hoodwinked husbands

Tabitha · #1 02/03/14, 10:45 AM

What about a court making a man pay for another man's child that his mate lied to him about?

I posted a video below on just that subject. Looks like men are really the victims nowadays. Any thoughts/evidence/ opinions?

7thswan · #2 02/03/14, 10:49 AM

Yes, men are,but the real problem is because it's over money. Money is the excuse. I have seen a story about a man that donated sperm, it was found out who he was thru the clinic and he has been made to pay child support for the baby girl.

arcticow · #3 02/03/14, 11:27 AM

Follow the money, always. Too often these days, the trail leads right over the rights of dads, but it IS usually about the money. Doesn't excuse the deadbeat dads, though...

emdeengee · #4 02/03/14, 11:50 AM

No need for anyone to be a "victim" now-a-days. DNA testing solves the problem. No man can be fooled into raising another man's child and no man can deny his child. Finally protection - FOR THE CHILD.

MO_cows · #5 02/03/14, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emdeengee

No need for anyone to be a "victim" now-a-days. DNA testing solves the problem. No man can be fooled into raising another man's child and no man can deny his child. Finally protection - FOR THE CHILD.

Nope, not the case. If you are married to a woman and she has a child, you are the legal father of that child and responsible for it in some, if not most, states.

I have a nephew right now who is dragging his feet on getting a divorce even though they have been separated for years and it's over. If she has another baby by her boyfriend, she could hit him for child support. HE would have to pay a lot of legal fees to fight it/change it. The law ASSUMES that the child is the husband's when a woman is married and the burden is on the husband to prove otherwise and make the court take action.

emdeengee · #6 02/03/14, 12:17 PM

But that is the point. When you marry you presume that the relationship is honest. If you have doubts then you have problems. And if the doubts are proven then it is up to you to fight to correct the matter.

In the past it was not possible to prove that a child was not yours (unless you happened to hit it lucky with the blood type) but now it is absolutely provable.

It may cost you but at the same time you can work to change the law. And the more who go to court and the more proven cases the more likely the law will be changed. Complaining about it does not change a thing. You actually have to do something.

bluefish · #7 02/03/14, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MO_cows

Nope, not the case. If you are married to a woman and she has a child, you are the legal father of that child and responsible for it in some, if not most, states.

I have a nephew right now who is dragging his feet on getting a divorce even though they have been separated for years and it's over. If she has another baby by her boyfriend, she could hit him for child support. HE would have to pay a lot of legal fees to fight it/change it. The law ASSUMES that the child is the husband's when a woman is married and the burden is on the husband to prove otherwise and make the court take action.

At least in my state, it can be noted and/or disputed, but it has to be at birth when filing the BC. If the man's name is put down as the father and he signs the BC, then...............

Ozarks Tom · #8 02/03/14, 01:38 PM

The way this world is going, the next court case will be to determine who the mother is.

7thswan · #9 02/03/14, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emdeengee

No need for anyone to be a "victim" now-a-days. DNA testing solves the problem. No man can be fooled into raising another man's child and no man can deny his child. Finally protection - FOR THE CHILD.

There it is- FOR THE CHILDREN ,Whaaaaaaaa

(ok, it was going to take too long to find the vomit icon)

MDKatie · #10 02/03/14, 02:22 PM

Here's a nice little story of someone I know. He was in a relationship. She cheated, got pregnant, and lied saying it was not his child. A year later she comes to him and says she thinks she was wrong about the paternity, court forces HIM to pay for the DNA test, and once it shows the kid is his he is ordered to pay back child support for that year that he missed. He missed out a whole year of his child's life because she lied and cheated, and he was the one to pay for it. What sense does that make?

emdeengee · #11 02/03/14, 02:55 PM

It makes no sense and is not fair but who said life is fair?

Enough with the whining. It is time men and women grew up and realized that if they have sex there is ALWAYS a possibility that a pregnancy will result. Men are 100% responsible for their sperm just as women are 100% responsible for their eggs and therefore they are each 100% responsible for the pregnancy. What they choose to do about it is another question.

If you do not think the baby is yours then it is up to you to prove it. And it is easily done. If the baby is yours then take care of your child.

plowjockey · #12 02/03/14, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emdeengee

No need for anyone to be a "victim" now-a-days. DNA testing solves the problem. No man can be fooled into raising another man's child and no man can deny his child. Finally protection - FOR THE CHILD.

