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First of all this is with my Mom. I love her and want to show her respect. This is why I have had difficulty dealing with it so far. Any advice given should be given with this in mind.

Thanks!

The problem:

When I am on the phone with my Mom (long distance), she will stop mid sentence to take a call on her cell phone from my brother or his kids or interrupt our conversation to talk to them. She never says excuse me or hold on a second. Most of the time I am not even aware that she is no longer in conversation with me, until I notice their conversation in the back ground or I ask her a question and she fails to answer. Sometimes she will say something completely off subject of what we were talking about. I will ask her about it and get no response, then realized she is on her other phone. It happened again today. I asked her a question and she didn't answer. I noticed my niece and nephew were talking in the back ground and realized that Mom was paying more attention to their conversation than ours. I stopped right then, raised my voice just enough to get her attention and said "I have to go, love you, bye" and hung up.

It's not just me, she does the same thing to my sister all the time.

She sees my family 4-6 times a year, my sister's family, not much more. She sees my brother & his family daily, they are even living with her at this time until their new house is built. We (sister & I) realize she is more involved with his family and are OK with that. It just irritates us that she sees them all the time and cannot pay attention to our conversations with her for even 15 minutes at a time.

I am thinking about just hanging up every time she does this. Most of the time, I don't think she will even notice. I have tried ignoring it and not letting it bother me, but in truth it irritates me more and more all the time.

What are some tactful ways to handle this?
 

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I'd be really upfront with her. Just tell her that it hurts you when you are taking the time to call her to stay in touch and she doesn't give you her full attention. If she doesn't have time to give you her full attention, then just say so. But say so! Remind her that the long distance dollars are racking up while she's keeping you on "hold". If she's a reasonable woman, she should get that.
 
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