A Growing Trend among elders?

Discussion in 'Homesteading and Retirement' started by Micheal, May 14, 2017.

  1. Micheal

    Micheal Well-Known Member Supporter

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    In a recent New York Times article about elders "shacking up". :eek:

    "The number of people over 50 who cohabit with an unmarried partner jumped 75% from 2007 to 2016, according to the Pew Research Center - the highest increase in any age group."
    (Number over age 50 to +4 million from 2.3 million - number over age 65 doubled to about 900,000.)

    Me, been married over 53 years don't know if'n I could restart a relationship after that many years with one person. Better yet don' really know if I'd want to, but with keeping an open mind... :confused:

    Thoughts?
     
  2. ovendoctor

    ovendoctor north of the lift bridge

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    welp we have 38 years in and if I were to loose her, it would have to be some one very special and not a project.
    and if that's the case might as well get hitched.:)

    Doc.
     
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  3. Clem

    Clem Realist

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    In my experience, "shacking up" is for sex and finances. You have to consider the value of having a decent home, and someone to help you. I'd think that having someone come along and pay some of the bills and have a little whoopie from time to time would be a great tradeoff for some old lonely coot.

    I expect there's not a whole lot in the "relationship" line going on there. Beyond a certain age, you've got to approach life with more logic and less emotion.
     
  4. COSunflower

    COSunflower Country Girl Supporter

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    We have a lot of that going on in this area simply because it costs so much to live here. :( Lots of older people I know have joined forces not for romantic reasons but financial and social. No one likes to be alone. For myself, I was married 38 years and have no desire or reason to marry now. I'm lucky enough to be able to live on my own simply because the little homestead is already paid for and I don't have a car payment. My car is 17 years old but still runs well. My boys and grandkids are great about keeping me occupied - LOL! - and I have lots of nice neighbors and many friends. I'm blessed. :)
     
  5. farmrbrown

    farmrbrown nobody

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    If you know the details about the finances at that age, it wouldn't surprise you.
    Medicare, Medicaid, SS benefits, VA, etc. make looking like you're a single income a smart move. Older folks don't want to lose what they've got and don't want to burden others either.
    My mom had a BF for the last 20 years...........up until February before last.
    She's 80 now, but if she found someone again, I'd be happy for her.
    It sucks getting so old there's no one left.
    My Grandpa outlived 2 wives and still found a "lady friend" (his words, lol) until he was in his early 90's.
    He was a cool old man. :cool:
     
  6. hunter63

    hunter63 Well-Known Member

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    When you over a certain age......being able to drive after dark...will make you golden....
     
  7. sisterpine

    sisterpine Goshen Farm Supporter

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    I often wonder if there will be a co habitat-or in my future. Not for romance, but for companionship. Would not matter if it were a man or a woman friend...someone to do stuff with.
     
  8. Bellyman

    Bellyman Well-Known Member

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    I think a lot of it has to do with the complications and penalties for marrying vs being "single". Even if the relationship is pretty much platonic, a male and female teaming up can work pretty well as they can compliment each other with their skills and abilities, more so than that of a couple of ol' coots that basically duplicate their inadequacies.

    If there is real romance going on, it's still complicated by government programs, kids, wills, assets, inheritances, those fun little things that make a couple of oldsters say, "screw it" and just shack up.

    FWIW, I've known a few people well into their 80's that were pretty "active" in the bedroom. Viagra serves purposes other than keeping old men from rolling out of bed in the nursing home. ;) ... and some may not even need it if they're healthy.
     
  9. big rockpile

    big rockpile If I need a Shelter

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    My Mother in Law married a guy that all of a sudden was collecting insurance money on arsons and his nephew down the road came up dead. She thinks he was tied into all of it. Finally divorce him.

    big rockpile
     
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  10. ridgerunner1965

    ridgerunner1965 Well-Known Member

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    my gma died in her 80's. my gpa loved her very much. he dated a few women and came to live with the girl that lived next door to him.her husband had also died.they had all been friends.

    she was a wonderfull lady and treated my gpa very nice, we came to love her as one of our family.

    in his 90's he became infirm and died at 99. his gfren continued to live with us for a several months until her family came to get her from the east coast.
     
  11. Fishindude

    Fishindude Well-Known Member Supporter

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    Also a lot of freeloading middle aged kids living with parents and grand parents.
     
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  12. big rockpile

    big rockpile If I need a Shelter

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    Seems crazy but the way things are with me and my wife it is setting up for each not needing the other. Like woman company but don't need it.

    big rockpile
     
  13. tiffnzacsmom

    tiffnzacsmom just me Supporter

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    My grandfather said he'd never remarry but would live with someone. He had assets he wanted his sons to have and any woman he got with would have those for her children. Marriage could be a problem even with a will.

    My grandmother had gentlemen callers until she was unable to stay home in her 80s.
     
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  14. arabian knight

    arabian knight Miniature Horse lover Supporter

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    Not new at all. Several years ago back in the 80's my Grandmother, after Grandpa died went and found a 'friend' and it was not too long before they were living together. sooooo? Like they said better to have 2 SS checks coming in then one being punished. Even my Dad who is 88 and lost my step Mom 2 years ago is looking for a live in. They are LONEY after all these years together, can't blame these older folks at all for just living together.
     
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  15. motdaugrnds

    motdaugrnds II Corinthians 5:7 Supporter

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    I don't doubt the trend of older folks moving in with each other is growing. I personally think it is great! The draw back is actually the same as those for younger people living together, i.e. level of maturity. Also, integrity is a must for "any" type of relationship to be successful. That does not change with age. If each party "understands" their own values, interests and limitations and those of the one they're interested in then better choices can be made that don't lead to disaster down the road.

    Financial considerations for many is one of the largest considerations; however, it is not nearly as important as mutual respect, consideration and compatibility. Working together older people can turn a humdrum existence into a world of fun!

    In thinking of this growing trend, I suspect there are many elderly who would appreciate having another around for a variety of reasons. I also think there are many who are not willing to chance leaving their home to take up residence in that of another. Knowing one's own home, the safety and potential of it is a comfort in and of itself even if it is difficult to get things done.
     
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