.....
     
  2. Maura

    Maura Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Does she have ADD or ADHD? If you can put a name to it, you would be able to work up new ways of raising her.

    Even kids without ADD can have problems focusing and problems with boundaries.
     

  3. Ninn

    Ninn Custom Crochet Queen

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    I feel for you. My 6 year old grand daughter uses that same phrase all the time.
    "I don't know" is her answer to every question her mother asks....lol. I think part of it is the age. She probably knew why she wasn't answering at the time, but by the time you found her, she forgot! Some days, they make you wonder why child cages are illegal, don't they? I don't envy you the search, tho. We've done that with Angela a few times, usually after dark when she got bored and wanted to go to Ninn's house or her other Gramma's house. She got 4 miles down the road one day before she got tired!!! Needless to say, she didn't sit well for a few days after that. Wasn't allowed to go to Ninn's for a while, either......lol.
     
  4. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    She's active and exciteable but not hyperactive or unable to focus...she can read and knows all her numbers to 100 and does adding and subtracting
    She has a huge imagination and likes to help around the house but needs no temptations as she creates her own.
     
  5. pyrnad

    pyrnad Well-Known Member

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    The full moon is January 3rd.
    I hope you and she are all right.
    Hang a bell on her.
     
  6. suburbanite

    suburbanite Well-Known Member

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    She didn't reply because she was too busy playing and figured you probably wanted to make her stop and come do something or eat something or whatever.

    She's probably gifted and bored.
     
  7. coalroadcabin

    coalroadcabin Well-Known Member

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    Just what I was thinking.
     
  8. Windy in Kansas

    Windy in Kansas In Remembrance

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    Well----you bury these wires in the ground, then you install a shock collar----

    Perhaps strapping a walkie-talkie on her would be an answer.
     
  9. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Well thats probably true, however, it does not excuse her from answering my call....a little thing called respect for safety goes a long way....I live very close to a few "predators" and she NEEDS to respect my wishes as her mother no matter what for her own darn good....
    Her biological parents are both mentally challenged and sperm donor is a sex offender....so we knew when we adopted that we would be challenged and we are lucky that she is a smarty pants BUT common sense/fear doesnt come thru very well for her :nono:
     
  10. Laura

    Laura Well-Known Member

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    My youngest is in the autism spectrum and did similar stuff. The Grandmas refused to babysit her unless one of her sisters were there to help keep track.

    Professional Grandma, a special ed. teacher of 30 years, learned the hard way. While staying with grandparents, goofy child got up before anyone else, got dressed and went outside, dug around the ashpile from the night before's campfire and found a few hot coals, moved them to a different location with a shovel, then preceeded to feed it until it was a nice sized campfire again.

    Meanwhile Grandma and Grandpa got up, had coffee and breakfast, then went in wake her up and she wasn't there. They searched every corner of the house then noticed her boots and coat were not by the door. While Grandma was dialing 911, Grandpa went out looking for her. He found her in a sheltered part of the yard out of view from any windows, roasting marshmallows on a rip snort fire. It was 7 am and goofy child was 6 years old.

    Here in Western Washington there are a lot of attractive water hazzards for adventurous goofy kids. We lived with creeks, waterfalls, beaver ponds, swamps, sloughs and ditches too close to the yard to be safe. Since this kid was a baby, she loved water so I keep a kiddie pool in the yard that I can see from a window with goldfish and tadpoles, pretty rocks and marbles in it and this held her attention pretty well.

    We also have a babysitter border collie who would snitch her out if he couldn't keep her in the yard. He will lead us right to her.

    We have squeaky door hinges so no one comes in or out without me knowing. Bells or chimes would work, but squeaky doors wake me from a dead sleep.

    This kid was no respector of fences, either, didn't understand the boundary thing at all. She went through, over or under all kinds of fences. Having horses justified the 6 strand electric perimeter fence, AKA The Electric Playpen! She has 5 acres to roam and a dog escort at all times.

    She's 12 now and these issues haven't been a problem since she was about 10. Maybe you can use some of these ideas with your daughter. I KNOW the heart thumping terror of being Mommy to one of these kids!
     
