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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As most of you probably do, DH and I are in and out of Micky D's a lot. One morning recently when we went to leave there, we noticed an old car parked next to us that looked like someone lived in the car. There was a huge dog in the back seat chained around the head rest. After talking about it, we pretty much figured out it was an older lady sitting at a table next to us. I told DH I got the impression she was clean and didn't remind me of a homeless person even though the car did. Well, tonight we stopped in for a bite and recognized her being the lady we had seen. She bought two burgers and one coke, sat and ate one burger, then went out to the car, went around to the side the dog was sitting, and fed the dog the other. She was walking around to the driver's side as we were walking to our vehicle and she stopped us. She said she was watching us inside eating together and wanted to tell us to enjoy every minute we have together because one day one of us will be gone and the other one left alone. She said she'd lost her husband and was alone. I thanked her for the kind words and I didn't know what else to say. It brought tears to my eyes and I keep thinking about her. I was wondering if we see her again, and I feel that we might, if we get her license number, will the police check up on her to make sure she has a place to live? Winter is coming and to think of someone living in their car is heart breaking. She was an older lady with a handicap tag.
 

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HomesteadHopefuls
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sad as it is, no the p.d. probably won't help her really.

maybe you could look around, or make some calls,
write it all down and see what your area has to offer,
give it to her if you see her again.

maybe you could buy a bag of dog food and give that to her too,
maybe even gather a few odds and ends,like
a pair of gloves, a scarf,did you notice if she had a coat,
did you notice her size,maybe a nice blanket would be good too

a little box of food may go a long way for her too.

its nice of you that you care enough about her to want to help.

I think we have become an uncaring world for the most part
so many that are not really needy take and take,then
when someone really needs a hand UP, alot of us tend to look down our noses,and think we know all about everything...and so quick to judge.
and really, how many of us are just a paycheck away form being in her shoes??
I hope you can help her.
and ya never know,

maybe your kindness will be paid forward someday.
mine was when I became homeless years ago.
 

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Perhaps you could invite her to Thanksgiving dinner so she won't be alone on that day. THen you would have a chance to learn more about her situation and how to best help her.
 

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Unfortunately, with jobs being cut and shipped over seas, and the economic crisis, she is in much good company. I've noticed the calibre of the homeless has been elevated. It not just the druggies, drunks and mentally ill. It's real spoken, intelligent people who have come on hard times and lost everything. My sister has a rental house and found a young lady and her 2 yr. old squatting there when she was between renters. The lady worked, but didn't earn enough or have enough credit to qualify for an apartment. My sister had called the police because she didn't go into the house when she realized someone was there, so it was actually the police that discovered if was a woman and child. They did help by calling some shelters and finding somewhere for the lady to go. I hope you'll be able to find someone to help this lady too.
 

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Very Dairy
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Please, PLEASE do not call the police department! There's a good chance she doesn't have valid insurance or registration on her car, in which case, the police would impound it and she'd have to pay hundreds of dollars to get it back!

If you really want to help her, slip an envelope with some cash in it under her windshield wiper ...
 

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Mansfield, VT for 200 yrs
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I agree that dog food, possibly in a container so the dog, if he's hungry, can't devour it all at once, would be a lovely gift for someone trying to hold it together and stay with their last companion, and I second the don't call the police vote.

Once this woman is "in the system" she will lose her dog. Please don't underestimate what this woman is willing to go through to keep her dog, or the impact losing it would have on her. I suspect she'd rather live in her car than watch her dog taken away, and probably put down. And who can blame her?

But very sad. This is one of the things that concerns me about friends and clients with a casual attitude towards their savings: women live longer. And women can outlive their assets if couples are not planning ahead. It sounds like that's what happened here.
 

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Perhaps you could invite her to Thanksgiving dinner so she won't be alone on that day. THen you would have a chance to learn more about her situation and how to best help her.
I agree. I'm sure she'd love the company and conversation if she's so used to being alone. :( Then you could find out more about her... and figure out how best you could help her (making calls, etc).

Keep us updated! And Thank You for being so caring. :)
 

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I'm skinny
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It could be her husband had a long illness that prevented them from getting the car worked on or getting another vehicle.

The next time you see her at Micky D's why not ask if you can join her, or, would she like to join you and your husband at your table. That would allow you to get to know her a little better and find out in what way you could help.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I appreciate everyone's thoughts. I feel that we will cross paths again, and I agree with WIHH, there's a reason our paths crossed last night. I just have to figure out for myself what that reason might be.
 

