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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a home I approved that is coming out to meet my special needs girl. They sound like an ideal home and I know thier vet, training place they go to, etc. They loved everything they heard about her, her photo, have plans on what they would like to do with her- thought they would be coming out to adopt her. But they want to come out and MEET her, not because they are wary or want to access her needs in person (which I could understand)...they said that they think a dog should pick them. For some reason, this annoys me as I feel they will have really high expectations as to what constitutes being picked.
For one, collies tend to be reserved on first meeting someone- that is normal for a collie- bred into them to be wary of strangers until they know they are OK. Second, she is mostly blind, so not like they can expect the pup to run up and lavish them with kisses on first site no matter what breed she was- I expect she will sniff around at them and thier dog for awhile and feel them out. Will they take that as "not being picked"?
Am I completely off base, or would this annoy you too?
 

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You may be a bit sensitive. They may have had a previous pet that didn't bond. They may be concerned about how their dog will react. Lots of reasons, not enough information. Just take the meet and see how it goes. Good luck!
 

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It is my personal opinion that you love this pup and are stongly advocating for her to find the "right" home. The fact that these folks go about getting a dog differently than you do had raised your hackles. Take a deep breath, it will all work out just the way it is supposed to. Sis
 

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Dealing with anybody in that capacity would annoy me ...that's why I wouldn't make a good breeder/rescuer/home finder. :p
It sounds to me like they just want to see the pup before they commit and are just making lousy small talk. They might be nervous. There is some kind of romanticism with having a dog "pick you" I guess... when deep down they just don't want the dog to hate them.
I hope it works out and they get picked ;)
 

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I don't know what is wrong with your pup, but if she is "special needs" I'd think you should consider yourself lucky to find someone who is willing to take her on. If they think that they need to see her first, I don't find that unreasonable at all. If you think their expectation of having the pup "pick" them is unreasonable, explain your feelings to them in advance. Maybe they need a little educating in that regard?
 

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They're thinking of making a big commitment. It doesn't seem the least bit unreasonable to me that they would want to "meet" the dog first.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks. I will.

It is my personal opinion that you love this pup and are stongly advocating for her to find the "right" home. The fact that these folks go about getting a dog differently than you do had raised your hackles. Take a deep breath, it will all work out just the way it is supposed to. Sis
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
No, I don't consider myself lucky. I don't see it that way at all. She is not a problem nor a burden to me, she gets along fine with the other dogs , animals and people and has no bad habits (does not even bark). She is a little over a year old, and has a home for life here if the right home does not come along. I would like to see her go to a secure home where she can get more individual attention and house time than what she gets here, but if that home doesn't come along- so be it.
I don't think thier request to see her first is unreasonable at all (thought I stated that)- I would expect anyone getting anything would want to see it before bringing it home- be it a tv or pet. They don't know me from Adam- how do they know if I am telling the truth about her or minimizing her disabilites? What rubbed me the wrong way is having the requirement that she pick them. To me that says they have high expectation of adoration from a dog they just met. Now you can get that from a 8-10 week old pup- but I would never expect it from a year old. I never expected that when choosing a dog as you have to earn some respect and be accepted as pack leader before you get that. My son (who she knows) just moved out a couple weeks ago and stopped by tonight to visit. She did not fall all over him and lavish kisses upon him. She went up to him and after sniffing him, sat and waited to be pet. Now if that is not a response they are expecting, then I guess she will stay.
I don't know what is wrong with your pup, but if she is "special needs" I'd think you should consider yourself lucky to find someone who is willing to take her on. If they think that they need to see her first, I don't find that unreasonable at all. If you think their expectation of having the pup "pick" them is unreasonable, explain your feelings to them in advance. Maybe they need a little educating in that regard?
 

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Well, if they don't feel that she "picked" them, then she is better off staying with you anyway. They are probably looking for some kind of instant connection with your dog, which in a way I understand. Every dog that has come into my life, no matter their age, there was an immediate connection, even if only in a subtle way, I recognized and felt it. Maybe that's what they mean.
 

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They're thinking of making a big commitment. It doesn't seem the least bit unreasonable to me that they would want to "meet" the dog first.
I agree, and I would be VERY encouraged if someone wanted to do this. It means that they do want to find out if the dog is a good match for them. Suppose they just took it and decided they werent, and got rid of it somewhere?

I think it shows a desire to be a good owner.
 

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I don't think they are being unreasonable. When we went to look at pups I did pick the one that seemed to bond with ds. My main concern was how well he would do with children. After spending time with all the pups and watching them and ds I chose the one that repeatedly came to him. That pup also happened to be the owner's dd's favorite one.
 

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In part I can understand your point but there isnt going to be any harm one way or another no matter which way it goes. If they know the breed as well as they should before adopting a special needs of that breed, then they should know to expect her to be reserved. I would be more concerned about the other dog.
I myself have always found it to get the better dog is to see which likes me the best unless we are talking show or perfomance dog. This is how I got suckered in to this lab pup I have now, there was no way I was wanting a puppy, and Im quite strong to see a pup, get a puppy fix and go about my way.
While calvin aka dh was in the hospital he broke down because he missed our dogs so much, fresh from that I went to work and a lady was moving and had three black lab akc reg 13 week old puppies she just wanted to find a home for, I had to look.. So I proceeded to sqat to meet the pups, and the biggest male calmly walks up to me and puts his head on my knee and waits for me to pet him, needless to say hes my next pet thearapy dog. He picked me, other wise I wouldnt be going through the whole puppy thing again.