  11. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Our border collie was happy to see her go I think....along with the annoying pup...she has mean tendencies w/ critters too...

    I feel like I was run over by a Mack truck now that the adrenaline has let down...she however is playing and being busy as usual.
     
  12. Laura

    Laura Well-Known Member

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    I understand! This is the only family member the b.c. ever bit. While DH wanted to punish the dog, I had to ask what she was doing to him to get herself bit. She was wrapping a cable tightly around his neck and didn't stop when he told her to. She got a spanking, the dog got a hug and a treat for showing restraint.


    Yeah, I hate adrenaline hangovers!
     
  13. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

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    May I please print out your post and hand it to people when they ask me why I don't have children??

    donsgal
    blissfully childfree
     
  14. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Print it if you like...
    but I will say that the pain and work endured in raising kids is far surpassed by the love I share with/for my kids...you take the bad with the good and keep on going... :shrug:

    My sister is blissfully childfree and graciously takes them on vacations and alot of weekends, but she gives them back and says "I dont know how you do it"...and I say "With your help" :)
     
  15. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

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    Yep, you have no choice.

    I wonder, parents *did* have a choice to give them back or "keep on going",
    how many would opt for the former. More than would admit, I'll wager.

    donsgal
     
  16. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I wouldnt give them back....but I had them on purpose...

    And I know deep inside of me that No Other Person will love and care for my kids as deeply as I do...its just the nature of a mother....there are egg donors and mothers-- just like sperm donors and fathers...eggs and sperm have one purpose...mothers and fathers have many purposes....protect, nurture, teach,provide....its just that many people don't "plan" on the work but focus on the "cute".

    Lots of people take puppies back to the pound too....but have kids....that I've never understood.
     
  17. Laura

    Laura Well-Known Member

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    Donsgal, you are mistaken, we DO have the choice to relenquish our children for someone else to raise. Not all children in foster care were "taken away" from the parents, many were given because the mother couldn't cope and she knew it. Most of these mothers are mentally ill and still want to do the best for their children. I think the average age of relenquishment is about 2 years old.

    Catholic Family Services, Lutheran Family Services, LDS Family Services are just a few of the agencies that provide private foster care and adoptions outside of state social service involvement.

    In spite of the ease of which we can dispose of our children without guilt, so many of us choose to cowgirl up, develop nerves of steel and love our children through the tough years, keeping a close relationship with them to enjoy the rest of our lives.

    Perhaps you should print out all our threads of trials and tribulations with our kids to keep you convinced you made the right choice to be childfree after the love of your life passes away, your best dog is long dead, your friends all show up in the obituaries, and the world has let you know they have no use for old people.
     
  18. donsgal

    donsgal Nohoa Homestead

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    And maybe I can share them with the other old people at the nursing home who have children who never come to visit and don't care if they live or die. Good idea, thanks.

    donsgal
     
  19. mpillow

    mpillow Well-Known Member Supporter

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    I harbor no resentment for your choices donsgal...many many people dont actually make a conscious decision one way or the other....it happens by "accident" alot... And, I would venture to say that you really wouldnt care if I disagreed with you....you are firm in your stance and thats fine.

    I do think though that you have alot to offer in teaching older kids say 8-16 about looking toward the future, making sound personal choices and having respect for life itself.

    Though you may not want to be a full-time mother....lots of kids could use some good direction in their lives ( those with parents who fail to make the mark) and I think you bring alot of foresight and common sense to the table. I'm thinking something like Big sister's volunteer type work?? or home for little wanderers..

    Lots of times with fostercare not just the minor children need parenting, often the biological parents have a huge need for direction too....I went to school with my 5yo's mom and her home-life was horrible on top of being MR and the special ed. teacher was convicted of molesting the mom and 3 other kids.

    We decided to give her a home and be her parents no if, ands or buts...to help in the way that we felt best doing...not everyone has to do the same job or have the same level of committment to be helpful in the bigger picture :)
     
  20. tinknal

    tinknal Well-Known Member Supporter

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    This really does sound like something in the range of "normal" behaviour for a 5 yo. I did something similar when I was about 5. There wasn't quite the risk involved, but a 5 yo really doesn't do a very good job of risk assesment.