Really?

A family member married a Mexican national, she Got pregnant (by someone else), gave birth, then split a couple of years later. Had a DNA test and CPS and the Navy, told him "ok, just pay anyway", since the child "needed the support" and was an
American citizen, even though she was back with her "mother", in Mexico.

Had to fight it it court, to get out of it.

If they had stayed together, he may have been "fooled" this entire life.

wy_white_wolf · #13 02/03/14, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emdeengee

No need for anyone to be a "victim" now-a-days. DNA testing solves the problem. No man can be fooled into raising another man's child and no man can deny his child. Finally protection - FOR THE CHILD.

By Wyoming State law, if the child is born in wedlock it's yours. You will pay child support even if DNA or any other testing may prove you're not the biological father.

WWW

haypoint · #14 02/03/14, 03:43 PM

I've read a few of the common sense comments posted so far. Sadly, in Court, there is little common sense. Let me relate a personal segment of my life. So, this isn't gossip.
40 years ago, just before I graduated High School, I fell in love with a 19 year old girl that was a couple months pregnant by another guy. He didn't want her or her child. Offered to kick her down a flight of stairs to help end the pregnancy. She chose to have the baby. I graduated High School, got a job, rented an apartment and married her. She told me that she wanted nothing from the donor and if our marriage didn't work out, she, of course wanted nothing from me. The baby was born. No insurance, but we paid our bills. It was a struggle. The marriage lasted 3 years.
I was ordered to pay child support for 15 years. All children born from your wife are your children, according to Friend of the Court. To do otherwise would, "bastardize the children". So, I paid support. I spent most weekends with her. She spent a big portion of her summers with me.
When she turned 18, her mother told her who her real father was and what an awful man I was. He got an invitation to her High School Graduation. I sat in the bleachers.
That is the last I've seen her.
DNA doesn't matter some times.

emdeengee · #15 02/03/14, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wy_white_wolf

By Wyoming State law, if the child is born in wedlock it's yours. You will pay child support even if DNA or any other testing may prove you're not the biological father. WWW

Yes I know and this was done to protect the children of marriage when there was no way to prove paternity. Many men (before laws were enforced) walked away from their legitimate children for their own reasons. Shunned and denied their children and of course did not support them.

But today there is a conclusive way to determine paternity so it is up to men to challenge the situation - legally - and get the laws changed.

kasilofhome · #16 02/03/14, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emdeengee

It makes no sense and is not fair but who said life is fair?

Enough with the whining. It is time men and women grew up and realized that if they have sex there is ALWAYS a possibility that a pregnancy will result. Men are 100% responsible for their sperm just as women are 100% responsible for their eggs and therefore they are each 100% responsible for the pregnancy. What they choose to do about it is another question.

If you do not think the baby is yours then it is up to you to prove it. And it is easily done. If the baby is yours then take care of your child.

Having stated that so plainly I can't help but think if you're pro choice for the mother you're also pro choice for the father ?

Tabitha · #17 02/03/14, 04:00 PM

Supposedly 30% of women cheat their mate and lie about the offspring. That is a very high number. Of course I am living outside of the loop and what do I know.

emdeengee · #18 02/03/14, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WV Hillbilly

Having stated that so plainly I can't help but think if you're pro choice for the mother you're also pro choice for the father ?

Absolutely. A person has the choice to have sex or not. If they have sex there may be a consequence. What they and their sexual partner (not necessarily a legal partner) then decide to do about the pregnancy will be what they discussed - you know birth, abortion, adoption. You did discuss this right?

Or was this some animalistic rutting with someone they don't really know at all? If so this is really, really unfortunate for them and the other person.

Paumon · #19 02/03/14, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tabitha

Supposedly 30% of women cheat their mate and lie about the offspring. That is a very high number. Of course I am living outside of the loop and what do I know.

I don't believe that.

wwubben · #20 02/03/14, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emdeengee

No need for anyone to be a "victim" now-a-days. DNA testing solves the problem. No man can be fooled into raising another man's child and no man can deny his child. Finally protection - FOR THE CHILD.

My neighbor got a divorce after about ten years of marriage.They had three kids.His mother made him have the kids dna tested.The seven year old boy was not his.The judge sai9d that because he raised the boy as his father for seven years he had to pay support for him.That was several years ago and he has to pay until the boy is eighteen.He will have to pay longer if the boy goes to college.He says he still feels the same love for the boy though.