Willow, look at this way, if they dont understand why she didnt instant bond then they are not the right home, it takes more effort to build trust with a blind dog anyone that cant understand shouldnt be looking at any special needs dog.
 

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I agree, and I would be VERY encouraged if someone wanted to do this.
When I did rescue, it was club policy that the family meet with the dog prior to the adoption going through. The adoption wouldn't be finalized until at least 24 hours after the meeting, to give everyone time to process what happened at that meeting. There was at least one family that came to meet a dog and decided it wasn't a good match.

I also understand the "dog picks me" thought. 15+ years ago I contacted the breeders of a litter of Italian Greyhound puppies. They invited us to their house to see the 8 week old litter, explaining that they wouldn't be available for awhile, as they showed dogs and it would be impossible to evaluate them at such a young age. I was in puppy heaven, sitting on the floor and eight squirmy puppies crawling all over. One little pup crawled on my lap and settled in, watching her siblings play while she relaxed.

A month or so later the lady called up and said we could pick up our puppy as she had one that she could tell by then wasn't going to be show quality. When I got to her house, I was completely surprised when the lady handed me that very same puppy that cuddled up on my lap four weeks prior. She didn't remember the puppy sitting on my lap, but chuckled and said "She must have picked you out last month."

Yep, the dog picked me that time.
 

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I have had some delightfull dogs, but some of them "clicked " with me and some did not.

I had a closer relationship with the ones that I clicked with. I think that is what they are looking for: the "click".

It would worry me just a little. Because, you will not click with every dog, even if they would be an excellent friend.
 

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I'll never get a puppy from a breeder who insists on matching puppy to buyer. Four years ago when I got Dingo my mom wanted me to pick the one curled up at her feet instead of my boy who was sound asleep on my lap. He's the perfect dog for me, if I had gone with the other one it might not be the same story. I say it's nothing to get worked up over.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
If they decide she is not a good match- if it is in a few days or 10 yrs from now, she gets returned here. It is in my contract for all my pups/dogs. That said, maybe I am being senstive but I think my sensitivity has helped prevent bad placements more than a few times. I don't expect anyone to take an animal without meeting them first. Actually, I am not sure how this will go tommorrow... Spring is now coming into season- so I am sure he will like her fine even though he is neutered. I may ask that she stay here until she finishes her season.

I agree, and I would be VERY encouraged if someone wanted to do this. It means that they do want to find out if the dog is a good match for them. Suppose they just took it and decided they werent, and got rid of it somewhere?

I think it shows a desire to be a good owner.
 

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Since I have a similiar breed temperament wise I understand exactly what you mean Willow, on top of it she's special needs, and may not respond to them the way they want the first time at all. Perhaps they don't really understand the breeds temperament all that well, I constantly have to explain that Shelties aren't Labs, their not going to fall all over you the very first time, its just not in their natures. Although I must admit, I do have a few girls with a very un-sheltielike temperament who are very friendly and outgoing, their my door greeters.

That said I've come to realize that getting a dog is a very emotional experience for many people, that was driven home with this last litter as 3 of my puppy people had lost a sheltie, and had gotten to the point that they were ready to get another. I found myself catering to them emotionally, because it was a very emotional, important time for them. While I think its foolish to insist that the dog must pick them, its not the first time I've heard that, and in todays world thats not an easy request to grant. Things are different today, you used to go to the breeder and see all the puppies in the litter, sit on the floor and play with all of them and make your choice from there. Today most of my puppies are reserved from pictures alone, no one comes here unless their picking up their puppy, I do not allow lookie loo's. I do not allow them to bring their present dog either. I never show them the entire litter, only the one thats theirs, or the 1 or perhaps 2 others that are available. So far they have always taken the puppy that they reserved. I don't show them reserved puppies, or the puppies that I'm keeping, because people always want what they can't have. I showed someone a reserved puppy once, it was a mistake. Can you imagine if someone felt that a held back puppy had 'chosen' them? Most folks who get a puppy from me have had shelties before, so they know what to expect, and that makes it easier on me, as their already educated. So if the sire of the litter won't run up and lick all over them they don't get upset, they understand and appreciate the reserve of the breed.

Perhaps thats the problem here, they don't know the breed well enough, or their expectations are too high, or its a really emotional decision for them, and its affecting their view of the situation. I'd be a tad annoyed too, but if I felt that it would be a great home I'd go along, do my best to work thru the situation just so that the dog would be well taken care of. Granted, if it began to appear that they were going to be a PIA now and in the future I'd blow them off. I hope it all works out.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
They came today. Though she was reserved at first, went up to sniff and then walked away and back, away and back, after about 10 mins she was giving them kisses and crawling in thier laps. She went home with them.
 
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