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even though some have little they are proud and "charity" might offend them. On the dog food, i would get a bag, and then offer it with "we were going to get a dog and decided not to, and already had the dog food, we can't use it now, and remembered you had a dog, would you like it? give her an option.
also say hello each time you see her. maybe ask if you can join her at mickey dees, then offer her to visit for Thanksgiving. "I just wanted you to know your words touched us and we would like to invite you to Thanksgiving with us so we can visit more" . I bet she has a great story to tell. I bet she would like to have someone to talk to. Im sure being the holliday season she misses her loved one. You would be doing her a great thing to even sit and visit with her, without saying it, shell know there is someone who cares.
 

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We had a neighbor who was elderly, she is in no way homeless, she has everything. But she is alone. her husband passed away years ago, and her 2 kids live far away and dont visit . We cooked a whole thanksgiving Dinner last year and brought it to her house and had dinner with her, even brough a friend and her husband. She had her table all set up with her best china, all fancy shmancy. Boy was she happy, she really enjoyed having company, and we knew she had a good meal, and of course left some for her for later. it was nice to see her smile. Ive never seen that little woman eat so much! even though we moved we will be cooking again this year, and bringing it over, shes really looking forward to it.
Its not about how much they have , its about family, friends.
This "homeless" lady could be loaded with money, you dont know. maybe what she needs is what money cant buy.
 

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I appreciate everyone's thoughts. I feel that we will cross paths again, and I agree with WIHH, there's a reason our paths crossed last night. I just have to figure out for myself what that reason might be.
Definitely do not call the police unless you want to upset her world.
 

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BusyBee, I just had to tell you that you sound like a very thoughtful, cosiderate person.
Country Lady, I second the suggestions.
 

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I recall a story on 60 Minutes of two women living in their cars in upscale California somewhere. One was a career woman w/wonderful credentials who lost her job, then her house, etc., etc. She figured out how to keep up her image, dressed in beautiful women's business clothes, and was busy applying for work. I don't remember if there was a follow-up happy ending or not :((( We should never count on things staying the same, or being easy. // I would proceed cautiously, since offending or upsetting her is not what you want to do. Feeding herself or her dog burgers from Micky D.'s is not the best use of her dollar, so it does suggest that some of her decision-making powers are suspect. If you have the chance of connecting with her bit by bit, then you can make some choices about what you could do to help. And even if she needs help. Sue
 

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A lot of these people like living like that-no kidding- & HAVE lots of money ,most likely more money than you-no kidding-. If she is a vagrent call the cops that is what they are used for. If not just feel free to get that warm fuzzy feeling in your stomach, BECAUSE I gave her $200.00 cash A good meal.& a bag of dog food..NOT
 

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she may have alot of money, she may not, noone has said anything about handing her 200.00, being kind was mentioned, speaking with her was mentioned, thanksgiving was mentioned, finding her shelter was mentioned. Being KIND was the key words, caring, compassion. Its not always about money.
and the original post spoke about what the lady had told her and her husband. it leads me to believe that she had normalcy at one time, and due to the loss of a love one, her world may have crumbled to where she is now. maybe she doesnt know how to get back to normalcy.
maybe when her spouse died, her social security was cut in half, and it couldnt pay the bills, and she lost her home, and everything else. It happens you know. maybe she fell through the cracks of the system and couldnt get the help she needed, and has to survive how she can . Look at the economy now. It happens.
If you dont have it in you to help, then dont, thats your choice, but dont suggest that others are wrong for doing it, its our choice.

what if you died, and your wife was hit by hard times, due to your passing, you wouldnt want anyone to try to help her? happy Thanksgiving
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
The next time I go in McDonald's, I'm going to speak with the manager and see how much she knows about her and how often she comes in there. I'm all for doing something to help her, but I have to say that I'm cautious. We also thought, if we see her again, seeing which direction she leaves and possibly where she goes, if we can do that without being seen. I can't describe how her car looked. There was about a foot of stuff on her dashboard all the way across. I'm sure she could barely see above it to drive. There was barely enough room for her dog to sit in the back seat. I must say, it's something I can't get out of my mind. If she had seemed mentally unbalanced would have been reason for the car looking like it did, but with the short exchange of words, she seemed allright. I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this subject.
 

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My neighbor, from before i moved, has everything, a beautiful home, money in the bank, she can buy whatever she wants. what she doesnt have is companionship. Her 2 kids are up in age and ill they dont travel, she very seldom has company. She doesnt get out much. me Im struggling to keep the lights on, sold all i could to make ends meet, and worried about making it to next month. But i give her something she cant buy and she wants, and thats my friendship. Just visiting with her for a little while when i can, makes her smile, the kids giving her a big hug, makes her happy. a phone call, anything. To know that we care.
Sometimes people just need to know they are cared about, they have value. Sometimes self esteem, is all someone needs to pick themselves up.
 
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