That's what I heard from my mother-in-law for the umpteenth time last Sunday in a rant the gist of which was that my husband and I are too hard on our kids. Apparently, her idea of being a grandparent involves being able to give them as much sugar as they want, as much TV as they want, and as many presents as they want. My husband and I want our children to love their grandparents for who they are, not what they give or let them do. Is that unreasonable? I've also been thinking about the "you're not letting us be grandparents" line, and I've come to the conclusion that we don't HAVE to let them be grandparents. We don't HAVE to let them spend time with our kids at all. We have heretofore CHOSEN to let them spend time with our kids, but their blatant disrespect for the boundaries we have set is teaching our children to be dishonest and deceitful--"Don't tell mom and dad! It'll be our secret. Have some more candy." Are we out of line or are they? Do grandparents have to be given full and unlimited access to grandchildren, and do parents have to allow grandparents to overindulge grandchildren?